I sat today in my kid’s empty rooms and cried. I cried because I don’t know where we’re going to live next. I cried because saying goodbye is hard. I cried because I am human. But even in the tears I trust. As I cried, I saw the Lord holding me in His arms. His arms were so enormous that I wondered why I would ever feel anything but contentment and safety within them, and then He showed me that He had pulled me up into His arms, so I could release all my emotions while held safely in them. He loves me enough to create a safe space for my process.
His love is holding me.
I felt peace wash over me, and then a release of a thousand tears was able to come. Those thousand tears that I had been holding back for such a time as this. I’ve been walking strong and steady and He knows I’m tired. He knows because He made me. He made me to be a “feeler”. He is ok with it.
I feel everything, with every fiber of my being. When I hurt, it’s big. When I love, it’s enormous. When I grieve, it’s real. And I am ok with it.
These things don’t make me weaker than others, no on the contrary, they make me so strong. One of my greatest strengths is to be able to walk through emotion and not get stuck trying to hide from it. Being such a feeler also indicates another thing God put inside of me, the heart of an intercessor. It’s that same heart that helps me intercede before the throne on behalf of others. I was created to do this.
Today, I simply ask Jesus to intercede on my behalf. I don’t even know what I need. But without a doubt, He does. So, I lay it down and I will just feel until He shows me what’s wrong. Remember, feelings are not what leads us, but they do indicate places where we have a need. Today I have a need.
I ask you, “Do you have a need today?”. Do you find yourself hiding from feelings, or embracing them to find their root cause? It’s never too late to let the Master Mechanic take a look under your hood. He’s always able to find the cause and sort it all out. He loves you.
No matter where you find yourself today, the one thing that is certain, and the one thing that creates a bond we share is, we are all completely and undoubtedly in need of Jesus. Every day and in every moment.
Soak in the verses below…they are like a gentle spring rain across the soul and lift up even the weariest of heads. His love is the only love that can quench the thirst of a dry spirit.
Your Kingdom is an everlasting Kingdom, and Your domain endures through all generations. The Lord is trustworthy in all He promises and faithful in all He does. The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food at the proper time. You open Your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all His ways and faithful in all He does. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy. My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord. Let every creature praise His holy name forever and ever. Psalm 145:13-21
365 Days in the Presence 