I listened to an interview the other day. It was Tucker Carlson interviewing Rob Schneider. I didn’t know what to expect in this interview but was immediately humbled and surprised.
Tucker began the interview by diving right into the most difficult topic…apparently, Rob’s oldest daughter had publicly shamed him recently. I had no idea until this interview, but she’d openly rebuffed him, so Tucker gave him a chance to speak to that…and here is what impressed me so much.
He apologized to her for anything he’d done to hurt her and said he loves her. When Tucker pressed him about how it felt to be raked through the coals in this public way, and how he stayed calm in the midst of that, he just again apologized for anything he’s done wrong and said he loves her. He said, “My heart will always be her home. No matter what, she’s always welcome home.”
What a beautiful perspective. I hope that all parents would feel this way. I know many don’t…but as I grow and mature in this road of raising kids, I see that so much of what we do is like this. We raise our kids and show them Who Jesus is, but they must each choose the Christian walk…and we have no say in how that happens or how long it takes.
A child who walks through extra struggles along the way isn’t necessarily a marker of “bad parenting” …although I used to think it was. The older I become and the more I observe others and my own kids, I see that a marker of good parenting is how you walk out whatever choices your kids make along the way.
There are some things that only God can do. There are parts of me that only God can change, so why would my husband and kids be any different?
I have spent a large amount of time reflecting on parents I grew up around and families that I deemed successful and unsuccessful, as a kid…and what I’ve seen is that I largely had it wrong.
There was one family in particular that I believed had the best family. Their kids all towed the line and everything seemed so perfect, but what I see now is that there was very little room for growing and adventure within their family unit because there was a status quo that was required to be followed.
This status quo eliminated the very thing that I thrive under…freedom to think on my own and create and take chances learning something new.
So, the appearance of perfection was actually the absence of freedom.
I’d rather have freedom. I found freedom. I don’t even know how it happened except I wandered so long on my own road that when I fell flat on my face, I looked up and freedom was standing right over me. Jesus. I met Him and learned to recognize His voice…and He transformed the rebellion of my youth into a willingness to hear Him differently than others. He transformed my willfulness into a willingness to explore His Spirit and lead others into deeper places of worship.
It’s wonderful when He takes our brokenness and makes it our freedom, isn’t it?!
So, in an effort to never forget where and from what I’ve come, I remain open hearted to my kids as they work out their own salvation and relationship with Jesus…I carry no shame…I carry the banner of victory.
I know my Father, and He is really good.
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He Who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:3-6
365 Days in the Presence 