As I’ve been writing devotionals this year, God has drawn me out for walks almost every day.
In the past, for many years, I walked every single day. Then a year ago, I felt led to the gym for something new…weights. That was an unexpected nudge that I felt, but when I made that change, I completely forsook walking even though I felt like I should continue doing it. I was often just tired or busy and couldn’t quite maneuver my day to hold that additional activity. Then a couple of months ago, He told me to begin walking again…but at first, I was distracted from it because I loved lifting weights so much.
Then circumstances forced me back into the habit of walking. God always has a way of boxing me in and having me do the things He desires for me to do. For that, I am eternally grateful. I also couldn’t be more grateful for the way God always gives me advance warning and an opportunity to make changes on a different timetable if I will just listen and obey.
That’s the key…to listen and obey.
I honestly can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened, but because of doubt or fear or stubbornness, don’t fully obey immediately. I am so sorry for those times. But all I can do is repent and do better next time.
God has sometimes spoken to me in advance about things in the world too. In these moments, I would hear or see something in my spirit, and then either not understand or not like what I saw…so I avoided it.
I regret those times too. But by the grace of God, He keeps allowing me the opportunity to respond differently. Communicating with God is so amazing…sometimes inconceivable, and at times feels overwhelming. But I welcome it.
I hope that one day I will hear, know, and obey every time. Until that day, I’ll just continue to repent when I get it wrong and try again.
It’s that simple.
I feel like someone reading this devotional has had moments like I’ve had, and instead of receiving God’s grace for that mistake, you’ve decided that you’ll never be able to hear again. Friend, that’s not God. He’s a loving Father. A loving Father teaches, instructs, allows for mistakes, and never draws away because of your failures. It’s in our failures that He draws closer.
No, it’s not the only time He draws closer, but it is one of the times. It has taken me years and years to be able to comprehend that. To realize that God reaches for me in my weakness. He stretches toward me in my mistakes. He leans in when I am wrestling.
That’s something I’ve learned from parenting. Both of my boys have had moments when they’ve needed to wrestle with my husband. No, I don’t fully understand it, but I do know that in those moments something wonderful is happening. They are finding out how strong they are, and still knowing that their daddy is stronger. They need to know that he is stronger than they are. It makes them feel safe.
With God it’s similar. We may need to wrestle, but He always lets us know He’s stronger in those moments and then we can rest. What a wonderful God we serve. Wrestling produces strength. God uses our need to struggle with Him, in order to strengthen us. What a beautiful image.
Whether you’re in the wrestling phase or the learning to listen and obey phase, be encouraged. Our strength is borne in those moments. It doesn’t push God away, it draws Him near…as Teacher, Father, Savior…all of the wonderful things that He is for us.
Don’t merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror, and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it- not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it- they will be blessed in what they do. James 1:22-25
365 Days in the Presence 