There’s something I’ve observed in all married couples that I know. Those who have been married a long time and are still noticeably in love have one thing in common…they have made a constant decision to swim under the wall of pride for the sake of staying connected in relationship. That’s how I saw it this morning, as I was on the treadmill before the sun rose. The Lord’s presence was all around me and I was crying because of it. His hand was teaching me.
During the 18 years that Chris and I have been married, I am 100 percent certain that the main reason we have remained in a position of increasing love and respect, is because of all the times one or both of us chose to cross over to the other.
Pride, like a barrier wall, stands between people. In marriage it stands as a guard between one heart and another. In everyday life, it can stand as a guardian wall around a single person. Pride is ugly. It is a liar. It is a thief. I hate pride.
In marriage, it robs if we aren’t careful.
But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6
When I see newly married couples or almost married couples, I can most often see where the pride is and I know the secret, God places us in marriage as a refining. Sure, it’s full of pleasure, joy, and fulfillment, but it’s also an invitation to grow. I believe that’s why the divorce rate is so high…people by and large have become selfish and unwilling to face the hard stuff. Marriage is hard. Marriage is worth it though.
This morning, as I completed my exercise and headed into the shower, I made a conscious decision. That decision was that I would again, swim under the wall of pride and reach out to my husband even though we’d irritated each other the night before.
It’s not lost on me that God showed me pride in a water setting and going low was the only way through…humility brings us low in the best way. I’m not saying I loved going low this morning, or even that I did it flawlessly. But I know God saw my effort and He will bless even the most meager effort.
“What’s on the other side of pride?” This is the question I asked God this morning…and He showed me it was everything good. No good thing stands with pride. All good things are free of it.
What’s on the other side of pride? Fullness in life.
May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ. 2 Thessalonians 3:5