I had a dream…again.
This dream, while not going into details, exposed a deep root of the fear of rejection. It was very shocking. I mean, I know I’ve struggled with rejection all my life. I can even tell you when it began. But I didn’t realize it was affecting some of the areas of my life that God showed me this morning, until now.
Rejection is difficult. I know many of us deal with it.
It affects the way we interact with people. What I saw in this dream was that it also affected the way I struggle to let a relationship go when I need to. I knew this was always difficult for me, I just hadn’t realized it was tethered to rejection.
I’ve had relationships…whether friendly, intimate, or work/ministry related…with several key people that were completely toxic. I mean, they were quite obviously not healthy. The people acted in ways that I can’t even express. I knew they weren’t supposed to be in my life because of their struggles, yet it was hard to cut them out. I always felt like I’d be missing out if I walked away.
Now that’s crazy.
I’m being extra vulnerable with you today, but I’m willing to do so if it helps just one of you to begin to see this pattern in your own life. I want us all to be set free, even if it takes a sacrifice of pride on my part.
In college I dated someone that I knew from the start wasn’t good. I was drawn to him though. This morning, God showed me that I chose people like him because they challenged my fear of rejection. In other words, they were “too cool for school” outcasts and I saw the challenge to be accepted by the one who rejected everyone else.
That is crazy too.
I had thought I was just drawn to people who needed help. Me being a fixer back in those days. Now I see it was the spirit of rejection drawing me. Like speaks to like, they say. It’s true. Whether we realize it or not, the spirits we carry draw other spirits like them.
I, for one, no longer want to attract rejection, do you? If so, pray this prayer along with me.
Today I sever, break, and destroy the spirit of rejection. I chop it off at the root and command it to go in Jesus’ name. I thank You, God, for my freedom and that I’m always accepted by You. I love You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will- to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. Ephesians 1:4-5
365 Days in the Presence 