I had a dream…again.

This dream, while not going into details, exposed a deep root of the fear of rejection.  It was very shocking.  I mean, I know I’ve struggled with rejection all my life.  I can even tell you when it began.  But I didn’t realize it was affecting some of the areas of my life that God showed me this morning, until now.

Rejection is difficult.  I know many of us deal with it. 

It affects the way we interact with people.  What I saw in this dream was that it also affected the way I struggle to let a relationship go when I need to.  I knew this was always difficult for me, I just hadn’t realized it was tethered to rejection. 

I’ve had relationships…whether friendly, intimate, or work/ministry related…with several key people that were completely toxic.  I mean, they were quite obviously not healthy.  The people acted in ways that I can’t even express.  I knew they weren’t supposed to be in my life because of their struggles, yet it was hard to cut them out.  I always felt like I’d be missing out if I walked away.

Now that’s crazy.

I’m being extra vulnerable with you today, but I’m willing to do so if it helps just one of you to begin to see this pattern in your own life.  I want us all to be set free, even if it takes a sacrifice of pride on my part.

In college I dated someone that I knew from the start wasn’t good.  I was drawn to him though.  This morning, God showed me that I chose people like him because they challenged my fear of rejection.  In other words, they were “too cool for school” outcasts and I saw the challenge to be accepted by the one who rejected everyone else.

That is crazy too.

I had thought I was just drawn to people who needed help.  Me being a fixer back in those days.  Now I see it was the spirit of rejection drawing me.  Like speaks to like, they say.  It’s true.  Whether we realize it or not, the spirits we carry draw other spirits like them.

I, for one, no longer want to attract rejection, do you?  If so, pray this prayer along with me.

Today I sever, break, and destroy the spirit of rejection.  I chop it off at the root and command it to go in Jesus’ name.  I thank You, God, for my freedom and that I’m always accepted by You.  I love You.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight.  In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will- to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves.  Ephesians 1:4-5

As I was talking to Jesus this morning, I was remembering the dream I’d had of dying.  In the flickering last moments when I knew I was going to see God, I remembered my family.  When I saw my family, I felt immediate worry that I’d not done enough for them yet…and I heard the word “selfish”.  It seemed strange at the time, but today I saw that God was showing me that even though it’s good that I want to be in heaven, it’s not time yet and I can’t be selfish about it.  I have a purpose here on earth and a reason to be alive, so I can’t be selfish and only focused on getting to heaven.  I have to live.  Truly live.

 I heard Him saying, “I want more than warm bodies.  I want you to interact with your life and those around you.  I want you to be present in the life I’ve given you.”

He’s convicting my heart in new places, as of late.  Showing me some of the deeper things He is ready to dig out…but before they can be dug up, I must know they are there.

One area is this…I’ve noticed that I’m deeply skilled in being able to detach.  Meaning, I can remove my emotions from a situation and sit in neutral while I wait for things to become, what I feel, is safe again.  Learned behaviors from childhood are so fascinating to me. 

As a child things were often volatile in our home and to cope this is what I would do.  Find a neutral space in my mind and basically leave the situation without physically leaving, because I wasn’t allowed to physically leave.  Every one of us finds a way to escape bad things, we all just use different methods.  Better to simply face this and grow, rather than remain in dysfunctional adult behavior.

While this neutral state I learned as a child has had some benefit, in that I’m good in intense situations because I can be calm, it’s not good when I use it to simply not deal with something I don’t like.

Many things we view as a problem are actually something that God can use if it’s directed properly.

Like my ability to remain calm.  That’s a very good thing.  It’s helped me in many situations, whether at home with my kids or in public when something intense happens.  What I thought was just a coping mechanism was actually a God given ability to hold onto peace.  Therefore, it makes me very resilient.

One of my children has an extremely stubborn streak and while the world sees it as a hindrance, I have always known that God put in inside that child and is waiting for them to surrender it to Him.  I so look forward to that day.  It will be a mighty weapon of God!

Do you have any characteristics like this?

Things that the world may use to label you mentally challenged in some way, but they’re actually just God given characteristics that haven’t been surrendered to God for His use?

Today I challenge you to search out your heart in this way.  Ask God if you are hiding a Godly gifting under a worldly label.  If you are, then ask Him to cultivate it within you and direct it in the proper way.  You won’t regret it.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving.  Colossians 3:23-24

The older I become the more I am aware that everything is spiritual in nature.  How can we do anything separate from the spiritual.  We are a spirit.  We have a body and soul…but we are a spirit. 

Therefore, we are spiritual beings…operating in the spirit at all times.  Our spirit is connected to everything we do.

Let’s read together…

Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins.  You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil- the commander of the powers in the unseen world.  He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God.  All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature.  By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else.  But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead.  (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)  Ephesians 2:1-5

Before we were saved, we obeyed the devil.  Now we obey God.

This is the critical difference between us and the world.  It’s truly that simple.  It’s really that easy.

We have a really bad habit of overcomplicating things.  The way we view people is often overcomplicated.  This scripture makes it clear that once we were all dead because of disobedience and sin.  Only because of Jesus are we alive now.  We all once obeyed the devil.  Now we obey God.  I repeat myself because I don’t think we’re honest about the simplicity of this.

When we can’t view this in simple black and white terms then we can’t reconcile with the evil that many men.  Further, if we aren’t careful, we can become sympathetic to that evil…instead of standing for what’s good.

God is good. 

Choices are much simpler when we view the world through the lens of goodness.

For instance, believers should have no decision to make when it comes to abortion.  Whether it’s simply an unplanned pregnancy or a rape…if the fruit of the encounter produces a life…we have no right to end it.  None.

Full stop.

You don’t right a sin by committing another sin.

The spiritual battle is clear.  The cost is life or death…for the next generation especially.  We owe it to them to stand and fight.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

There is something I have learned over many years, and different circumstances.  We can find joy and fulfillment in the midst of any season.  There has never been a season of my life where I couldn’t find peace and joy, if I tried.  I believe it’s part of the “we are more than conquerors” idea that we read about in Scripture.

We, as believers, sons and daughters of God can find Him in all things.

I’ve met many people who seem determined to be miserable and to find misery in any circumstance…even a blessing.  Avoid them like the plague.  Don’t let their defeat and victim mentality bleed over onto you.  At all cost, we must remain separate from that.

To live as a victim is to live a lie.

And as discussed frequently before, we know who the father of lies is…

Here is the truth…God is love.  In Him we find joy overflowing.  Peace overflowing.  Abundance at every juncture.  He is our Father. 

He reminded me of this promise earlier today…

Search the book of the Lord and see what He will do.  Not one of these birds and animals will be missing, and none will lack a mate, for the Lord has promised this, His Spirit will make it all come true.  He has surveyed and divided the land and deeded it over to those creatures.  They will possess it forever, from generation to generation.  Even the wilderness and desert will be glad in those days.  The wasteland will rejoice and blossom with spring crocuses.  Yes, there will be an abundance of flowers and singing and joy!  The deserts will become as green as the mountains of Lebanon, as lovely as Mount Carmel or the plain of Sharon.  There the Lord will display His glory, the splendor of our God.  With this news, strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees.  Say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies.  He is coming to save you.”  And when He comes, He will open the eyes of the blind and unplug the ears of the deaf.  The lame will leap like a deer, and those who cannot speak will sing for joy!  Springs will gush forth in the wilderness, and streams will water the wasteland.  The parched ground will become a pool, and spring of water will satisfy the thirsty land.  Marsh grass and reeds and rushes will flourish where desert jackals once lived.  And a great road will go through that once deserted land.  It will be named the Highway of Holiness.  Evil minded people will never travel on it.  It will be only for those who walk in God’s ways; fools will never walk there.  Lions will not lurk along its course, nor any other ferocious beasts.  There will be no other dangers.  Only the redeemed will walk on it.  Those who have been ransomed by the Lord will return.  They will enter Jerusalem singing, crowned with everlasting joy.  Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be filled with joy and gladness.  Isaiah 34:16-17, 35:1-10

Today I encourage you to rest upon His promises.  Remember and do not be afraid.  We will see His promises!

Dress a lie in the finest velvet or satin and it still dances of falsehood.  Adorn it with the finest jewels and it still comes in like a pig, rooting in the mud.  A lie doesn’t become true because many are deceived by it. 

A lie is a lie. 

A lie can gnash its teeth but can never bite because those teeth are found to be dull.  The king of lies has no real power.  All surrounding him is a lie.  His supposed authority is a lie.  Jesus came and conquered death, returning the keys to the sons and daughters of Adam.

This topic cannot rest because the banter and parading of the lies has only increased and it’s through repetition that the enemy is attempting to tilt the ship to the point of submersion.   We can’t stop speaking truth.  Reminding ourselves what is and what isn’t.

A great lie of today is that we are losing this battle.  That we are few in number.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  We are many…the enemy knows it…he is trying to deceive us into giving up.

Another thing I know for certain…one thing the enemy is desperate for us to not see…is that the Lord is stirring.

This Scripture from days of old shouted to my spirit like a bullhorn this morning.  It shouts of victory.  It shouts of promise and hope.  It shouts as a reminder of what we know God can do.  Our Savior always desires to save.  It’s in His name. 

Our Savior always desires to save.

But the Lord says: “Now I will stand up.  Now I will show My power and might.  You Assyrians produce nothing but dry grass and stubble.  Your own breath will turn to fire and consume you.  Your people will be burned up completely, like thornbushes cut down and tossed in a fire.  Listen to what I have done, you nations far away!  And you that are near, acknowledge My might!”  The sinners in Jerusalem shake with fear.  Terror seizes the godless.  “Who can live with this devouring fire?” they cry.  “Who can survive all-consuming fire?”  Those who are honest and fair, who refuse to profit by fraud, who stay far away from bribes, who refuse to listen to those who plot murder, who shut their eyes to all enticement to do wrong- these are the ones who will dwell on high.  The rocks of the mountains will be their fortress.  Food will be supplied to the, and they will have water in abundance.  Your eyes will see the king in all his splendor, and you will see a land that stretches into the distance.  You will think back to this time of terror, asking, “Where are the Assyrian officers who counted our towers?  Where are the bookkeepers who recorded the plunder taken from our fallen city?”  You will no longer see these fierce, violent people with their strange, unknown language.  Instead, you will see Zion as a place of holy festivals.  You will see Jerusalem, a city quiet and secure.  It will be like a tent whose ropes are taut and whose stakes are firmly fixed.  The Lord will be our Mighty One.  He will be like a wide river of protection that no enemy can cross, that no enemy ship can sail upon.  For the Lord is our Judge, our Lawgiver, and our King.  He will care for us and save us.  The enemies’ sails hang loose on broken masts with useless tackle.  Their treasure will be divided by the people of God.  Even the lame will take their share!  Isaiah 33:10-23

Be ready to receive the plunder of the wicked.  It’s a promise we have in Scripture, more than once.  He lays up the wealth of the wicked, for the righteous. 

We are coming into a season of receiving. 

Be ready.

It seems the world is waiting with bated breath.  This season is strange.  Stranger than any we have ever known.  The whole earth is in a state of unrest and apprehension.  But we must remember the world was spinning long before any of us was alive.  God was the only One there from the beginning.

He wrote the Book.

Remember, He wrote the ending before the beginning began.

What is the Truth?

We hear supposed truth tellers screaming at us from every angle.  We hear supposed truth from corrupt pulpits.  We see supposed truth from Christian leaders we once revered.  We watch the supposed truthful endorsing this and that and the other thing.  Our news hasn’t been news for a long time, rather it’s a mouthpiece of the wicked bent on deception. 

Be careful little eyes what you see.  Be careful little ears what you hear.  These words have never felt so true.  we can’t trust what we are being shown…instead, as a pilot must learn to navigate without seeing outside and only by using his instruments…we too must learn to navigate strictly by the wisdom Holy Spirit imparts within each one of us.

I was asking God why our family is still in such an island state right now.  Alone.  Very little outside community.  It’s so strange and uncomfortable, at times.  He reminded me, again, that He’s training us to know how to navigate life without external influence…so we can teach others the same thing…because one day that could be the case.

We’re training up our children to have solid roots in God so that they won’t fall in times of deception and trouble.  So they will be rooted and grounded in love and able to weather any storm.

Would you be able to stay firmly rooted in God if you were all alone?  Is your walk with Jesus dependent upon others or is it wholly dependent upon Him?  We must have established relationships with Him.   Each one of us. 

Think of the Holocaust.  They were in a desperate place.  Alone.  Their walk with God was all they had to help them endure. 

We must have this too.

Scripture is clear that many will fall away in the end.  I don’t want to be one of them…I don’t want you to be either.  The only way to ensure our ability to stand is to become solid now, before the true storm comes. 

Rooted and grounded.  Our lives depend upon it.  I encourage each of you to spend time with God asking Him about these things.  Lean into His heart for you.  Learn to be led by Him alone.  Grow in your ability to discern His voice and promptings.  He speaks in many different ways; we are wise to learn them all. 

“The God Who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands.  And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything.  Rather, He Himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else.  From one man He made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.  God did this so that they would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from any one of us.  ‘For in Him we live and move and have our being.’  As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are His offspring.’  “Therefore, since we are God’s offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone- an image made by human design and skill.  In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now He commands all people everywhere to repent.  For He has set a day when He will judge the world with justice by the man He has appointed.  He has given proof of this to everyone by raising Him from the dead.”  Acts 17:24-31

My family surprised me with a weekend getaway for my birthday earlier this month.  It was so much fun.  They planned the trip and then about a week or two before, they told me about it so I could work out final details. 

I was shocked when I discovered they’d been consorting.  I was also humbled by it…but also, I felt the weight of worrying about money.

I hate worrying about money.

I am in a long-lesson season of learning how to really be at peace with our financial situation, no matter what.

We’ve had such a long road with these lessons as a married couple and as a family.

But it’s been so good.

I wouldn’t change it for a thing, at this point.

The gains far outweigh the sacrifices.

I don’t really know anyone, firsthand, that lives at peace with finances.  Not one.  But I’m determined to allow God to root us in these lessons and hopefully lead our children toward far more freedom in this than we had to start out with…I want to leave a legacy of allowing our security to come from God.  Whether relational, financial, or otherwise.

God is everything.

Our Source.

Our Creator.

Our Father.

And as such, we can trust Him even while enduring hard lessons. 

This birthday was a lesson.

I had to let go and invite God to cover everything my family had on their hearts to do.  My one takeaway is it was totally worth it.  I laid aside all the concern and just lived.

This birthday ended up being the best one I’ve ever had.  That was partly due to the fact that my family thought about it and decided to bless me and partly due to me allowing God to do the same.

Again, we choose whether to be blessed or not.  This theme keeps creeping back into devotionals, so I know He’s really trying to get the point across.

We have to be willing to let go.  Cease control.  Let God rule and reign in our lives.

But He gives us more grace.  That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”  Submit Yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Come near to God and He will come near to you.  Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  Grieve, mourn and wail.  Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.  James 4:6-10

I’ve noticed that our world is full of those described in the New Testament…lovers of themselves.  It’s a pervasive quality among every person.  It’s twisted our ability to see clearly.  Even our preachers often preach from a self-love perspective.  It’s crazy.  We must actively fight against it to break free. 

We as fallen humans are naturally selfish…you’ll never convince me otherwise. 

Here’s what I’ve learned…my life stinks when it’s all about me…it’s full when it’s about our family as a whole. 

Selfishness breeds discontent.

Faking generosity and grace as a mask for desiring to control everything is so detrimental to our relationships. 

The best way to live life is to let it go.  Meaning, let God take the wheel and resist the urge to get involved in things that are not to be our concern.

Just last weekend, something happened, and I took it to Chris because I knew he was the one who should deal with it.  After telling him what was happening, I had a choice, demand to know how he was planning to deal with it or give it to God and trust.  I chose to trust.  It was a deliberate choice and carried intentional action on my part…staying out of something that was none of my business.  And guess what?  It worked itself out perfectly.  Chris didn’t need me to tell him what to do.  He needed freedom to be a man and take charge without my interference.

Is this possibly hitting a nerve?

There have been times in my life when it would’ve.  Now I’m desperate to lay low.  Stay out of God’s way.

I’ve seen too many instances in my life and the lives I observe around me, when people just cannot seem to get themselves out of God’s way and things get messy and prolonged and damage relationships they have. 

That’s a price I’m unwilling to pay.

When we want to control everything, we are essentially saying, “It’s all about me”.  This is 100% true.

Having a controlling nature is exhausting to everyone around you.  It’s completely self-centered and prideful…and often masquerades as being helpful and gracious toward others.

We should often examine ourselves.  Our hearts are deceptive.  It’s only through allowing God unfettered access and consistently checking in with Him that we can learn to live free…and let our lives be all about Him and not all about us.

Today I challenge you to be honest with yourself.  Whenever a circumstance happens, are you compelled to let everyone know the “right” way to handle it?  Are you compelled to know absolutely everything about everything and everyone?  These are just two of the indicators…but let’s start there.

If these describe you, I truly encourage you to invite the Lord to speak to you about what it is that you fear.  Why do you feel the need to know everything?  Why do you feel that people can’t handle things without your input?

Ask honestly and then allow God to pour His truth over your heart.  Today is a brand new day.  A great day to begin again.

Then He said to them all: “Whoever wants to be My disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow Me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.  Luke 9:23-24

Do you allow others to love you?

Before you answer to quickly, think about it as I ask you a few questions.

When someone tries to do something nice for you do you receive it or push it away by saying, “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” or “I can do it.”?

When someone compliments you do you receive it or refuse it?

When someone you’ve wanted love from for a long time, like a spouse or parent, etc., begins to do something nice for you do you receive it, or do you feel suspicious or angry and bark at them and push them away?

Do you feel guilty when something nice or good happens to you, or is offered to you?

The thing I’ve observed in others, and have been convicted of in myself, is that often we push away the love we say we desire.

Let that sit on your heart for a minute. 

Think about it and be honest…don’t just jump to denial.

Is this true?

Are you able to receive love from others?  And let me ask another question.  If you struggle to receive love from people, how do you think you are able to truly receive it from God?

I know plenty of people who say, I know God loves me.  Or of course I can receive God’s love, I just don’t trust other people.

That’s a lie.

If we are unable to receive love from others, then we undoubtedly have hindrances within us from receiving the fullness of God’s love for us.

It’s just a fact.

It’s in knowing and acknowledging God’s all sufficient love for us that we become capable of receiving love from others. 

If you’re internally arguing with me over this…think about it a minute longer.

I cannot tell you how often I’ve heard an obviously fearful and bitter person tell me that they trust God and know He loves them.  That doesn’t make sense.  It’s upon the foundation of His love that we build trust and forgiveness…and those things result in the ability to give and receive love to others. 

Does this make sense?

You can’t give what you don’t have. 

We don’t need to trust others to receive their love…we only need to trust God…and humble ourselves.

And suddenly we’ve landed on the biggest problem in all of this…pride.

It’s our pride that stands between us and receiving from others.  It’s a false humility that cannot take a compliment.  It’s a stark pride that won’t take gifts and kind gestures from others.  It’s false martyrdom to stand in opposition to receiving good things because you “don’t need them.”

We must wake up!

Wake up and receive the fullness and the goodness of God as He uses other people to distribute it to us.

Won’t you try to grow in this today?  I’ll be trying to grow in it right alongside you.

If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.  And so, we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.  This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.  1 John 4:16-17

I woke this morning and fear was trying to grip me.  It came from nowhere and had no basis…but still it was lingering over me as I was coming out of sleep.  I began to speak truth and faith over the fear, yet it still lingered. 

Then I saw what looked like a fragrance coming off of the fear.  Like a little cloud of fear.  It was putrid and heavy.  I asked God to come and take it off and replace it with faith.  Then I saw the cloud become light and fluffy.  The aroma of faith traveled directly to heaven…I could see it rising up. 

We attract things with whatever fragrance we are emitting. 

We know this is true.  We see it in daily life all the time.  You come closer to a pleasing aroma and only something else putrid would gravitate toward an offensive smell.

Like speaks to like.

If we desire to walk in faith and be surrounded by our faithful people, then we must learn to carry the fragrance of faith.

In the vision I had this morning, I saw the heavy fragrance of fear transform into the lightness of faith.  It was immediate.  The pressure on my chest lifted.  My mind felt clear.  My thoughts were no longer chaotic.  I felt the authority shift. 

When we relent to fear, we are forgetting our authority.  We are forgetting Who we are aligned with.  God is authority.  His children walk in the shelter and grace of that authority, simply because we carry His name.

Fear paralyzes and then, like vultures, all the negative thoughts circle around and peck at us.

Faith takes authority.  Faith takes any steps needed to move forward, and if stillness is required then faith allows for stillness with peace to occur.

We want to be a pleasing aroma to God, right?

Faith is that aroma.

When we walk in fear, we are calling God a liar.  We are accusing Him of not being trustworthy.  We are accusing Him of not taking good care of us.

When we walk in faith, we are agreeing with the Truth.  God is always with us and works all things together for our good.  We can count on that.  Every time.  All the time.  Without fail.

Today I challenge you to ask God to make you a pleasing aroma to Him.  Let Him turn any fear within you into faith.  Let the glory of God fill your temple.  Let everything you do be from a foundation of faith, not fear. Then watch as God makes Himself known in every circumstance you come across. 

He is faithful.

But thanks be to God, Who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of Him everywhere.  For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.  To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life.  2 Corinthians 2:14-16