I’ve been walking through one of those “dark seasons of the soul” this week. You know, the time when it feels like you are under spiritual attack from every angle and it feels impossible to relax and let your guard down lest you find yourself defeated. I have routinely used worship as warfare. I’ve relentlessly returned to scripture every day for focus and encouragement. I have continued to journal lengthy prayers to God and let myself cry a thousand tears, and I’ve continued to exercise every day because I know my mental health hinges on it.
Today, as I was out walking the dirt roads near our home, I saw with perfect clarity God’s face. It was then that I realized, even though I’d been doing all the right things this week, I still had struggled to see God’s face.
I’d felt the presence of God so strongly many times throughout the week, and knew that my worship is unique right now because I’m pouring out of a place that feels so desperate and broken. The fact that I’m walking through such a hard week doesn’t detract from my worship, quite the contrary it increases that beauty and breakthrough of it.
But here I was today, walking and realizing that I hadn’t been able to poke my head above my troubles to see His face. There’s something special that happens when you lock eyes with Him.
All of my daily activities had kept me close to His heart, but I needed a look from Him. I needed to see the understanding that He holds in one quick glance. I needed the affirmation I get when He holds my gaze for a while and He smiles at me.
Friend, in any season we are to seek His kingdom first. It’s never the wrong thing to do. I see so many people stumbling around in their own version of this dark season I described, but they seem to be clinging to the lies and fear that is daily poured out. What have we to fear of a sickness that has a 99.96% survival rate, minimal symptoms for most, and is far less impacting than the flu and a multitude of other things? I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t keep quiet over the blatant hypocrisy, but still I only find rest when I first seek His kingdom.
So here I am, laying down all my burdens and troubles and asking God for His heart. I am yearning for heaven and asking God how I can best partner with Him as we all walk this out.
Prayer Moment: From this day forward, I encourage you to take any and all “news” you hear and present it before God. Let Him either remove the lie or confirm the truth. Don’t process what’s true by the fear you feel. Let fear serve as an indicator that what you’re hearing is likely not coming from God and is a trick or deception of the enemy. We will only make it through this if we partner with Him through it all. But don’t lose hope! He’s still ever-present and is still honoring the promises He’s made. We will all get through this.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:33-34
365 Days in the Presence 