We have no right to expect a life free from suffering.
Yes, I know this is another unpopular topic. But as we walk through this year of resurrection, my heart’s desire is that we would be resurrected in truth, not lies.
The lie of the earth is that we deserve a trouble-free life. We are told that if something creates difficulty or trouble in our lives, then it’s not from God. We create convenience for everything. And it has debilitated us.
Friend, convenience isn’t always a gift.
It seems that I’ve often been drawn to ways that are inconvenient, therefore unappealing, to most people. I can’t fully explain why I do the things I do, but God always uses it to speak deeper things to me. I thoroughly enjoy the blessings and challenges of homeschooling my children. He teaches me as I knead dough to make sourdough bread. As I nursed my babies for the first year of their lives, I met with God in the stillness that was required. And then, there was childbirth…
I used a midwife during all my births and chose homebirth situations. I never knew why I’d chosen this, but even as a teenager, I would always say that if I had kids, I wanted to use a midwife. It wasn’t popular then. I didn’t know anyone who had done it. I had no reason to even desire it, but it was a steady desire in my heart.
When I was in labor with my third child, I had a moment that would change my life.
I was at home and labor had become a long endeavor. Truth be told, none of my labors were short. In fact, each one was longer than the one previous. They became a lesson in endurance.
At the point of the encounter that I’m about to describe, I’d been in labor for almost 24 hours. I was exhausted. I was in consistent pain. I was also in disbelief that it was taking as long as it was. I went to use the restroom alone and as I sat, I talked to God. I told Him how tired I was. I told Him how bad the pain was, and that I wasn’t sure I could do this.
Then suddenly, I saw Jesus next to me. He was on the cross looking at me, and He said, “I understand”. Immediately, I felt resolve rise within me and I knew I would continue.
Then the Lord spoke again, “These labors are preparing you for your future.”
I will not lie to you, I said, “What the heck is my future going to look like, if that’s the case?!” But at the same time, I had a steadiness fall upon me. I realized it was God’s grace over my life that had led me to the decision to have home births, and to walk through these times of pain by drawing closer to Him and learning how to lean into pain instead of running away from it.
There’s the big lesson…we must learn how to lean into our suffering and find peace in the midst. This is where we are matured. Refined. Sanctified.
While in labor, I learned to take my thoughts captive. While in labor, I learned how to sit into the pain when my body wanted to run away. While in labor, I met Jesus in a way I’d never met Him before…in a shared suffering that led to life.
Jesus’ suffering led to our eternal life.
Let that sink in. His suffering is just as important to recognize, as His resurrection. You can’t have a resurrection until a death has occurred.
In this life, we will face suffering. The only difference between us is what we do when the suffering comes. Do we turn away from God and blame Him. Do we stop believing He exists because we suffer. Or do we learn how to experience the suffering and find Him in it…find His comfort…find His peace…find His grace…find His mercy.
My doula always told me, “When the contractions come, don’t run from them. Relax into them and let them do their work. Then when it’s over, let it go, thank God for the work it did, and know that you’ll never have that one again.”
Life is like this.
Things happen and we choose how we respond. We are best served when we experience what’s happening, letting God do the work He’s trying to do, and then thank Him that we’ll never have that contraction again.
“I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
365 Days in the Presence 