I was contemplating trust today.
What is it that causes me to trust? How do I hold onto trusting a person, knowing they can and likely will disappoint me at some point?
I was considering my husband and my children and wondering how to trust them better. What does it look like to trust? How do I know the difference between trusting and deciding to not notice wrongdoings? How do you trust through hurt? What is it that happens in the moments when I’ve been walking in trust, then suddenly find myself holding it back?
These are all balances I’ve been learning for years. Longing to truly know what trust looks like. Wanting to truly experience the freedom found in simply trusting.
Then God reminded me of something. I saw it in my mind, as clear as day.
I saw Chris, and then I saw this presence in and around him. Suddenly, when I was looking at him, I saw him through the presence surrounding and inside of him. God spoke to me, “You don’t trust a person, you trust Me inside of them. When you keep focused on trusting Me in them, then you can trust that I will convict them, lead them, mold them. And all the while, you know you can always trust that I am protecting you…so you can trust My process in other’s lives. If you know that I’m always working within you, then you also know I’m consistently working in others.
I remembered that the times I have felt at peace with trusting are the times when I’ve been acutely aware of God’s hand and sovereignty moving in others.
He’s right, obviously. I have never trusted Chris; I’ve trusted Christ in him. I don’t trust my kids; I trust Holy Spirit in them.
There is another obstacle to trust though. I’ve seen it over and over, in myself and as I’ve observed others. This obstacle is the perception of and desire for justice.
When we decide that we must have justice, then we often begin to walk outside of trust and into control. Changing dance partners with Christ and twirling our way toward the enemy. It’s a stark contrast between the two.
Trust offers freedom. Freedom to change. Freedom to make mistakes and receive forgiveness. Freedom to grow and be changed. Freedom is a necessary component of growth.
We know these are godly attributes, based on the scripture we read earlier this year, that included…
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. (2 Cor. 3:17b)
Control demands obedience, not to Christ, but to you. Control is the complete opposite of trust. Control says, “My way is the only way.” But we know, His way is the only way. Control cuts off all growth because there is no room for change, mistakes, and forgiveness…you see? It’s quite literally the antithesis of trust. It’s pharisaical in nature.
Consider these portions of Matthew 23, but I also encourage you to read the entire passage, on your own time.
Then Jesus said to the crowds and to His disciples, “The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. So, practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden. Everything they do is for show. Matthew 23:1-5a
“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people’s faces. You won’t go in yourselves, and you don’t let others enter either. Matthew 23:13-14
We don’t want to hold others to a standard that we aren’t able to keep, do we? Yet, we often do just that. When we withhold trust and extend a controlling hand, we are telling others, “You are incapable of being trusted. Look to me, I’m the standard.” But nothing could be further from the truth.
Today, I encourage you to, first, look at your closest relationships. Your spouse and children. Ask yourself this, “Do I think I am the only one capable of being trusted?” Do you treat your family as if they are capable individuals? Do you treat your spouse the same way you treat your children, or do you allow your spouse to be an adult? If you have teen or adult children, do you still treat them as if they are toddlers?
If we want to have healthy relationships with others, then at some point, we must let them grow. We must begin to trust. Trust God to refine, correct, direct, grow, and mature them.
Is there someone in your home that you’re struggling with? You want them to mature and behave in an adult way, yet they aren’t? I encourage you to first look at yourself. Are you allowing them space to fail? Space to make good or bad choices? Are you stepping in every time they have even a little discomfort? In your desire to be their safety net, have you instead become a hindrance to their growth?
These are hard things to look at, but they are worth it.
Today is a great day to take step one toward trusting God in ALL things.
365 Days in the Presence 