Deeper Day 259: Search me, O Lord

I want to share something with you today…a secret. Lean in and listen and I’ll tell you…I intentionally ask God to search me. I invite Him on a regular basis to examine my heart and mind to test my anxious thoughts. Yes, I really do.

All my adult life I’ve been told, “Never ask God for patience because then He’ll give you ample opportunity to develop it.” I understand why people say that, I truly do. It’s a scary thing to ask for something that you know will sometimes cause discomfort or even pain, but the truth is, we need such discomfort and pain if we are to fully grow.

Likewise, if we never ask God to examine us and to test our anxious thoughts, then we risk far more than we potentially “lose”.

Yes, when God searches me, it sometimes brings great discomfort and even situations that cause me to stretch much farther than I would like, but I never regret it in the end. I always end up grateful for the growth and the reset to my mind. When I allow God to test my anxious thoughts, then I can discover places where I believe lies and then He can release truth to me. The Bible gives us more than one example of another (David) asking for this very thing…

Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for Your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in Your truth. Psalm 26:2-3

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

It was from the promptings of Psalms that I desired to pray this way in the first place. If it’s good enough for David, then it’s good enough for me.

In a world full of anxiety medicine and diagnoses…it’s good to remember that we don’t want to medicate that which God wants to heal. Don’t numb what He’s longing to expose and restore. In other words, don’t hide from His tender touch because you fear discomfort.

I’ll defer to the “man after God’s own heart” on this one and trust that being searched is of great benefit. Are you willing to as well?

Prayer Moment: God, search me and know me. Test my anxious thoughts. Remove all offensive ways within me. Hold me close so I can release my anxiety and inhale Your presence. God, You know me better than I know myself, so I will trust what You show me and give You continual and full access to me. I want to be known by You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.