Resurrection Day 347: Control Is Not Love

I see so many people lead their lives with control. They operate in a controlling spirit when interacting with family, friends, business, even church. It’s the opposite of love. It’s showing that they know nothing of love, true love. Control is rooted in fear and as Scripture teaches us, perfect love casts out all fear.
How do you know if you are operating from control?
Think about this…
When someone tells you an idea do you listen or immediately begin to bring up problems with it and “trouble shoot”?
When a loved one is making poor choices do you react in anger and a desire to tell them exactly what they’re doing wrong and should change?
Do you only ever see the problems in a situation and think people can’t solve it unless they involve you or have your input?
These are just a few ways that the controlling spirit can show up.
Perfectionism is another manifestation of control.
The need to control shows an utter lack of faith.
I’m learning some hard lessons right now. Walking out things I’ve never navigated before, but the only way for me to learn these lessons is to live them. I will make some mistakes, yes. But that’s how I’ll learn to do better next time. In the same way, I’m watching my kids grow up into young adults who are making their own choices. I will only frustrate God’s work and delay my kid’s growth if I constantly try to control all they’re doing.
Catch and release.
Parenting is a game of catch and release.
I was gifted children. Not to control them, but to steward them as I daily release them to God. They belong to Him. My future grandchildren also belong to Him. I am even now, preparing my heart to grow in this area. I long to be matured by God. To learn, grow, and then be willing to be a safe place where others are afforded the same. To give them the opportunity to make mistakes and grow.
It’s sometimes confusing. It’s humbling to be sure. But it’s going to be ok.
We need to find the faith to hand the control to God and trust Him with each person’s process.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18