The Fountain Day 35: Stirred

I have been feeling so stirred.  For months, maybe even almost a year, God has been more deeply stirring me.   My quiet times have always been a dynamic place of change and growth for me, but for years, church had become something we did, not something that changed and transformed us too.  The home church moments we have now, are so exciting and transforming, not only myself, but my husband and children as well.  Our discussions of scripture are deep, and we all press daily into His Spirit, and that has been completely transforming.  Now that we’ve heard the Lord’s command to step back and refocus on family, there’s also been a refocus on the Spirit.  I’ve had quiet time every day for many, many years…but for a year-long season there was so much busyness and doing, that I was struggling.  I kept asking God why I was having trouble, since I felt like I was where He wanted me to be and doing what I thought He wanted me to do, but the answer was quiet.  He kept letting me know He was near, but the feeling of distance was more than I could tolerate.  Over many seasons, I have grown to be completely dependent on Him.  Craving His Presence.  Needing His voice and closeness.  I’m not ashamed of that.  If I don’t hear Him speak to me every day, then I won’t rest until I do.

Then I remembered, there was a specific moment in prayer with Him when I made a decision.  I wasn’t sure if it was the right decision, so I was basically testing it out and asked God to very clearly let me know if it was the wrong choice.  Oh friend, He definitely did. 

In a matter of months, He removed me from everything I had committed to that was not for me.  At the time it was painful, but on this side of it all…I couldn’t be more grateful.  Now I hear Him more clearly than ever.  My prophetic ear feels like it has been cleaned and I hear and see at a far deeper intensity.  Now, as I look back on things, I realize, the choice I’d made was for another purpose, it was a great time for God to reveal to me that He could be trusted to guard me from wrong alignment.  This is priceless.

Now I am stirred with a deeper intensity.  I have asked Him to move into deeper places within me, and in turn to allow me into deeper places within Him.  He is doing just that.  He is my everything. 

I literally go to bed every night, looking forward to waking up with Him in the morning.  That’s our time.  Many evenings around 8pm, I begin to feel a great excitement welling up within me.  The excitement of expectation; the expectation of seeing Him in the morning. 

I know He’s with me all the time.  We talk all throughout every day, but the mornings are when it’s quiet.  The mornings are when we are alone.  I am like a bride, who craves alone time with her Bridegroom. 

Stir me deeper, my King.  Come away with me.  Let’s tarry in the morning and gaze with love upon one another.  I’ve known no other like You.  My King.  My Prize.  My greatest Love.  You are worthy of it all.  I give my whole self to You.  With abandon I spend my life with You.  Draw me closer still.  Draw me into the bosom of heaven and dwell with me there.  Lean in and kiss my heart with Your words of truth.  Reveal to me Your secrets.  I belong to You.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Let him lead me to the banquet hall and let his banner over me be love.  Song of Songs 2:4

But You, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One Who lifts my head high.  I call out to the Lord, and He answers me from His holy mountain.  I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord sustains me.   I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side.  Psalm 3:3-6