A few days ago, I mentioned that our dishwasher broke, and that I would begin saving up to buy a new one.  You may remember that I also mentioned how I saw this as an opportunity to further connect with my home and family…well, that’s gloriously been the case.

I haven’t had anyone help me wash the dishes, so far.  I’m sure I will eventually, but for now I simply want to do it for myself.  As I have practiced this daily routine I’ve noticed something unexpected…in the evening as I am closing down the kitchen, either Chris or one of the kids will usually come and talk with me the entire time I’m washing. 

Again, I am not asking them for help intentionally.  It’s my choice to do it alone.

As they stand on the other side of the counter they chat away while I clean.  I hear about the things that are important to them.  I listen to the silly jokes.  I hear the burdens of their heart.  It’s truly become a bonding time. 

Mothering never stops.  It’s a 24/7 job.  A worthy job.  An honor.  And I keep finding new pleasures within its structure.  New mercies.  New joys.  It’s truly the gift that keeps on giving.

When I was a newer mother, I would complain a lot, and feel sorry for myself.  There were always lots of other mothers around to join me in this pettiness.  I began to notice that it was very important who I allowed to influence me.  God kept drawing me to Himself.  He eliminated most of the negative influences in my life and placed some people in my path only once or twice to give me solid council and open my eyes to my need to grow up.  It took years to break off so much of the selfishness and ugliness of my heart.  That’s also a worthy and good work.  Mothering is refining.

In the past I might have lamented every time I “had” to wash the dishes.  Now, I see it as a privilege. 

I know I’ll get another dishwasher, and this isn’t forever.  I also know how to run and manage a kitchen better than I used to, as well.  It works because I work it. 

So, while I am doing this extra work, I have decided to find the joy and hidden blessings within it.  Deeper relationships with my family is definitely one that’s worthwhile.

Today I challenge you to search out the blessings in the things that you usually find inconvenient.  Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, invite God into it and ask Him to bless you.  Ask Him to mature your mind.  Allow Him to bless you in unexpected places.  Ask Him to open your eyes to the blessings.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.  I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.  Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore, I will wait for Him.”  The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.  It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.  Lamentations 3:19-27

Chris and I have been parenting together for a long time.  We began our marriage as parents, with him already having Noah and I adopting him.  We’ve never known marriage to each other without children. 

Sure, I’ve wondered what that might have felt like, but we will never know, and that’s just fine too.  God planned it all the way He wanted it to be.  Honestly, at this point, I can see that already having a child was a blessing for us.  We began our marriage by establishing how we wanted to parent together.  He heard me when I stated that it was very important for me to stay at home with our kids because I desired that he and I be their greatest influence, and a steadying force for them. 

So, from day one that’s what we’ve done.  The times when I have worked it is always from home.  God has been very gracious to provide that way.  When God is the One giving you the heart to stay home and raise your children, you can bet He will bring provision to you.

Our God is such a gracious and steady God.  He has never failed us, even once.  Never.

Now, as we are raising one young adult and three teenagers, the need for me to remain steady in the home is greater than ever.  I didn’t realize it would be, but it is.  Now, we are raising kids of an age where they are making a majority of their own decisions.  My job is to remain an ear for their musings and complaints, a shoulder for their crying and frustrations, and a holy presence to continue to turn their hearts toward God in subtle and gentle ways. 

Because we are in this later stage of parenting I realize now more than ever, something I wish I’d known before…the transition toward adulthood is going to be messy at times…that’s not always a reflection of bad parenting, it’s sometimes a sign that they are muddling their way through learning how to make their own decisions, how to manage the free will God has gifted them, establishing their own independent relationship with God and friends, this is sometimes messy.  Our job in this season is to remain steady…the definition of a good parent in these seasons is our response to their growing pains.

I cannot figure out why we believe life should be perfect or we’ve failed.  Perfection is the enemy of true growth.  It’s actually consistently being stuck in the worship of fear of man.  It’s the opposite of growing with God.  Jesus alone was perfect.  We will never be. 

As we are in the midst of so many different parenting moments all coordinating together at once, I realize that it’s never been about perfection, it’s about process.

Are we brave enough to allow our children to make and learn from their own mistakes?  Or is our own reputation the idol we’ve placed above being a good parent?

The older I get, and the more I mature with God, the more I realize that we can’t grow much until we break up with others’ opinions of us.  The fear of being misunderstood cripples us from making the best choices for our own family.  And guess what?  Nobody really cares as much as we think they do, anyway, we’ve just decided they do. 

I wonder what kind of revolution would occur if we would lay aside the parenting books and opinions of others, and instead parent with Holy Spirit? 

The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul.  He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake.  Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.  You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.  Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.  Psalm 23

Have you ever gone through a season when you just can’t seem to sleep at night?  Or a time when you keep waking up at a certain time of night and find yourself consistently unable to go back to sleep, day after day?

God invites us into the night watch.  The funny thing about it is that many people never realize it.  They just fight the season when sleep is difficult, instead of inviting God to speak to them, or instead of praying and interceding.

Many mothers know the night watch very well.  Up late at night nursing a baby, wondering when we will ever sleep again…then we notice that the presence of God is thick.  He is so present in the night watch.  Even as new moms we can make use of the night watch by always praying during those late-night feedings.  It’s like training to be a parent.

I’m in a night watch season.  I’ve been struggling to get steady sleep.  But since I’ve been here before, I know what to do.  I invite God to speak to me.  I invite Him to show me why I’m awake.  I ask, “Why am I awake?  Are you keeping me awake for a reason or is the enemy trying to rob me of sleep?”

Ah yes, mothers especially know the night watch. 

In the night watch we wrestle for our children.  We speak life as we pace the floor.  We storm heaven with our requests for breakthrough within our family.  We hold the pieces of broken hearts around us and ask God to restore them. 

I hope today, to encourage you to become more aware.  If you notice a pattern in your life, especially being awakened regularly night after night, then inquire of the Lord.  Ask if He is the One doing the waking.  If He is, then cooperate.  Pray.  Pray in the spirit.  Pray with passion.  Pray.

Embrace the night watch and hope for morning.  Let the stillness of night stand guard around you as you focus in a way that simply can’t happen during the day. 

On my bed I remember You; I think of You through the watches of the night.  Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings.  I cling to You; Your right hand upholds me.  Psalm 63:6-8

I call with all my heart; answer me, Lord, and I will obey Your decrees.  I call out to You; save me and I will keep Your statutes.  I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in Your word.  My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on Your promises.  Hear my voice in accordance with Your love; preserve my life, Lord, according to Your laws.  Those who devise wicked schemes are near, but they are far from Your law.  Yet You are near, Lord, and all Your commands are true.  Long ago I learned from Your statutes that You established them to last forever.  Psalm 119:145-152

We need the power of Christ.  We need to access the greater things that Jesus said we’d be doing.

Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in Me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even grater things than these, because I am going to the Father.  And I will do whatever you ask in My name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  You may ask Me for anything in My name, and I will do it.  John 14:12-14

I’ve written about this verse before, but here we are again.

Over last weekend we had an assassination attempt in America.  A presidential candidate was shot in the ear, barely sparing his life.  Literally, one head movement changed it from a deadly tragedy for Trump, to an awakening.  Although, one audience member did lose his life, heroically, as he covered his wife and daughter with his own body. 

I want to honor that man’s sacrifice.  I believe the best way we can is to begin to move in power.

After years of allowing the enemy to gaslight the church into silence and timidity, it’s time to break off that demonic yoke and move in power.

Who cares what others say?  Of course, the lost will mostly not understand us…until the moment when God opens their eyes.  Who cares what cessationists say?  They are obviously missing the fruit.  What if the moment of their awakening comes when they see God move in power. 

We must become bold.  Bolder still. 

What if we believed we would be answered when we prayed?  It’s obvious to me that many times we don’t truly expect it.  We often, myself included, pray lack luster prayers that are more for us to look good, than for us to speak with God.  I’m being really honest right now.

It’s time to bolster our faith.  To storm heaven with requests for a move of God.  Requests for power. 

It’s a time of restoration of masculinity.  This was clear over the weekend.  The things that moved us and that brought us comfort, are the demonstrations of masculinity.  Trump rising after the shot and pumping his fist while shouting, “Fight, Fight, Fight!!”.  The father in the crowd throwing his body over his family to protect them.  The men in the crowd who helped those who were shot. 

God created men to move in power!  Arise men!!! Arise and move in power!!!

It’s time to restore mothers to the home and to bring father’s back into the position of protector and provider.  Any offense to this statement is not a measure of me…consider scripture and the Biblical landscape.  God made it clear all throughout scripture that He has a godly order to family.  This order, when lived out in partnership with Holy Spirit, leads to a deep respect between husband and wife.  An order that shows our children that they are safe in the home.  Building homes that create a place where our children can have freedom to grow and become who God wants them to be, because their parents have cultivated an ordered home, with respect for one another’s role in the Kingdom. 

It’s time to move in power.

Real power isn’t something that even has to be said, because it is seen.  You know when you are in the presence of a powerful person.  It rests on their spirit.  Power often moves quietly but isn’t afraid to get loud.  Power moves in truth, seeing clearly that lies are a sign of weakness.  Power operates in belief because it knows that unbelief is yet another sign of weakness. 

Certainty.  Power is certain. 

Are you certain of what is true?  Are you certain of what you believe? 

God, may Your power begin to stir up inside of each of us.  Forgive us for any time we’ve been afraid to move in power.  Come over us and show us how to proceed in real power.  Pour out Your Spirit upon us, God.  Lead us into all You have laid aside for us.  Come Holy Spirit, Come.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Today I had another parent give me a really high compliment, and she didn’t even realize it.  She said her child told her she likes to be at our home because nobody here is in a hurry.  She felt the calm here.

It took a second, then I realized that this is exactly the atmosphere I’ve been working so hard to cultivate in our home.  Living life at a pace where my kids can actually think, consider, ponder, create, discover, etc. 

I was so excited.

Then it hit me…for a while I’ve been wondering if I’m lazy or if I am doing good raising my kids in an intentionally peaceful environment.  Today I realized that I’ve been feeling like I’m not doing enough, when the reason I have the space to ponder this is because I have created exactly what I desired.

Staying steady is so foreign to us that it can feel mundane.  It can feel wrong.  It can feel absent of something.

But it’s exactly what we need if we want to have kids that think.

Tonight, while I was processing all of this God showed me that my job as a mom is “simpler” than I realized…I saw myself as a shepherd.  A shepherd takes the sheep to a field.  Then the shepherd simply watches over the sheep while they graze, etc. 

All this time that I’ve been wondering if I’m missing something, it’s been because these are my years in the field.  Like David, I’m in the field alone, watching over my flock.  Spending time with God.  Growing and maturing.  Learning to fight the lion and bear.  This is the best time. 

I am so grateful.

Being a mom is the BEST.  Running our household so my husband can go and provide for us, is an honor. 

This is what I was made to do. 

I encourage you to stop.  Stop running through life and take a breath.  First feel your own body calm down as you breathe deeply and center your spirit on Holy Spirit.  Ask God to bring steadiness and calmness to your life.  Then do the things He directs you to do, and nothing else.  Stop trying to fill your time with busyness.  Allow for the slowness of time.  Stare at the sky.  Sit and listen to the birds and crickets.  These are they types of things that make me feel alive.  These things make me feel settled inside. 

Don’t be afraid to do what little you have to do…exceptionally well.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.  Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.  Proverbs 3:3-7

As I considered how I minister to God, the other day.  I wondered about many things…then I had a thought that was like an arrow in my heart…my faith ministers to Him.

It’s so interesting, all of the faith we have comes from God.  He is the Giver of faith. 

Imagine two people receive the same amount of faith.  One uses it to believe in all that God is doing.  The other uses their faith…their belief in things not yet seen…to partner with fear of the future.

You see, we all have faith in one thing or another, at all times.

When we operate from fear, we are having faith in the bad things.  When we expect goodness, live from one blessing to another, rejoice in all things…we are having faith in God.

This makes sense. 

When I use the gift of faith to believe in God, that is us loving Him.  

I really want to minister to the Lord in whatever way I can…I’m sure you do too.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  This is what the ancients were commended for.  By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.  Hebrews 11:1-3

It is by faith we have been saved.  Faith is the crux of many things.  A pleasing fragrance to our Father. 

Let the whole earth sing to the Lord!  Each day proclaim the good news that He saves.  Publish His glorious deeds among the nations.  Tell everyone about the amazing things He does.  Great is the Lord!  He is most worthy of praise!  He is to be feared above all gods.  The gods of other nations are mere idols, but the Lord made the heavens!  Honor and majesty surround Him; strength and joy fill His dwelling.  O nations of the world, recognize the Lord, recognize that the Lord is glorious and strong.  Give to the Lord the glory He deserves!  Bring your offering and come into His presence.  Worship the Lord in all His holy splendor.  Let all the earth tremble before Him.  The world stands firm and cannot be shaken.  Let the heavens be glad, and the earth rejoice!  Tell all the nations, “The Lord reigns!”  Let the sea and everything in it shout His praise!  Let the fields and their crops burst out with joy!  Let the trees of the forest sing for joy before the Lord, for He is coming to judge the earth.  Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!  His faithful love endures forever.  Cry out, “Save us, O God of our salvation!  Gather and rescue us from among the nations, so we can thank Your holy name and rejoice and praise You.”  Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, Who lives from everlasting to everlasting!  And all the people shouted “Amen!” and praised the Lord.  1 Chronicles 16:23-36

Today our dishwasher broke.  It was totally out of the blue…full of dishes, while others waited their turn in the sink…and it just quit working. 

This fact isn’t all that interesting, at face value.  What was interesting was our family response to this occurrence.

I saw it had quit working and still felt total peace.  I had no crazy thoughts.  No pity party.  I simply smiled and thought, “Ok, well we will have to start saving for a new one.  In the meantime, I’m glad I get another opportunity to connect with my life as a homemaker.”

Now, I’m not trying to make myself look good, but this is the honest truth.  I’ve come a long way.  In the past I would’ve likely felt a flurry of emotions and likely would have cried.  Called Chris and been sad.  I would’ve sadly told the kids about it through a veil of tears.

But not today.

Today I faced it like a champ.  I didn’t even flinch.  The kids didn’t either.  And on a side note, I noticed them looking to me before they decided how to react…and upon seeing me calm and joyful, they were fine too. 

Mamas, we need to remember that we are the greatest emotional influence in our homes.  We decide what the temperature will be in almost every situation.

Next, I texted Chris about it.  He responded with a joking text…to my shock.  Then he called and we chatted casually about it and decided we’d simply start saving and in the meantime, I’d just wash our dishes by hand.  No biggie.

You may wonder how this story is a devotional.

Well, I want to share with you that every single time I’ve found victory in a situation that once set me in a swirl…the attacks in that area end.

We used to have frequent vehicle trouble, then I stopped letting it bother me and began praising God instead and instantly those attacks ceased.

We once had a succession of letters randomly from the IRS, each one making me feel sick to my stomach.  Every time I’d reach out to our tax strategist, and she’d take care of it, no problem.  In fact, most of the time we’d end up getting a check from the IRS because they’d made a mistake.  Yes, you read that right.  The tactic the enemy was using to scare us, ended up paying us dividends.  The last time we got a letter, it went like this.  I opened the mailbox, saw the letter, then laughed out loud and said, “You’ve overplayed your, hand devil.”  I sent the letter to our tax strategist, and we never received another one. 

Our response matters. 

We can learn and grow and become more trusting of the Father.  We can decide to believe that the news we receive in life will be good news.  Blessings without sorrow. 

This is how I want to live.  Don’t you?

Today I encourage you to ask God to show you any area of your life where you invite trouble to continue because of your poor response.  Let Him investigate your heart and then ask Him to mature you in this way.  Ask Him to help you respond from a position of maturity and trust.  He will do it!

I will extol the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on my lips.  I will glory in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.  Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together.  I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.  This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; He saved him out of all his troubles.  The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them.  Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.  Psalm 34:1-8

I have a real yuck feeling when I hear people saying, “This is my self-care” or “This is my self-love”. 

All the trend of self is unsettling to me because you see people now using it as a reason to not serve their families.  They have taken a simple concept and used it to feed the giant chasm of selfishness in our culture. 

Many parts of scripture fly in the face of this trend…

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friend.  John 15:12-13

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.  People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God- having a form of godliness but denying its power.  Have nothing to do with such people.  2 Timothy 3:1-5

Then I consider these scriptures…

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these.”  Mark 12:30-31

To acquire wisdom is to love yourself; people who cherish understanding will prosper.  Proverbs 19:8

I truly believe we have very little idea what true love really looks like.  When’s the last time you heard someone say, “I am seeking out wisdom as my self-care.”  You won’t be hearing anyone say that. 

But reading that scripture brought a lot of things into perspective for me.  I’ve noticed that the more I grow in wisdom, the more I feel loving toward others.  It’s an interesting thing. My capacity to see others seems to increase with wisdom.  Wisdom seems to be a foundation for many good things.

Today I challenge you to love yourself by seeking wisdom from God.  He tells us that if we ask for wisdom, He will grant it. The only caveat is that we must not doubt.  Ask without doubt and you will receive. 

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, Who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.  Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.  James 1:5-8

Today I ask, You, God to remove all disbelief from my heart and mind.  I ask You to lead me into greater faith.  Come and expand capacity for belief.  Bless my life with great wisdom.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I was talking to God about some things last week.  I was thinking about how I miss being in a prophetic group of people.  Having friends to speak over me and my family regularly, is something I miss a lot.  I was thinking about how much I loved visiting a church recently where our PA friend was teaching and prophesying.  As soon as worship started, I had a vision and God spoke clearly to me, then our friend prophesied over our family.  It was so refreshing.

I was asking God if I’m doing wrong by the way we are living so separate from everyone right now.  I ask a lot.  I always want to make sure we’re not missing anything.  I want our family to remain in the center of God’s will for our lives.  I was also lamenting the absence of local friendship in my life.  Wishing I had some who would speak into my life and I into theirs.  I know separateness is a season…not forever.

Suddenly, I saw myself sitting in the green grass and scooping water from a stream into my hands.  Then I lifted my hands to God, offering Him the water.  I heard the Lord saying, “I don’t want you to offer me someone else’s water, I want your water.”

In a second I saw that God has placed us in this separate place intentionally.  He showed me that the only way I would access the water within myself was to be alone in this season.  God wants to be my first response.  The first One I go to during all situations.   

A season is just that, a season.  Not permanent.  We shouldn’t fear seasons.  Instead, we should embrace each one and glean all we can from it. And it’s honestly a privilege that God wants to be so close to me. 

I was once far too dependent on others.  For years God has been showing me that He wants to be my everything.  He wants to be the first One I reach out to when I’m in a pickle.  He wants to share my ups and downs with me.  He wants to be my Father, Confidant, Best Friend, first Love…

My all in all.

We sing that lovely song, but do we really mean it or even understand what it means?

God, come and be my all in all.  Teach me to lean first upon You in every situation and circumstance.  Thank You for loving me and pursuing me enough to separate me from all others.  Thank You for speaking clearly to me.  I adore You.  You truly are my very best Friend.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.  Proverbs 4:23

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.  And I will put My Spirit in you and move you to follow My decrees and be careful to keep My laws.  Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be My people, and I will be your God.  Ezekiel 36:26-28

I’ve thought about motherhood a lot lately.  I’ve been reflecting on my entire journey as a mom.  Considering the things I’ve done wrong and things I’ve done right.  Weighing my actions over the years. 

Stepping back and observing the family I’ve poured into.

This process can be painful at times.  The moments where I clearly missed the mark are humbling to recount.  The sins of my life are always a source of disappointment to myself.  Assessing a lifetime of decisions isn’t always easy…but it’s good.

I’ve considered what matters most as a mom, and heard God question me repeatedly… “What makes motherhood successful?”

That’s a lot to think about. 

Then I began to consider the drastic change in our family dynamic, these last 4 years.  Pulling out of the world system and leaning into God’s heart for our entire spiritual and educational life…and I wondered…are we doing the right thing?  Are the things I’m doing important?  Enough?  Impactful?

Then I saw a garden.

The Lord showed me that what’s mattered most over the last 4 years is the space we’ve created around our 3 children at home.  The space we’ve given them to discover who they are and why they were created.  We’ve created a space around them, so they can grow largely untangled by the world.  Instead of dealing with daily school pressures, once they become 16, we introduce our children to work outside of the home and allow that time away from us to give them room to face some of the trials and troubles that they will see in the world. 

Instead of sending them to a school for over 8 hours a day and letting strangers and their peers be their main influence, we’ve chosen to be their main influence.  A conviction God placed firmly on our hearts. 

Returning to the original “way”. 

When the world began, home was everything.  Family was the central dynamic.  Being taught at home was the way.  I have no desire to transfer the bulk of my children’s learning over to the state.  Why would we want that? 

While my kids were in school, I realized that many of the teachers didn’t even have teaching certificates.   It was then that I realized I’d been dupped.  Tricked into thinking I was ill equipped to teach them myself.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I’m better equipped to teach them because I know them so well.  I can read and learn.  I was made to teach.  I believe all of us are naturally teachers.  I believe that’s something God places within each person, the ability to show others how to do what we do…to teach.  We just have to be brave enough to press into that and grow.

The garden we’ve created for our final 3 to grow in is small but allows for much freedom and growth.  We have dared to shelter our kids.  In that sheltering they’ve been allowed to discover who they are, and they’ve been able to hold onto innocence while becoming wise beyond their years. 

Innocent wisdom.  What a wonderful combination.

I wonder…how does your garden grow?

Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until He comes and showers His righteousness on you. Hosea 10:12