The Fountain Day 352: Out loud

There are moments when God leads us right into the release that we are searching for, yet He does it in a very unexpected way.  I had one such moment last week.

I had been feeling “off”. 

For days I had felt a little sad and just couldn’t shake the feeling of being stuck where we are in our family’s moving process…basically, I was facing a lot of feelings of frustration.  I grabbed my Bible one morning as I prepared for my daily reading, and I felt a Holy Spirit nudge to read scripture out loud.  I complied.  After one or two words, I found myself sobbing.  I mean really sobbing.  As if a dam had broken in my heart, all the frustration and pain of the last several years came tumbling out.  I thought of different people and situations of pain from years past, and the grief came freely flowing.  It was a huge release. 

As most of you know, I read the Bible in a year…so I never know what scripture I’ll be reading each day…and this particular day, as I began to read aloud, it was Joel 1…about the many different kinds of locusts and how they had devoured everything.

That was not a coincidence. 

I could feel the devastation of the last few years…the first devouring happened in 2016.  Then things turned around and we felt we were finding our way out…then 2019 came with a striking vengeance to lay waste to what was left.  Wave after wave of locusts have come.  There is no denying it.  I was still deep in this release of sorrow when Chris called me, and I just couldn’t stop the crying.  Our entire conversation was accompanied by moments of me breaking down sobbing, and saying, “I don’t know what’s happening, but I can’t stop crying.”  Chris met me with enormous kindness.  It was actually very beautiful. 

The release I needed came.  Unexpectedly.  Provoked only by reading the Word of God aloud. 

God’s mercy is amazing to me.  He never loses His ability to “wow” me with His relevance.  He sets me up to receive healing.  He sets me up for blessing.  He is so loving.

When we respond to the slightest nudge from Holy Spirit, we will find freedom we never imagined.  That’s the crux of this story…obedience.  I felt the nudge…and I didn’t even think about it…I just obeyed. 

Oh, that I would be so obedient every day and in every way. 

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.  Galatians 5:25

At the end of this release of sorrow, I felt spent.  Then the joy came.  Pure and glorious joy.  Oh, God, Your mercy is so unending.  Your love is more than I could ever fully imagine.  I am struck by severe gratitude.  Thank You.

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again:  Rejoice!  Philippians 4:4