As we walked through the events I wrote of yesterday, there were two moments when I sang. The first happened on Kevin’s last morning. I was driving to the hospital and began praising God and realizing that worshiping Him is a distraction from our grief. It realigns our hearts with heaven and keeps us focused on what is eternal. It is a touchstone for us, as believers. Reminding our eyes to stay locked on God. Then I began to sing a song I wrote a few years ago. It just burst out of me. Unexpectedly.
As tears streamed down my cheeks, I realized it was for Kevin. I didn’t realize it was a perfect song to sing as someone is transitioning into their permanent homecoming.
God told me to go sing it for Kevin. To worship for him. To sing the words he couldn’t sing. To turn our hearts toward heaven, together.
So, I did.
There were only a couple of people in the room, and I asked if I could sing a song for him. He welcomed it.
He cried as I sang…I didn’t know until after, because I’d closed my eyes to quiet my own tears. It took all I had inside to choke out the song despite tears…but after a few words…I commanded my soul to be still and allow God to use my voice to speak to Kevin’s heart.
Calm fell.
The Spirit of God came in the calm.
We knew his journey was almost complete.
Later that day, when we knew it was time to say the final goodbye, Kevin was ready to release this earthly home. As the final meds kicked in, we stood around in reverence. Quiet. Chris softly stroking his head and encouraging him to let go. Telling him he was ok and we wouldn’t leave him.
Chris turns to me, “Lisa, will you sing?”
This is what I was created to do. Worship leaders aren’t for the fog machines and praises of man. No. We stand in the silence and fill it with heaven. We hold hands with the dying and align their hearts with God. We bring comfort to the grieving by turning their eyes toward heaven with a song of worship. Worship leaders were never meant to have all eyes on them. They were meant to become invisible. Covered in the veil of praise. We surrender our voices to be captured by heaven.
This was the most important song I’d ever sung, thus far.
I stood, closed my eyes and sang.
Oh, how I long for heaven. To feel the Father’s firm embrace. To see the gates come open wide, revealing His whole and holy face. To see into the eyes that have seen for all time…the song I wrote, begins.
Today as you walk among the living, I hope you’ll consider the true meaning of worship. The heart of the worshiper. The purpose of your life…and what you hope to find at the end.
In those moments last week, Chris and I found a renewed focus. I hope this consideration grasps you too.
Oh, give thanks to the Lord; call upon His name; make known His deeds among the people! Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; tell of all His wondrous works! Psalm 105:1-2
365 Days in the Presence 