Recently I had an encounter with the Lord. I was feeling plagued by a list of people who have done me wrong. I have repeatedly forgiven them and kept asking God why I couldn’t stop thinking about them.
Then, as I prayed over them again…forgiving and blessing them…I told the Lord, yes, I confess that these people actually owe me an apology, but none of those who’ve wronged me like this have ever apologized. I know I don’t deserve anything really…God vindicates…God judges…Jesus was accused over and over again with no reprieve, so who am I to expect apology…yet I was just being real with God. I was being honest.
Then, I heard the portion of the Lord’s prayer that says this…
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. Matthew 6:12
I didn’t get it at the time, but just now as I sat down to write…the words came back to my mind.
Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors…
Then like a flash, God reminded me of the people I’d been praying about. They are my debtors. They owe me an apology and in some cases much more…
Today God asked me to not only forgive them, but to realize that they are my debtors. He asked me to lay down a debt owed to me. He validated my feelings in saying that. Do you realize that? It is quite something when God speaks the truth to you, while also validating the feelings you have had. He is compassionate. He knows I’ve been hurt, and though the appropriate response is to extend forgiveness, it doesn’t do any good to pretend that I don’t hurt. He knows our hurts. He holds all our tears in His hand.
Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors…
Lord, help me to truly forgive all who have trespassed against me. Help me to extend to them the grace You’ve extended to me. I know I have to forgive if I too want to receive forgiveness from You.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15
You see, forgiving others is more for ourselves than for them. I need forgiveness from God for many things…I don’t want to do anything to prevent that from pouring over me.
Oh, how I need Jesus.
God, I forgive every person who is in debt to me. I forgive their debt completely and release Your blessing over them. Forgive them, Lord. Forgive me for holding onto resentment. I know I am in just as much need of forgiveness as they are. Lead me in the righteous way, O Lord. Mature me and make me whole. I belong to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
365 Days in the Presence 