Day 251: Feeling Seen (September 8)

Tonight, I went for a walk down the gravel road that we live on.  I love that road.  God meets me there.  Dragonflies are my escorts as I walk and process.  I need the open space.  There is always green all around me.  I usually walk in the evening and can see the beauty of the sunset, as well as the glory of the rising moon.  Pinks, oranges, and reds paint the sky and I feel so near to Him.  Tonight, when I went out to walk, I was feeling a pang of loneliness.  I was feeling that friendship void again.

Like I’ve said before, everyone here has been so kind and welcoming to us, but you can’t create history with someone without time.  Time must come and go, like the sunrise and sunset, in order for connections and history with one another to be made.  We must face seasons together and walk in encouragement or comfort with one another before real connections come.  It will happen, I know full well it will.  But that doesn’t negate the empty of today.

I was contemplating these thoughts when I noticed a dragonfly coming alongside of me, and the Lord gently spoke to my heart, “Lisa, remember Me?  I am your closest Friend.  I am still here.  Lean into Me.  I want to be your Friend tonight.”

A smile spread across my face as the world seemed a little brighter all of the sudden.  I began to notice so much beauty surrounding me.  I felt known.

Then I realized, since we’ve been back in the south, I have felt so safe.  The Bible belt is a reality, and believe me, as someone who’s lived in it and outside of it, it brings comfort.  There’s a steadiness here that I love.  I love the fact that most people are eager to make eye contact with me here, and almost all of them smile.  I love that so many people greet me, whether they know me or not.  I am comforted by the kindnesses all around me.  Then I realized something special, it makes me feel seen.

Have you ever been somewhere, or in a season when you felt invisible?  Like nobody noticed you or even cared you existed.  Well, God has crafted something special into this place I have found myself, and it’s the generosity of feeling seen.  Of knowing others notice my presence and long to help me feel welcomed.  Oh, my soul drinks this in like one who has been lost in the desert for a season and has now made their way back to the well.

I am seen.  God’s eyes are always on me.  He never loses sight of me.  He never forgets where I am.  He knows my season.  He knows my heart, and cares to meet its desires.  He is the God Who knows.

You have searched me, Lord, and You know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue You, Lord, know it completely.  You hem me in behind and before, and You lay Your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.      Psalm 139:1-6

The Lord looks from heaven; He sees all the sons of men; from His dwelling place He looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth, He Who fashions the hearts of them all, He who understands all their works.  Psalm 33:13-15