It’s only because of the grace of God that you and I are not living a life deceived.  We’ve each been called and chosen by Him and for His purposes…and none of us should take this for granted.

We can’t brag about being chosen.  We couldn’t choose to be chosen.  He chose to reveal Himself to each of us.

It’s but for the grace of God that we are saved.

We must remember this when we fight the evils of this world.  If we neglect this, we will become prideful, and that pride will repel unbelievers from receiving Him. 

Never forget what you came from and Who saved you.  You are not any better than others, you’re just saved by grace.  The same grace that they need.

We are in a time where demonic possession and influence is more blatant than before.  It’s always been around, it’s just more open now, it seems.  This just means it’s easier to see who needs saving.  It also means that when we are faced with something that is openly demonic, we can rest assured that we have authority over it.  God cannot be challenged.

Sure, the demonic puts on an aggressive show and pretends to be more powerful than anything else.  But that is a lie, from the father of lies.  God cannot be challenged.

We must not only know this but believe it. 

There is a reason one demonic group is called pride.  It’s all about being prideful and thinking one can be their own god.  Utter foolishness.  But what does the Bible tell us about pride?

Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.  Proverbs 16:18

When I look into the eyes of people in the pride, the first thing I see it haughtiness.  An arrogance parades around their eyes, and this arrogance is a demonic spirit of pride.  What makes every demonic spirit flee?

Jesus.

They know Who Jesus is very well.

Suddenly, a man in the synagogue who was possessed by an evil spirit cried out, “Why are You interfering with us, Jesus of Nazareth?  Have You come to destroy us?  I know Who You are- the Holy One of God!”  But Jesus reprimanded him.  “Be quiet!  Come out of the man.”  He ordered.  At that, the evil spirit screamed, threw the man into a convulsion, and then came out of him.  Mark 1:23-26

Don’t be deceived, demons flee at the name of Jesus…even if when I googled that verse just now, the AI told me that demons don’t flee at Jesus’ name…wow, that was revealing.

They do.  Most definitely.  The enemy flees at the powerful name of Jesus.

I’m not sure if many of you know it, but I went to college to become an opera singer. 

This came from me realizing that when people asked what I wanted to do as an adult, the only thing I’d ever really wanted to do was make music.  I never auditioned for the music department, but just signed up.  I realized later that my being accepted without an audition was a fluke.  It wasn’t supposed to happen, in fact, after me signing up they said they needed to speak with admissions to make sure that doesn’t happen anymore. 

When reflecting on this…I realized that God was placing me where He wanted me to be, and He knew I wasn’t qualified…so He made a way. 

And I had no idea.

We never truly know everything that God is doing behind the scenes of our lives, to make our way.  We can’t ever truly take credit for anything.

He put me there…but why?

I’m not currently singing in operas.  So, why on earth would God place me there?

One thing is certain, I developed confidence in this one small area of my life through this time.  I discovered that I was actually a gifted singer.  I didn’t know that before.  I didn’t know that with proper training and lots of hard work, I’d discover that music is like life to me.  It’s like taking a deep breath and feeling satisfied.  I love real music.  I also discovered that I love the challenge of singing classically.  I loved that it was a skill.  It was sometimes unpredictable.  It required a lot of thought and devotion.  I loved the challenge. 

This was the first time in my life that I had embraced a challenge.

Then I began to notice anointing on my voice.  At the time I didn’t know exactly what that meant, but I could absolutely feel when the anointing was flowing over my voice, and I could see people responding to it.  It felt like a source of power and strength, though I still didn’t know why I had that.

After I graduated and eventually moved home, I really dove into leading worship.  Suddenly, I found meaning in the anointing.  It will never stop being interesting to me that this anointing was on my voice whether I was singing praise or opera.  It was simply on me.  No matter what.  This is why it’s so easy for me to see that many professional singers carry a similar anointing but have been using it for leading people into an opposite direction of the cross.  But I digress.

Do you have a story like this in your life?  A moment when you saw that God put you somewhere and now it seems as if your life has nothing to do with that anymore.  But clearly, He had done it.  Clearly the only way you were there was because He opened the door.  Only later to discover that it truly was part of His plan for developing your life.  It just happened in ways that seemed disconnected or mysterious. 

There was a reason He placed me there.  The time and money spent on my degree wasn’t a waste.  It was part of the plan.  It led me to worship.  Which by the way was mocked as a lesser way to display vocal talent by many of those I’d been involved with in college.  As if those who choose worship singing are just those who couldn’t make it any other way.  For me though, opera led me to worship. 

The songs we sang in operas were mostly full of despair.  A lot of gross sexuality.  A lot of melodramatic depression.  I did notice that I felt empty in those songs.  I kept wondering where I’d find fulfillment.  Then I discovered worship and suddenly everything made sense.  I wasn’t anointed to sing for myself.  I was anointed to sing praises to God.  He chose me for His pleasure. 

Have you discovered what He has anointed you to do for Him?  What is it that you do that you know brings pleasure to God?  When you discover it, do it.  Don’t wait for a stage or for recognition.  Do it at home, just for Him.  Just for the pleasure of His company.  Give the Giver of the gift the delight of you using it solely for His pleasure. 

That’s where meaning is found.  In the pleasure of His company.

For we are God’s masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.  Ephesians 2:10

I think it’s good to remember that both, good and evil do exist.  Evil is not just some concept that we read about in the Bible.  Evil is real and some people choose to cooperate with evil things.  Some even celebrate it.  If true evil didn’t exist, then neither would the satanic church and witches.  These things do exist. 

We are seeing evil operate every day.

The display at the Olympic opening ceremony was pure evil.  An abomination really.  Mocking the last supper was way over the line.  I keep wondering why people, instead of believing what they see and know is really true, are choosing to be led to believe a lie.  That lie being that it wasn’t meant to be a replication of the Last Supper. 

It was.  Even some members of the performance had posted publicly that it was…only to remove those posts when backlash began. 

Then we got the whole “clutching your pearls” accusation.  Such an old trick to demean those who rightly found it so offensive.

The Olympics of my lifetime has never been sexualized and satanized before…why is it now?

Because good and evil exist.

Right now, the enemy is constantly overplaying his hand.  Believing he can win at destroying more and more souls, he continues to broaden his display of counterfeits and mockeries.

The Harris campaign is doing it too. 

Have you noticed that most of her early statements were stolen from the Trump campaign?  The enemy is attempting to make it harder to discern who is telling the truth.  We must be paying attention.  She has no intention of doing anything good.  She serves evil. 

When abortion is the crux of a campaign, that campaign is founded upon evil.  There’s no convincing me otherwise. 

Now she’s rolled out more “policy” and they all would lead to a total collapse of the American way.  And end to freedom and a beginning of all our communism in our country.  That is also evil.

Pure evil.

Communism is the opposite of anything God would do.  Communism is the government of the truly weak. 

God is the epitome of a strong Leader.  He, confident in Who He is, gave us free will.  We each get to decide to love Him or not.  Only a strong leader would do such a thing. 

Weakness fights for more control.  Strength gives others the ability to choose.

It’s that simple.  Good and evil is real…which will you serve?

Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.  Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.  Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.  Proverbs 3:7-8

What sorrow for those who say that evil is good and good is evil, that dark is light and light is dark, that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter.  What sorrow for those who are wise in their own eyes and think themselves so clever.  Isaiah 5:20-21

Have you ever had an ache inside?  Like a pit in your stomach.  A longing.  A desire to be changed and see change around you.   A longing for what is to come. 

Really, it’s a seed of hope.

For a long time now, probably close to ten years, I’ve had certain longings growing inside of me.  Over those years, these longings have continued to develop, and the ache of the waiting has intensified.  It no longer feels like a longing, but a need. 

At times that feeling can seem like a burden.  A problem.  Something that makes us want to rush forward, when we should remain waiting. 

You know what it really feels like? 

Discomfort.

Nobody likes discomfort, let’s be honest.  We all try to avoid it most of the time.  Most people don’t choose it intentionally.  But if we are to really grow then we must learn to sit into that feeling and learn from God in those moments. 

Learning to face discomfort instead of avoiding it at all costs is an intentional endeavor.  We’ve talked before about how convenience culture rules the day.  Kids wait for nothing.  Parents don’t either.  So, if we are to develop into mature believers, we must intentionally allow God to lead us through these seasons. 

There will always be an option that appears to be a shortcut.  That option will inevitably serve only to make you feel like you’re making progress, while it is actually, making the road harder and longer.  It’s an illusion.

The shortcut is an illusion.

A self-serving idea that the enemy places in our minds to lead us astray.  To keep us immature but thinking we’re intellectually elite. 

Remember the Kingdom of God is like an upside-down kingdom.  To be greatest you must be least.  Jesus came as a servant…not acting as a King.

If we’re honest, most of us hate this.  We long to be on top.  To be served.  To win.  To achieve. 

The dream I described yesterday is part of the reason I’ve come to this today…we reach for things that are temporary and act as if they are eternal.  We strive for things that will immediately become nothing when we die.  Nothing. 

I wonder what would happen if we embraced the seed of hope inside and instead of trying to make it look like what we think it should, we let it be what God intends it to be.

I believe dreams take a long time because so much needs to change within us before we receive them.  They grow over time and begin to become more of what God planned.  I believe He gives us an idea and lets that sit inside our hearts and minds, until it begins to quiver and shake and begin to sprout little legs…that will one day become solid, strong roots.  But too often we grow so uncomfortable that we curtail the root growing process and try to sprout without being fully formed. 

I don’t know if this is making sense, but I pray it does.

I challenge you today, to lean into the hope inside of you.  What are your dreams?  What have you been waiting for and growing uncomfortable with waiting on?  I challenge you to lean into that discomfort and invite God to meet you there.  Invite His truth and hope to wash over you and thank Him for loving you enough to mature your heart and mind. 

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.  Proverbs 13:12

I died this week…in a dream…but it was so very real that I knew it meant something significant. 

Have you ever had one of those dreams that you knew was a lesson?  I frequently interact with my dreams these days and in the middle of one this week, I realized God was teaching me something.

I won’t lay out the dream in its entirety, but the relevant part was this…

I was in a business that was inside a house (remember this was a dream and sometimes they’re weird) with Chris and an armed robber came in.  There was a brief encounter, and he left.  Then later I went back to the same room he’d been in before, to grab my purse so we could leave.  Chris wasn’t with me this time; he’d already gone to the car.  I looked up and the armed man was coming back into the room, holding two other men at gun point.  He looked at me, smirked and said, “Get on the bed.”  In that instant I knew he either planned to tie me up or rape me and I thought, I’m not doing any of that.  I looked at him and said, “No.  I’m going to heaven so you can’t scare me.  I don’t care if I die.”  Then he tossed a handgun at me and kept his other one…like a challenge to a dual.  I looked at the gun to assess if the safety was off and started to raise it and aim…and he shot. 

Everything went stark white.  I felt something tickle down my forehead over my right eye and I knew it was blood.  I knew I’d been shot in the head.  I couldn’t move my body.  I felt the gun fall to the ground and then I felt myself fall too.  All was white and suddenly nothing mattered but God.  Seriously, only God.  Then as a last moment of “conscious” thought came, I felt a panic and wondered, “Did I spend enough time with Chris and my kids?”…and that was the end.

I know when God is revealing something to me.  This was one such time.

In the flickering of the last moments of life, nothing at all mattered.  Nothing.  Except God and family. 

It wasn’t about how successful, influential, well traveled, well read, well fed, or smart I’d been.  It was about my husband and my children.  My family and the time we’ve spent together.  Hoping I’d poured into them all I could and made memories that would last their lifetime.  Making sure they knew I loved them.  Leaving my positive imprint on their lives. 

This is what matters…dying showed me that. 

What a unique gift it was to see what life means. 

Suddenly, as I wrote those words, I realized that the dream was actually an answered prayer.  I have been praying and asking God what is truly meaningful in life.  I’ve spent a lot of time asking Him to show me how to best spend the time on earth that He’s gifted to me. 

Wow, He is amazing.  He took me to death to show me how to live. 

Thank You, God.  You are so faithful and compassionate with me.  I will never take You for granted.  You are my King.  You are my everything.

On another note:  Remember how I mentioned everything going white in the dream? 

I’ve been in that white place before during prayer and worship.  A few times actually.  It’s a place that is heavenly.  Near to God.  I can’t explain it, but I know that place well.  Immediately, when seeing that specific whiteness, I knew that I was about to meet God.  How wonderful is that?!

Today, I encourage you to ask God the same question that I had been asking.  What is most important in life?  What would make my life successful?  How to I spend the years I have wisely? 

Once He answers it’ll be your turn to decide if it’s worth it to you or not. Will you choose to abandon earthly concepts of value to pursue His, or not?  Will you live according to your perception of value or His? 

It’s truly that simple.

If you love your father and mother more than you love Me, you are not worthy of being Mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than Me, you are not worthy of being Mine.  If you refuse to take up your cross and follow Me, you are not worthy of being Mine.  If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for Me, you will find it.  Matthew 10:37-39

This Sunday, I find myself alone at home.  It a precious and rare event.  This morning, while everyone was here and still sleeping, I was stirred.  I know that old familiar stirring by my Best Friend.  A stirring of the Spirit.  I snuck out of bed around 2:30am.  I just couldn’t sleep at the moment.  I asked God to lead me to a sermon or worship that would fill me. 

I found a spontaneous worship YouTube and it lulled my heart into that space between awake and asleep where we don’t resist the Spirit.  The place where we can most easily hear.  Do you know that space? 

When we are fully awake, we often interrupt God as He speaks.  Sometimes, from excitement.  Sometimes, because we don’t want to feel convicted.  But when He wakes us in the night, it’s so much easier to simply let Him speak because we are in the middle space.  Our minds are quieter.  The world is quiet.

My spirit was at rest.  After a bit of worship and hearing some teaching, I feel right back to sleep.  The sleep of the peaceful.

Now, the family has left for the day and I am alone in the cathedral of my relationship with Abba, Yeshua, and Holy Spirit.  A beautiful cathedral it is.  As I worship aloud, with my eyes closed, I see my words coming out as shades of light.  All the beautiful colors in and beyond the rainbow.  My body seems to be exuding colors and light, as my spirit…first provoked in the watches of the night…has met Him ready. 

Always come to church ready.  Whether you’re going to a church building with others or at home alone or with a few…come ready.  Bring the gift of readiness to receive.  Come with expectation of receiving Him. 

Sabbath.

Today I will worship and rest.  I will embrace this pause and squeeze all of Him that I can, from within it. 

My Constant One.  Lover of my soul.  Giver of all good things.  My Faithful Father.  Brother.  Savior.  Best Friend.  I exalt You.

What joy for the nation whose God is the Lord, whose people He has chosen as His inheritance.  The Lord looks down from heaven and sees the whole human race.  From His throne He observes all who live on the earth.  He made their hearts, so He understands everything they do.  The best-equipped army cannot save a king, nor is great strength enough to save a warrior.  Don’t count on your warhorse to give you victory- for all its strength, it cannot save you.  But the Lord watches over those who fear Him, those who rely on His unfailing love.  He rescues them from death and keeps them alive in times of famine.  We put our hope in the Lord.  He is our help and our shield.  In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name.  Let Your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in You alone.  Psalm 33:12-22

I keep thinking about the wickedness upon the earth.  I can’t stop seeing it all around as I observe the many different ways we are being assaulted.  It’s hard to know how to pray.  It’s hard to stay soft.  It’s hard to be diligent and not overbearing.  It’s hard to stay gentle.

I remember the fruit of the spirit…

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…against which things there is no law.

No law can rob us of this fruit.  No one can give this fruit but God.  Apart from God these things don’t exist.  Consider that when you watch behavior of unbelievers.  They have not, because they have not God…yet.

When you listen to unbelievers “preach” about how we should love, remember that they have no concept of what real love looks like.  It’s up to God to reveal that to them…and for us to display it. 

We are not to be taught by the world and the unbelievers.  We are to receive our teaching from God. 

So how are we to interact with them?  What do we pray over the wicked?  This feels more and more complicated.  Then I asked God…

“Pray for their eyes to be opened and their hearts to be softened.”

Then, like a flood, I saw that instead of praying against all they are doing, I am to pray that they have a revelation of God.  A face to Face encounter with Him.  Pray for their salvation.  Stop being distracted by their wickedness and realize that they will be in hell if their hearts don’t change before death.  How horrible is that?!

I had been praying against all the evil being done in our own government a lot lately, but every time I would feel defeated and like it was all too much and impossible.  No matter how much I prayed, I kept feeling overwhelmed…until this moment.  When He shifted my perspective to His. 

Hearts are His priority.  Heaven is what He wants to fill. 

How short-sighted of me to be endlessly burdened with our current world, neglecting eternity.

I pray that today God shifts your perspective as well.  Let’s join with heaven and pray for the great harvest of souls.  Women wouldn’t want to have abortions if they knew God.  People wouldn’t choose socialism if they knew God, and truly understood where all authentic generosity comes from.  Men wouldn’t desire to become women and women wouldn’t desire to become men, if they knew their true identities.  Much violence would end if homes had fathers who were present and active in their role.  And here we land where we always seem to land…the revolution is family. 

Oh God, rend heaven and come down.  Pour out Your Spirit on all mankind.  Let us know You.  Save our souls.  Fill our homes with joy and peace.  Let prosperity come to the righteous.  Let Your power rest on the righteous.  Come Lord and explode upon us today and forevermore.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am in distress.  Tears blur my eyes.  My body and soul are withering away.  I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness.  Sin has drained my strength; I am wasting away from within.  I am scorned by all my enemies and despised by my neighbors- even my friends are afraid to come near me.  When they see me on the street, they run the other way.  I am ignored as if I were dead, as if I were a broken pot.  I have heard the many rumors about me, and I am surrounded by terror.  My enemies conspire against me, plotting to take my life.  But I am trusting You, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!”  My future is in Your hands.  Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.  Let Your favor shine on Your servant.  In Your unfailing love, rescue me.  Don’t let me be disgraced, O Lord, for I call out to You for help.  Let the wicked be disgraced; let them lie silent in the grave.  Silence their lying lips- those proud and arrogant lips that accuse the godly.  Psalm 31:9-18

I was awakened in the night and kept restlessly turning from one side to the other.  I couldn’t get settled again.  I began to ask God what was going on.  I felt an anxiousness.  I kept thinking about things that trouble me.  Then I asked God to come and show me how to pray.  What should my focus be?

Suddenly, I saw myself at a waterfall.  I was right at the water and it’s crisp, clear taste refreshed my mouth as I cupped my hands to drink. 

I literally asked God what to focus on and how to pray and He leads me to this waterfall of refreshing.

What is the waterfall?  Well, later this morning I discovered it…I opened my precious Bible, and it went to some promises God had given us years ago from the book of Deuteronomy…

You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.  The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock- the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.  Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.  You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.  The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you.  They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.  The Lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to.  The Lord your God will bless you in the land He is giving you.  The Lord will establish you as His holy people, as He promised you on oath, if you keep the commands of the Lord your God and walk in His ways.  Then all the peoples on earth will see that you are called by the name of the Lord, and they will fear you.  The Lord will grant you abundant prosperity- in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock, and the crops of your ground- in the land He swore to your forefathers to give you.  The Lord will open the heavens, the storehouse of His bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands.  You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none.  The Lord will make you the head, not the tail.  If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom.  Deuteronomy 28:3-13

Our God is so kind.  His words are like water to a weariness inside of me.  They wash away all disappointment, frustration, and delay and place me right back in the center of Him.  Focused on His face and nothing else. 

The enemy is working overtime right now to exhaust everyone.  The news cycle has become intentionally exhausting.  It’s attempting to cause us to disconnect and allow the demonic spirits to take charge of our country and world by simply bullying us into submission.

The constant barrage of news, lies, deceptions is intentional.  It’s a weapon.  We must open our eyes to what’s true.

God is true.  He is always refreshing.  He alone is peace.  Prince of peace. 

Distraction is all around us, but we must wake up!

Wake up and step out of the storm and into the waterfall of His presence. 

He is extending an invitation to you right now.  Today.  No delay.  Will you choose refreshing or stay in a state of stress, worry, and hurry?

I’m going to tell you something. 

Over the years, as I’ve wrestled with my calling, I have heard God whisper a few times that my process can take as long as I want it to.  I can either turn to Him and trust the unusual road He has planned for me and my family, or I can continue to stay in the “rat race” and wander as long as I wanted.

I’m not the only one.

We all have a choice.  Follow Him or continue to wander in distraction.

I read through the Bible in a Year, every year.  I began this practice many years ago when we were living in Pennsylvania.  I remember how difficult it seemed when I first began.  I was using a Bible app on my phone at the time and found that to be completely laborious.  It felt disconnected and I didn’t really enjoy the scrolling.  I hadn’t yet discovered the paperback version.  But years later, I bought a paperback Bible in a Year…and it revolutionized my life. 

I am a person who prefers to hold the book I’m reading.  I love smelling that new book smell and I love turning the pages of a book.   I love to hold and feel what I’m reading.  The Bible is no different.  Holding a book connects me with it so much more, and you can make notes and mark things that are really important to you.  You can mark scripture with notes to notate the year God highlighted it to you and used it to minister to your life. 

Recently, when I was doing my daily Bible reading, I heard my own life’s history speaking to me as I read the familiar passages.  I remembered how desperate I’d been when I had read those same scriptures a couple of years ago, and then I noticed that now I feel a total release from that part of my life.  I testified to myself as I read His word.  Suddenly, reading the pages and seeing notes I’ve written over the years, in the margins, began to speak to my heart of how much God has done. 

Then I realized one reason it’s so important to read scripture every day is because you will eventually see your life change and as it does, the scripture that sustained you during that time will testify to you.  The scripture that ministers to you in one way one year, will show evidence of growth in another year.  It’s so wonderful. 

Friends, we build a relationship with our Savior and the Word.  It can only occur over time and faithfulness. 

I know I keep repeating some themes, and I’m about to do it again. 

We must slow down and take time to tend to our relationship with Jesus.  Not once a month, week, at a conference once a year…but every single day.  Imagine how your other relationships would suffer if you didn’t tend to them regularly.  My husband needs my attention and affection every day, not just sometime.  My children need me all day long and every day, not just during summer camp.  Are you getting the point?

He deserves everything.  Our whole lives.  All our time.  He deserves to be our main focus.  He is worthy of all our affection.

It doesn’t matter if people think you are overzealous because you include God in all your life.  It doesn’t matter if people act offended or accuse you of thinking you’re better than them because they don’t like the way God takes preference in your life.  When they act like that, they are voicing their own conviction.  Their need for more of Him.  They are reflecting onto you their guilt about not giving God all they know they should.

I have decided to follow Jesus.  Though none go with me, still I will follow.  I will never turn back.  Will you?

I will praise the Lord at all times.  I will constantly speak His praises.  I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart.  Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt His name together.  I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me.  He freed me from all my fears.  Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.  In my desperation, I prayed, and the Lord listened; He saved me from all my troubles.  For the angel of the Lord is a guard; He surrounds and defends all who fear Him.  Taste and see that the Lord is good.  Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in Him!  Fear the Lord, you His godly people, for those who fear Him will have all they need.  Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing.  Psalm 34:1-10

My heart has felt like a song lately.  A song with words I don’t yet know.  Full of thoughts that I have yet to conceive.  I’ve felt a strange void in song…not a dissatisfaction with God, but a longing for a more meaningful song.  An internal need to express these most deep thoughts and feelings.  A way to express a deeper intimacy with God. 

Like wine in a barrel for many years without being drank…aging…growing richer over time.  Who knows when the right time is to finally tap the barrel and experience the beauty only time can add to flavor.

In a world of hurry and scurry, my heart, from a very young age has longed for a much different tempo.  I see now, through hindsight that I was built this way.  I was created to crave a different tempo from the worlds…and to introduce others to its beauty and satisfaction.  God resides in this space.

The only thing is this…when you stop and reach for something deeper, you must become excruciatingly familiar with the emptiness that precedes it. 

It is not easy.  If it was, the reward would be less valuable…wouldn’t it?

No, I still haven’t tapped into the new song in my heart, but just like I learned to wait during childbirth…I’m learning to wait now.  Waiting with focus.  Waiting with intention.  Waiting in hope.  Waiting in faith.  Waiting because in order to catch up with Holy Spirit, I know now that I must stop first. 

He is in the waiting. 

There is a void before the finding…I sit in that now.  Nestled deep within its nest, I am waiting, as a bird in an egg awaits the moment of cracking forth into the light.  I continually peck at the shell…knowing that this is not forever…but the struggle of the birth is what will bring the strength to carry the next season. 

No shortcuts.

Grace forces us to develop the strength to carry the gifts God gives us.  Mercy understands our impatience and plants many gifts in the hard of waiting seasons. 

Come Lord Jesus, we groan in the waiting.  Come and release, release upon us.  You are all we need.  In You is everything.  The sum and total of all our life stories colliding together in the symphony of creation You have placed us within.  We create as we are yet being created.  We breathe as You breathe into us.  We live by Your Spirit.  We pursue the worthy pursuit.  Come and break through, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize?  So run to win!  All athletes are disciplined in their training.  They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.  So, I run with purpose in every step.  I am not just shadowboxing.  I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should.  Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I, myself might be disqualified.  1 Corinthians 9:24-27