I guess I’m circling around worship a lot lately, but in all honesty, is there any other more noble subject?

I feel like I’m in a season of resurrecting my heart of worship, bit by bit.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been worshiping all these years, but a part of my heart has held wounds that only time and space have brought healing. 

Each of us has different giftings, and in those places we are often attacked most fiercely.  Worship has been that for me.  I bring God my heart and worship His face, yet it is by far, the greatest place of fierce attack against me.  It’s baffling.  But not surprising. 

So, I rise again and worship.  It’s never been about me.  It’s about the One I love, and He is worthy.

Worthy of all the heart wrestling.  Worthy of the abandonment of reputation.  Worthy of the rejection I’ve felt from people.  Worthy of my being misunderstood.  Worthy of the silent years, where worship bloomed in my heart.  Worthy of the years of shouting praise from the top seats in a balcony of a church, because I was in so much pain…that yelling worship was my best offering. 

In each and every season, I worship.  I bring the purest gift I can. 

One thing I’ve learned from living and observing others…the area of fiercest attack in our lives is often the area that God is using those attacks to give a strength and authority to us that nothing and nobody can take away, once we’ve endured. 

A voice unleashed.  Not because I’m great, but because He is great.  Not because I’m talented, but because He’s chosen to anoint the sounds I release.  I walk under His yoke in this place.  I have nothing that He has not given.

What area of your life is like this?

Whatever it is, I encourage you to lean into it.  Find Him in the middle of it and decide to follow Him through any and all discomfort associated with it. 

We Americans must become much more comfortable with that which makes us uncomfortable.  We have grown so accustomed with pretense that we are often offended by that which is true, pure, and authentic.  Messy.  Life is messy.  People are messy.  When we all bring ourselves into alignment with the authority of God, we begin to untangle.

I dream of a church that finds abandon.  Abandon to Holy Spirit.  Freedom.  Allowing for the messy to come and be cleaned.  I long for God’s church to arise.

What will it look like?

“They will be My people, and I will be their God.  And I will give them one heart and one purpose: to worship Me forever, for their own good and for the good of all their descendants.  And I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good for them.  I will put a desire in their hearts to worship Me, and they will never leave Me.  I will find joy doing good for them and will faithfully and wholeheartedly replant them in this land.”   Jeremiah 32:38-41

I’ve been ruminating on some thoughts about worship.  Things that have been on my heart for many years, but I still find them so frustrating and stifling.  All these thoughts resurfaced as I had a couple of memories…these 2 memories reflect two sides of one issue…

A couple of years ago I attended a worship night being held the night before a wedding.  The night was to gather their friends and family and turn our hearts toward heaven before the great day.  I came to the event and was in a season of feeling unusually heavy in life and needed a time of true and authentic worship.  A time when I could release my heart’s cry with abandon.  I entered the room and was immediately grabbed by a group and prayed over.  The pain and turmoil of the recent years burst out of me in a deep and guttural cry.  A release I needed.  An opportunity to surrender the tears.  Then I went to sit on the floor and began to worship quietly.  After a time, the weight lifted, and I felt like screaming worship because I was so grateful.  I stood and began to sing along with the worship leader.  She happened to be leading several of my favorite songs.  I stood in the back and extended my hands and began to sing.  Harmonizing with her lead and feeling so free.  Except I noticed at some point that my worship was being found offensive by some.  I just brushed it off because I was there to worship God, not be worried about perception.  Then the next leader of the night took the stage and immediately said, “We’re gonna do things a bit different.” As he looked at me, I knew he felt he was putting me in my place.  He went on to lead songs that I’m not familiar with, which was good because I felt shut down in my most sacred place of worshiping the King.  I’d come for healing in my spirit and just when that began to occur, I was attacked again.

Why is it that worship leaders feel threatened when the body sings loudly in accompaniment with them?  It makes no sense at all.  In order to check in, I approached the worship leader that I’d sung so heartily with and told her how much I enjoyed her leading and I was sorry if I had sung to loudly during it, but that it was such a welcome release for me.  She assured me that she thought nothing negative at all.  She was grateful. 

Another time, I was leading a worship time the night before a dear friend’s wedding.  Family and friends gathered, and we began.  There was another lady there who is also a worship leader.  I was so grateful when she joined in the singing.  She harmonized with me, and I saw it as an “Amen” …a time when two or more gathered in worshiping our King.  It felt like an elevation.  An encouragement. 

Upon reflecting on these two very different scenarios I have wondered what is going on?

If we are worshipping Jesus, how can we throttle people simply because we want to be the loudest…or because of our vanity?  If we are feeling threatened, then I propose we aren’t worshiping God…we are showcasing ourselves.  God is immense and has more than enough room for all.

These things make it difficult for the true worshipers who attend church services. 

We are called to worship in spirit and truth, not in fear of threatening someone’s ego. 

I know most people reading this aren’t worship leaders, but still, I hope this encourages you to re-focus your heart and mind when you’re in a church or worship setting.  We worship God.  Anything else is idol worship.  I won’t have any part of that.  It’s ok to worship with abandon, no matter what others think. 

Be a David.  Be bold and unapologetic.  Give God the honor due His name.  We were each made to worship.  I simply refuse to hold back for someone else’s comfort every again.  We only have a short time on this earth to worship…so I will do it completely.

Won’t you join me?

“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.  God is spirit, and His worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”  John 4:23-24

It’s time to stop looking behind and begin to imagine the future.

I declare this to the body of Christ. 

Our lives should be built upon the knowledge that we live in heavenly places now.  We are running toward heaven every day, propelled by the knowledge that we will one day collide with our heavenly self and live with God forever.  Our spirit, once saved, began to dwell in the heavenlies.  We still walk on earth.  This is our reality.

This is also why we often feel so displaced.

The yearning inside of each of us is pointing us toward heaven.  To be united with Christ and to live in His rule and reign.  To worship God for eternity.  Oh, glorious day!!

Look ahead. 

Become unhindered by the past.  Instead, let it become the fuel with which you run toward the future. 

God put eternity into our hearts.  Scripture tells us so.

If we have eternity in our hearts, then that explains why we carry so much longing.  It’s not something that is wrong with you, it’s something so right. 

Live in the longing.

Live for the future generations.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we began to see things in light of those we have not yet seen.  The future generations.

It’s time to stop living in the past.  It’s time to stop living only for today.  It’s time to live the legacy.

Bend down, O Lord, and hear my prayer; answer me, for I need Your help.  Protect me, for I am devoted to You.  Save me, for I serve You and trust You.  You are my God.  Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am calling on You constantly.  Give me happiness, O Lord, for I give myself to You.  O Lord, You are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for Your help.  Listen closely to my prayer, O Lord; hear my urgent cry.  I will call to You whenever I’m in trouble, and You will answer me.  Psalm 86:1-7

As I sat at the piano this morning, worshiping and centering my heart, I began thinking about a times when I have been asked to speak and lead a couple of songs at different churches.  I thought of times when I’ve been a part of worship leadership at different churches.  I thought of worship nights I’ve held in my home and the over thousand devotionals I’ve written.  I thought of the hours I’ve spent in the presence of God.  The hours I’ve spent praying over, training, and teaching my children.  Then I wondered…what has come of it all.

What a horrible thought, really.  Because the heart of it was a feeling of being unappreciated. 

I’m being very transparent with you today.

When I felt that prick of insignificance hit my heart, it pierced the Holy Spirit living inside of me and I heard, “Mind your business.”

Immediately, I saw that it didn’t matter what I witnessed coming from any of those things that I’ve done.  It’s not my business.  If I’m truly serving out of my love for God, then what He does with it is His business, not mine.

Do you see what I’m trying to show you?

If we are serving out of selfishness, we will always be looking at what our impact has been.  If we are serving God, we will leave it all on the field and move on to the next. 

It’s none of my business. 

It’s none of your business either.

We don’t get to decide the validity of our offerings.

The real question is, “Did I obey?”

I encourage you to evaluate your intentions.  Our hearts are deceptive.  Many people serve to glorify themselves, we’re all guilty of this at some time or another.  Denying it only wraps it in pride.

God, empty me of myself and only let Your Spirit overflow from within me.  Forgive me for anytime I’ve served in an effort to elevate myself.  Please keep convicting me of the impurities in my heart.  I give You full access to me.  Mold me and make me Your own.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

To the faithful You show Yourself faithful, to the blameless You show Yourself blameless, to the pure You show Yourself pure, but to the devious You show Yourself shrewd.  You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.  You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.  With Your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.  As for God, His way is perfect; the Lord’s word is flawless; He shields all who take refuge in Him.  Psalm 18:25-30

I’ve noticed that one of the hardest things to do is to allow our hands to become light.

Meaning, we are often so used to the toil and struggle that when things become light, we feel like something is wrong.  Or about to go wrong. 

Instead of enjoying the moments of lightness, we wrestle to see the troubles of the future.

Can you relate to this?

I feel like part of the reason for this is our problem with being present.  So much of our ability to be present is robbed by technology.  iPhones and the like keep us in a constant state of wanting.  More information.  More purchases.  More striving to be like the influencers. 

All of it robs from today.

We need to recapture today.  As a community of believers, we must take hold of the present again and live.  Learn to truly live. 

It’s time for God’s children to become satisfied, even as we yearn for more of Him.  Let all of our yearning be connected to Him and His presence.  This is where we become present.

The spirit of never enough has invaded all areas of our lives and culture…even the church.  It seems that nobody is ever satisfied anymore.

For months now I’ve been practicing the art of being present.  I intentionally stop myself, take a breath, and remind myself to stay grounded in today. 

Being present allows us to exercise more gratitude…which we are instructed to do before we present our requests to God.

The enemy wants to keep us distracted and in such upheaval that we never take moments to be thankful…therefore, hindering our walk with Jesus.  It’s time to put a stake in the ground and take back the present of being present in His presence.

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:4-7

I heard an unknown voice say, “Now I will take the load from your shoulders; I will free your hands from their heavy tasks.  You cried to Me in trouble, and I saved you; I answered out of the thundercloud and tested your faith when there was no water at Meribah.”  Psalm 81:6-7

As humans it’s so easy for us to begin to place our trust upon things/people that we can see.  It’s pretty natural to do so.  But we aren’t called to live a natural life, we’re called to live a supernatural life. 

In this supernatural life we know that God is our only hope, full stop. 

Sure, we should be wise in voting and stay informed and involved.  Sure, we should be wise in who we allow to pastor our families.  Sure, it’s important to be fully involved in the education of our children.

But the only hope we ever have is God.

We can only rely on Him.  Our own strength will fail.  Our hearts are fickle.  But we have this promise…

Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.  Jer. 17:7

I am constantly reminding myself that God is my security.  No job.  No person.  No amount of money.  Only God.  As I remain tethered to Him in that, I find so much freedom. 

Fear leaves.

Insecurity goes.

Anxiety flees.

I am found steady in His heart.

I encourage you to tether yourself to Him today.  Intentionally look to Him for the answers and let the unknown go.  He is in tomorrow.  In fact, He wrote its story.

I love the following scripture.  It’s such a good reminder of why we place our trust in Him.  It’s also humbling and good to remember that our hearts are deceitful. 

As the world says, “Follow your heart.”  I say, “Follow God and ask Him to bring your heart into alignment with His.”

Follow your heart…has always felt wrong to me.

Follow His heart…that makes sense.

This is what the Lord says: “Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord.  They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future.  They will live in the barren wilderness, in an uninhabited salty land.  But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.  They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water.  Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought.  Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.  The human heart is the most deceitful of all things and desperately wicked.  Who really knows how bad it is?  But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives.  I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.”  Jeremiah 17:5-10 

He calls me out.  Come off the shore and walk on the surf with Me.   Don’t fear.  Don’t look around.  I’ve been training you all these months…in all this solitude…to keep focused on what is real.

I Am real.

Only I Am.

Come and walk with Me. 

As you take your first step, don’t fear the wetness.  You won’t stand upon the water until you take that step.  Look fear in the face and see Me on the other side.

I Am here.

The world is washed away and all I see is You, Lord.  My eyes peer into the distance and there You are still.  I look beside me and there You are.  I look to my feet and see You there, holding me up.  You are all around me.  I cannot step outside of Your Presence for You hem me in.  I am safe. 

Believe Me when I speak to you.  Don’t fear the words I say.  Don’t worry about the landing of the messages I give to You.  Simply speak.  Holy Spirit testifies of Himself. 

Come and walk with Me.  There is nowhere we cannot go together. 

We each must search for Jesus’ eyes and meet Him.  Each person’s faith is their own.  Nobody can substitute their faith for another’s. 

We each come to times in our lives when our faith is tested.  This isn’t a bad thing.  It’s a strengthening thing.  A blessing.  An honor.  Our faith must eventually be put to work, lest it be dead. 

We mustn’t fear or avoid the moments when we are tested.  We instead, can choose to lean into those times and thank God that He loves and trusts us enough to be tested.  Tested and approved.  That’s what we want. 

To know that we choose God when it mattered most. 

To know that our faith in Him is real. 

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds?  Can such faith save them?  James 2:14

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.  When the disciples saw Him walking on the lake, they were terrified.  “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.  But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage!  It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”  “Lord, if it’s You,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to You on the water.”  “Come,” He said.  Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  Matthew 14:25-29

Far too often I notice that people begin to forget about God when they are in seasons of high tide.

High tide.

When life is abundant in every way.  When it seems like anything is possible and no door is closed.  When we see only good in the future and have hope overflowing.

High tide.

Looks successful.  Looks alive.  Looks like favor.

It’s so easy to begin to think that we are having a season of high tide because of ourselves, as if we’ve earned it, but it’s always because of Him.  Much like our salvation, of which we can take no credit, who do we think creates the tide?  How do we think it rolls in? 

Certainly, we have no control over that.

A walk with Jesus is a balance of humility and authority.  It’s so interesting.

We have all authority, but only through Jesus…that alone should keep us humble.  Human nature is a tricky thing though.  We’re all naturally selfish and self-aggrandizing.  I’ve not met a single person who isn’t.

High tide.

Reveals who we truly put our faith in…

It’s easy to seek God in times of trouble, it’s more difficult to continue seeking Him when you’re doing well. 

High tide.

I feel the water rising as we speak.  It pours over my toes and quickly rises to my ankles, then my knees.  How high will it rise?

We never know.  But God is in the high tide.

In the high tide we meet God as our solid Rock.  The waters rise comfortably at first, but then keep going and we begin to wonder…will we drown?  We must be found on the solid Rock.  Our firm Foundation.

Jesus our King.  God our Father.  Holy Spirit our Guide/Comfort.

Like a lighthouse in a storm, we are safe in His barrier.  Safe, while still shining our light for all to see.  We are held.

One thing I know about high tide is this…once it comes, I know He’s about to call me out upon the water…

“Therefore, everyone who hears these words of Mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”  Matthew 7:24-27

Everyone has seasons of low tide.

Times when life seems dry.  Moments when it takes much more effort to dig in the sand and reach the softness and comfort of God. 

As we stand on our bit of shore and observe the vast ocean around us it can feel unfair to be cut off for a season.

Alone.  A word some are so afraid of that they will continue in destructive and completely unbeneficial relationships and scenarios to avoid.  Alone can feel like a heavy weight covering your shoulders.  A weight that brings no warmth or comfort, quite the contrary, it leaves you feeling cold and wanting.

Where is God in those seasons?

Are we being punished?

Your personal answers to those two questions will undoubtedly reveal the depth of your understanding of Who He truly is and what how He operates.

When we stand before God, friends and family to get married we state that we will love each other in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, in plenty and in want, as long as we both shall live.

I wonder what would change if we were committed to God in that very same way.

It’s a lazy man’s way to be angry with God when the tide is out.  It’s the selfish man’s way to accuse God when things are dry around you. 

He is calling us to a deeper commitment.  One that likens our relationship with Him to marriage.  A commitment that remains and sustains, without blame and accusation, through all the years.  A commitment that doesn’t become petty when we don’t get our way. 

How on earth can we give more grace and understanding to our spouse than we give to God?!

That’s baffling.

Over the years, one of the most important things I’ve learned is to expect the best.  I expect to be blessed when troubles come.  I expect to be safe when trials are near.  I expect to be loved, especially when the world tells me I’m not.  I will praise the Lord in plenty and in want. 

One thing I know for certain…if it’s low tide now, then high tide is coming.

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.  The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to My people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim My praise.  Isaiah 43:18-21

Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand.  Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.  For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.  And when Christ, Who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all His glory.  Colossians 3:1-4

I think about things like this every day. 

All throughout my days and decisions, my gaze is held by heaven.

What I do and don’t do, how I live, who I share life with, how much influence and access I allow others to have in my life, who and how I serve…everything is held in comparison and contrast with heaven…

My true home.

I remember coming to the realization that I hadn’t fully embraced my position as a daughter of God and a resident of heaven.  In that moment I began a journey of change.  Allowing God to pull off the earth from my shoulders and positioning me to be rinsed off by Truth.

The Truth is that very little that happens on this earth will matter once I am permanently in heaven. 

So how do I navigate daily life?  How do I find purpose and what is worthy of my attention?

I’m sure you’ve already guessed what I’m going to say…

God and family…all else follows behind.

I often think of how much I appreciate the words of Solomon…

“Meaningless!  Meaningless!” says the Teacher.  “Utterly meaningless!  Everything is meaningless.”  Ecclesiastes 1:2

I become more acutely aware, each day, that so much of the busyness and toil of this earth and the pursuit of many things is actually completely and utterly meaningless.

I’m not attempting to come across as discouraging.  I’m attempting to strike the heart of the issue.  I’m screaming into the earth, “Instead of finding acceptance for following the way of the world, why not follow JESUS!!!”

This is my plea. 

This is the place I rest my head.

This is what is worth the forsaking of all else.

My popularity, fame, fortune, acceptance, fitting in, purpose…none of it eclipses my desire to follow Jesus anymore.  There is only that.

I have decided to follow Jesus.  No turning back.  No turning back.

Will you join me?