This morning, I opened a new book that is designed to prompt you to search your own heart and hear from God at the end of each reading. Today’s reading was about marriage. The prompt at the end was to think of the marriages that have inspired me and that have qualities that I desire in my own. When I closed my eyes and considered this, I realized that my marriage is my favorite.
No, Chris and I do not have the “perfect” marriage, but we do have commitment and each year we have grown in our affection and understanding of each other. Now, we can speak without words. The slightest look from my eye can tell him all he needs to know, and he’s demonstrated this many times. The softest touch while in a crowd, will indicate a whole conversation, without the need of words. He knows me. I know him.
We have fought for our marriage during hard seasons. There are times when I’ve fought harder and there are times when he has, but one thing is true, one of us was always fighting to maintain connection. During seasons when I felt I loved him more, I only became more determined to pour out that love while simultaneously becoming a woman worth loving. Remaining loveable. Refusing bitterness. Holding onto hope.
During season’s when he’s felt he loved me more, I have allowed it. I have learned to be where I am. Meaning, if I am struggling through something, instead of faking it or feeling guilty, I just continue to go to God and ask Him to give me what I’m missing inside. I don’t hide it, I press into it…because we are BOTH worth it.
Marriage is refining, if you let it. Marriage will grow you, if you allow it. Marriage is the easiest and hardest thing we do.
This morning’s reflection led me to one thought, “I’m so happy to love what is mine.” I haven’t always been able to say that, and it hasn’t always been true. But now, after sixteen years of falling for Chris, I can truthfully and honestly say our marriage is the main one I look up to.
Now, when I look in his eyes, I see years of covenant promise kept. I see how we’ve fought for our love and built family together. I see a man who has sacrificed greatly to provide for our family. In my eyes he sees a woman who has purposefully poured into our kids and household, creating a bond forged so soundly that our loyalty and love for one another is what we’re known for. We create family. We chose to love what we’ve been given.
Life is so full of choices. Each one has the potential to become very significant. My choice today is this, to love what I have.
Prayer Moment: God, thank You for my family. Thank You for creating this wonderful life we live. In its imperfection we find growth and commitment. Thank You for knowing the exact recipe to create this. Thank You for making us people who need people. Thank You for giving everyone a need for connection and fellowship. Lead us as we learn how to accept the fellowship we have around us. Lead us further into a heart of gratitude for exactly what You’ve given us. Let my heart never long for another’s marriage over my own. Keep me steady. Keep our eyes fixed on You and each other. Bless our union. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
365 Days in the Presence 