Our family has been going through some growing pains. Some very private things that Chris and I have no control over, except for our reaction to it. One thing I’ve learned over the years is this…these moments, when faced in unity as a couple, create a much deeper bond and affection between us.
The Bible made it clear that as a woman, I am weaker. People don’t like to discuss this and often try to cover it up, but I like to lean into it. What exactly does it mean that I’m the weaker sex?
I used to hate this term, weaker. I scoffed at the idea of it. I hated the word submit and couldn’t imagine that God had decided my life would be subservient to my husband…
I was so deceived by the world. So mistaken. I have asked God to forgive me because I had wrongly accused Him of intentionally mistreating me merely because of my gender.
The truth is that physically I am weaker than Chris. I’m actually glad that I am because, as a man, he is called to be protective over me…not vice versa. I would have far less respect for him if I felt I could physically dominate him. On the contrary, I embrace being protected. It allows me to have a more intimate knowledge of what God does for me. God uses Chris to show me what it feels like to be protected.
God placed within Chris a fiercely protective heart. Everything about him is wired to want to guard and protect, me and our children. Sometimes that protection comes in ways I understand, and sometimes it doesn’t…therefore, in those moments I submit to him in this way…allowing him to fulfill his mandate to love me as Christ loved the church and laid down His life for her.
I can’t even tell you how many times Chris has played the part of the “bad guy” in a situation, allowing me to use him to buffer between me and a decision not to do something. We allow our kids to use him as a “bad guy” …when they need an excuse to not do something. Whether it’s a guy asking our daughter on a date or a friend wanting one of the kids to go to a movie they don’t want to see…they know they can simply say, “My dad doesn’t want me to do that.” And we will stand behind them and support this.
Does this make sense?
Chris is essentially a stronghold for our family. A place we know we can count on. A protection that never leaves. In this way he is absolutely loving me as Christ loved the church. In this way he shows us the heart of our Father God.
So, here we are facing our current growth opportunity, and I noticed immediately that in deed and prayer Chris was going before me to protect my heart. Hearing him do this in prayer took my breath away. It was humbling. It was beautiful. It was true love.
In the midst of struggle, his first thought was to protect me. That makes submitting and being the weaker sex far more beautiful.
On this side of things, I see that most of the time when women balk at being labeled “weaker” and being instructed to submit in all things, it’s because they haven’t seen it working in a godly way. But how will we ever get to see it in a godly way if we never allow God to work that out in our spouse? Everyone must learn.
Over the years, I’ve watched my husband move from a very earthly understanding of submission to this. I’ve also seen him notice that scripture first says, “Submit one to another” …and his mind expanded to understand that we submit to each other in marriage too.
Submitting isn’t a bad word when you partner with Holy Spirit.
I guess the real question is this…do you believe God works ALL things together for your good, or not? Because if He said it, then He had a good plan for it.
On a side note: None of us is to submit to something that is against God. We are not called to submit to a call to sin. In other words, our husbands aren’t allowed to demand we submit to something God calls sin. That should make things easier.
But I digress…the whole point of today was this…
In this season, I have realized that God has given me a stronghold in my husband. A physical manifestation of His protection over me, and I am so very grateful.
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3:7
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church- for we are members of His body. “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery- but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:21-33
365 Days in the Presence 