This morning and last night, I spent some really good time with God. He kept speaking to me, and I could feel His soft presence covering my every breath. It was glorious. Sacred.
But when it was time to go live normal life, I was feeling irritated. How can this be?!
Since what I was feeling after my secret time with God was so incongruent with the irritation I now felt, I came back and sat down to sort it out. I said, “God, I give You all this frustration and irritation. I don’t know why I’m experiencing it.”
Immediately, I heard, “Irritation begins, where trust ends.”
Oh Mylanta.
What?!
The sounds of truth are always so clear and crisp. Sometimes it feels like you’re looking straight into the sun, and you need to shield your eyes.
I become irritated when I stop trusting God and His process.
Guess what…He can do things on His own. He doesn’t actually NEED me. He invites me.
When you are invited to something, you don’t take charge. You accompany. When you are invited, you naturally assume the person inviting you has the 411. So, they don’t need you to take the lead. So, why do I always try this with God? It’s simple. Trust.
Learning to trust is a long process, at least for me it is.
Partly because I often don’t realize that I am not trusting. Many times, it’s been so engrained within me, that fear is a way of life. But now I resist it constantly. It’s a matter of weeding through my thoughts. I am in a consistent place where I am listening to my thoughts and discerning the good from the unnecessary.
The thought patterns developed in our youth can take time to untangle.
We truly benefit from learning to resist. Resist staying stuck in the mindset of fear, limitation, defeat, etc. Fear is causing resistance in me, so I choose to resist it instead.
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn, and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:7-10
365 Days in the Presence 