When I was younger, the church would often showcase people who’ve always lived “holy” lives and didn’t get off track; and they deserved the best because of it. I believed it whole heartedly as a young person. So, I believed that my life would always be difficult because I’d made poor choices. It just seemed like a glaring fact, supported by the “I kissed dating goodbye” community that was so prevalent in my early twenties. That book served to further solidify my second-class station in the group of believers. Additionally, I had interactions with churches that wouldn’t allow a divorced and remarried person to be a pastor. I personally witnessed a really great man be denied a pastorate because he’d previously been married…even though he was now re-married. So, clearly forgiveness wasn’t complete. I’d always have a scarlet letter hanging around my neck. This definitely made it seem that some sins were just too big for God to forgive. It’s such hypocrisy.
Now that I’ve matured in the Lord, I can see these are blatant lies and tricks of the enemy. He loves to contort God’s word and lie to God’s people, so they become toxic toward one another. A perverted sense of righteousness ensues, and everyone feels like crap all the time.
All of this stood in glaring contradiction to a God Who forgiveness stretches as far as the east is from the west. I guess nobody really considered the sea of forgiveness back then.
As I have gotten older, I’ve witnessed many of those people (the ones who never faltered and did it all correctly) be pretty shallow. They seem to struggle with disappointment more than most. They wrestle with forgiveness in a deeper way because they think they deserve the best…I mean, they did earn it…right?.
Then I considered this scripture…
Then Jesus told him this story: “A man loaned money to two people- 500 pieces of silver to one and 50 pieces to the other. But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts. Who do you suppose loved him more after that?” Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he canceled the larger debt.” “That’s right,” Jesus said. Luke 7:41-43
There’s a reason a prostitute washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and expensive perfume. There’s a reason I won’t compromise and attempt to remain so close to God. There’s a reason people give up everything to follow Jesus.
We understand what it is to walk in wickedness and have the Creator of the Universe come and offer His hand to us. For Him to pull us out of that muck and clean us with His forgiveness. We are not less than. We appreciate even more.
If God didn’t want to use the broken, he never would’ve redeemed David and Bathsheba, letting the fruit of their marriage birth the next king…Solomon. If God didn’t use the formerly screwed up as much as the eternally righteous, he’d never have brought Moses back to free His people from Egypt after he’d murdered someone. If God didn’t desire to redeem hearts, He never would’ve met Saul on the road to Damascus and brought forth Paul. God uses the broken.
We don’t receive less.
He desires to use all of us, no matter how we started. We are all valuable to Him. We are all worth it to Him. It’s time to stop pretending any of us is righteous without His covering. Even our best attempts at righteousness are folly to Him. We need Him. He wants us. Now that’s something to be grateful for…deeply grateful.
365 Days in the Presence 