Do you ever find it difficult to trust others? Have you been hurt by someone’s lying and then forced to move forward while the trust is fractured or broken?
These are difficult things to do.
In my most intimate relationships I’ve always struggled with what it means to trust versus what it means to be scared to confront. Many times, in many different relationships, I’ve felt voiceless because my fear of confrontation would choke out all my desire to communicate. But that’s not healthy and it’s also not fair to them or me. I’ve learned the hard way that no matter how hard I try to manage a relationship…it won’t work if I’m suppressing all my thoughts and emotions.
Relationships are meant to be a two-way street. Give and take. If a relationship isn’t strong enough to withstand confrontation, then is it really a relationship at all?
They say that trust is earned, but I say that trust belongs to God alone.
I tried to live the “trust is earned” way for a long time, but I realized that people are all naturally untrustworthy to a degree. It’s part of the sin nature. People will let you down. They’ll sometimes do unexpected things. So, will I. None of us is immune to this.
When I’ve boiled it down, over and over again, throughout my life…I’ve consistently come to the conclusion that God is the only One I need to trust.
Worried about a spouse’s heart? Give them to God and trust Him. Concerned about trusting a child? Sure, set up a few boundaries, but mostly give them to God and trust Him to work it out within them. Struggling with trusting family? Lay it down, forgive, and trust God.
Trust God to love you. Trust God to have your best in mind. Trust Him to do work in someone’s heart.
We can’t do anything to change someone else’s heart…only God can do that.
If you are struggling with trust, I encourage you to ask God for His perspective of the situation. Ask Him to guide and direct your steps within that conflict. Sometimes, hard conversations need to happen, but most often we need to step back and allow Him to move.
One more thing, if a difficult conversation seems to be the only way forward…I encourage you to never begin it while in an emotional place. Pray and fast, if needed. Ask another to partner in prayer with you. Do whatever you need to do before you reach out from a place of internal peace.
There is one thing I know for certain, if I begin a hard conversation from a place of irritation it never ends well. We are called to live in the fruit of the Spirit…which includes self-control. We should eat from that fruit as we proceed with holy caution.
God is a God of self-control.
The problem isn’t usually trusting another, it’s most often not trusting God to have good things stored away for us.
You see, every person is in the midst of process. We bump against each other, in life, all in the midst of this process. God is the only One Who knows exactly where each of us are internally. This is why trusting Him is the only true way forward.
I challenge you to embrace this truth today. If you have a difficult relationship in your life, where it’s hard to trust…then I encourage you to invite God to enter that place and then simply say to Him, “God, I trust You. I believe that You will protect me as You work this out. Please give me wisdom and restraint as I proceed with this person. Please forgive me for anytime I’ve been untrustworthy.” Then watch as He begins to move in, around, and through you. I promise, it’ll be worth it.
My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store My commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying. Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation. Trust in the Lord with all you heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:1-6
365 Days in the Presence 