Today, as I was driving and worshiping, I had an encounter with the Lord.  I was pondering as I passed the time.  I was worshiping and feeling God’s presence so intimately.  Suddenly, I felt wrapped around.  I heard, “Hope is holding onto you.”

It took my breath away. 

I realized that after all the years of making the decision to hold onto hope, hope had begun to hold onto me.  I became aware that my default is hope.  I have focused so much on maintaining hope during all circumstances, and the reward is that now hope is holding onto me.    I saw myself wrapped in hope, almost like a blanket. 

Friends, I am discovering that much of the reality of our lives is decided by these seemingly small decisions we make every day. 

I remain hopeful because I decided that’s the type of person I wanted to become.  I am the kind of mother that I am because I made a decision to be this way.  I am the wife I am because of daily decisions to remain in love with my husband, no matter what.  I don’t just want to be married; I want to be fulfilled in our marriage.  I want Chris to be fulfilled as well.  So, I search for ways to encourage and champion him.  I actively seek out ways to pour into his heart.  I don’t hide what I need from him, making him guess.  No, I find moments when I can communicate my needs to him in gentle ways. 

Everything worthwhile in my life, is intentional. 

It would be easy to lose hope right now.  The world seems to be going insane.  People are saying up is down and down is up.  Things don’t seem to make much sense.

This is why it’s even more important to remain grounded in the simple things right now.  Truth is simple.  Hope is pure. 

I am unashamedly hopeful. 

I hope for a legacy to be built into our family.  Time to sow into our children’s futures…and their children’s.

I have hope for a great and true revival to sweep over the earth.  A real turnaround that leads into a billion-soul harvest.  A time when God calls all who will be called.

I long for heaven every day, but I refuse to simply wait.  I want to live.  Hoping is living.  Don’t you think?

For God wanted them to know that the riches and glory of Christ are for you Gentiles, too.  And this is the secret:  Christ lives in you.  This gives you assurance of sharing His glory.  Colossians 1:27

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  It is by His great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead.  Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance- an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay.  And through your faith, God is protecting you by His power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see.  1 Peter 1:3-5

The spirit of this age is fear.  Fear is not from the Lord.  Therefore, we know that we should never partner with it or cooperate with it when it comes knocking threateningly at our door. 

God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear.

We read in Scripture that we are to Fear the Lord.  This isn’t fear like we are accustomed.  It’s strong reverence.  It’s an acknowledgment of Who God truly is and that we never want to be separated from Him. 

Do you now see that when the enemy tries to use fear to control the earth…he’s essentially trying to command our attention toward him as god?  The enemy uses fear to distract us from faith in God.  To make us see him as our god instead.

When we give into fear we transfer worship from God to the enemy.  I certainly don’t want to do that. 

So many things in our lives operate from agreement.  We see it in scripture.  God looks for those who agree with what He’s doing. 

A prime example was when a group went to explore the Promised Land and only 2 came back with a good report.  The others were speaking from a spirit of fear.  They were partnering with the enemy.  Joshua and Caleb partnered with fear of the Lord and as a result they got to enter the land.  The others didn’t. 

Our agreement matters.

Partnering with fear has a cost. 

We would do well to remember this as we proceed through the rest of this year.  The media and government are hell bent on controlling us with fear mongering.  So, what do you think our response should be?

Fear God alone.  Go to Him when you hear a fearful word and ask Him to reveal the truth to you.  Tell Him you will trust in Him and follow His lead and not man. 

The only way to successfully break up with fear and begin to partner with God is to decide in advance.  It’s a deliberate decision.  We do it on purpose. 

I encourage you to lean into God’s heart and ask Him to help you fear only Him.  Pray and break up with fear of man.  Break up with fear of the enemy.  Ask God to give you bold strength.  Ask Him to lead you in all things. 

He Who is faithful, will remain faithful forever. 

In God we trust.

This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you.  For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.  2 Timothy 1:7

Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.  Proverbs 1:7

Have you ever heard the phrase, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”?  I sure have.  I’ve heard it all my life, but it’s always bothered me and now I soundly reject it.

That phrase has been used as an excuse for people to not change.  Further, it’s been an excuse given to older people, so they don’t have to care how they act.  When I was younger it was used in describing those older than me and it meant, those people don’t have to change, only you do.

No.

I reject this idea.

I will never reach an age where I am no longer capable of change and therefore, others must only compensate for me.  I will never reach an age where my actions are simply excused in masse because I am incapable of change.

No.

We are each responsible for our own actions…forever.  It begins when we are young, and it should continue until death. 

To me this is no more nonsensical than the trend of adults getting divorced then sleeping with people they aren’t married to and acting like that’s suddenly not a sin.  It is a sin.  What was a sin when you were young, is still a sin when you’re older.  It may be or feel more inconvenient, but it’s still a sin. 

Here’s what I’m noticing about growing older…

As I’ve repeatedly stated, our family made a full stop change a few years ago and we began to reorient our lives.  One fruit from that has been the ability to see a bigger picture.  We’ve started doing a lot of new things.  Things I never had time for before, but now we do and the fact that we’ve already embraced change seems to have opened our hearts and minds up to the fact that we can still learn and begin to do new things!

Just this weekend, my kids and I did something new.  As a family we recently began to make earrings from wood on our land.  This Saturday we set up a booth at a festival to sell those earrings and my youngest daughter’s paintings.  It was new.  It was exhilarating.  I couldn’t help but feel proud to lead my children into boldly becoming entrepreneurs in a new way. 

For most of our marriage, Chris and I have been business owners of some sort.  But back then I only saw business one way.  I didn’t have a grid for making things and marketing them in social media and in direct sales.  But now that we’ve broken out of the mold, we are all able to see how to do these things.  And the best part is…we always do the new things together, as a whole family. 

This is how you begin to build a legacy.

I no longer desire to make a name for myself.  Now I see in terms of legacy.  I want to build things that I can leave for my children to continue building.  I want to leave them with work to do.  With opportunities.  With ideas to implement. 

Legacy. 

It’s built one moment at a time…but with generations on our mind.

And it all starts with being willing to try new things.  It requires not getting stuck in your ways, rather embracing new ideas and new concepts and always being willing to change. 

Today I challenge you to try one new thing.  Make it something small.  It will undoubtedly have a larger impact over time.  Take one small step into something new.  Change your routine in one small way.  Challenge your mind to see something from a different vantage point.  I promise it will be worth it.

For I am about to do something new.  See, I have already begun!  Do you not see it?  I will make a pathway through the wilderness.  I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.  Isaiah 43:19

There’s a lot going on in the world right now.  A whole lot.

It is easy to begin feeling nervous and wondering if you are alone in walking out the Truth. 

His truth.  Her truth.  Your truth.  Those things don’t exist.  The Truth is all there really is, the rest is simply human experience leaning toward narcissism.  We’ve become obsessed with ourselves.  But is that surprising?  If you read the Bible it shouldn’t be…

You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be difficult times.  For people will love only themselves and their money.  They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful.  They will consider nothing sacred.  They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control.  They will be cruel and hate what is good.  They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God.  They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly.  Stay away from people like that.  2 Timothy 3:1-5

There is truly no denying that these things are occurring in mass.  But I believe the thing that is shocking us the most, is how prevalent this is within the church.  I feel like many of us expected the world to act this way, but we didn’t realize it would describe so much of the church.

He’s coming back for a pure and spotless bride.  The church of this age doesn’t appear to look like that very often. 

This is a season of consecration. 

God is setting us apart, within the church. 

Those who are lukewarm are being separated from the hot.  Those who have grown cold are completely moving out into the open and raising up congregations built on lies.  We see this all the time.  Misuse and misinterpretation of Scripture has become rampant. 

The Bible was never meant to be self-serving to our earthly agenda and our feelings.  It is the Word of God.  Sharper than a two edged sword.  Able to cut between bone and marrow.  It’s sharp.  It is concise.  It never changes or becomes outdated.  It was never meant to serve us.  It leads us to serve God.

It’s time to wake up.  It’s time to surrender to consecration and to be unafraid for God to come into our individual lives and show us if we have error within.  It’s time for God to invade the church and drive out the Pharisees and Sadducees.  Those who manipulate and use scripture for their own gain.

Today I challenge you to invite God to be your standard.  Let Him lead you into a holy life.  He is holiness.  I challenge you to separate yourself from the cold and lukewarm…and worship in the fire.  Let us not fear the world, who will be judged.  Let us fear only God.

Let the Consuming Fire fall on us all today, in Jesus’ name.

You stand up to judge those who do evil, O God, and to rescue the oppressed of the earth.  Human defiance only enhances Your glory, for You use it as a weapon.  Psalm 76:9-10

I’ve considered mankind lately.  I’ve wondered how we have grown so distant from all connection with the past and the world that God gave us dominion over.  I’ve wondered how we went from having strong family units, including extended family.  I’ve considered the way we once had a clear relationship with our food and grew it and prepared it…to now…most people hardly even consider any part of food growth and many don’t cook at all. 

It feels like most have become completely disconnected with the things God gave us dominion over when He first placed Adam and Eve in the garden.  It’s as if we’ve abandoned purpose because technology and convenience has led us further and further away.

Now, it must be a deliberate choice if we desire to reconnect with daily life and family. 

The thing I’ve found the greatest reward in since separating our family from what the world calls “normal”, is reconnecting with life.  Learning more about educating my children, leading godly lives, gardening, homesteading, cooking from scratch…really, connecting with the life God has given me.  If I feel the pull to be enticed back into the “normal” world system, I immediately imagine myself digging my fingers into the dirt and rooting my heart again.  I see myself re-focusing on the most important tasks God has given me in this season…and suddenly peace falls over me again.  Being connected has become a completely deliberate part of my lifestyle.  And I have a high value for it because I was once so busy that I lived a completely disconnected life. 

Does this resonate with you?

I have observed that when we are overly busy, we begin to completely disconnect from living, and simply begin to survive from day to day.  We act like we are leading our families in fulfilled lives, but really, they’re just busy lives lacking true connection.

One reason I know this is true is because the comment I receive from my kids about their friends,most often, is that they love being at our house and around us because we pay attention.  I cook for them.  We talk to them and treat them like real people. 

When I first realized this, I felt glad…but also sad.  Why is it that many adults treat kids like they aren’t really people?  It’s baffling to me.  But I know it’s true…and that’s why, years ago I began to truly attempt to speak to kids in a meaningful way.  A way that made them feel valued.  God gave me a desire to help kids feel heard.  To disciple them.  To lead them toward intimacy with God.  To treat them as valid.  To tell them the truth.  Their response has always been great respect and eagerness to learn.

If you want to know the truth, the only thing that’s hindered this is adult’s timetables and agendas.

I will never forget leading a worship time with high schoolers in PA…and revival started to break out.  Kids were flocking to the altar.  They were crying and confessing to one another.  They were reconciling.  It was beautiful.  Then an elementary teacher interrupted and cut it off because we needed to attend a gift exchange with the elementary kids.  I was so grieved.  The greatest gift those teens could have given the elementary kids, in that moment, was the example of what they were currently doing.  Showing what worship, repentance, and reconciliation looked like.

God’s greatest gift was being poured out and we simply didn’t have time for it.  It saddens me, to this day.

When I get to heaven I hope to hear, “Well done good and faithful servant.”, not “Good job maintaining your schedule.”

This all circles me back to what we are striving for.  We have the opportunity to take dominion over this earth.  But it requires us to live in a different way from the world.  The world has nothing real to offer.  We have the one Real thing. 

Many of us have been deceived into thinking that Christian ways are outdated and/or hateful, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.  We offer the one Real thing. 

We see evil people succeed daily, but we can rest assured that our reward is the only one that will last.  It’s a far greater investment to pour our lives out for others, than to hoard up that which won’t last. 

Evil people get rich for the moment, but the reward of the godly will last.  Godly people find life; evil people find death.  Proverbs 11:18-19

As I’ve grown in my relationship with the Lord, I’ve noticed that I have a far quicker turnaround, internally, when I receive bad news or something makes me angry, disappointed, insecure, etc.  Over the years, I have focused on training my heart to stay steadier.  Obviously, this is a work in progress for me, but the improvements I’ve made are significant.  I once was completely unhinged and unable to weather any storm with grace.  I once had a horrible temper, stemming from major wounding and insecurity.  I once was very unstable emotionally.  Then I began to receive heart healing and the result has been massive stabilization in my life.  Here’s what I’ve discovered…

The Holy Spirit is the pacemaker of our hearts. 

When we embark into a situation that is uncomfortable, we can lean into the steadiness that Holy Spirit brings to our hearts.  If we are suddenly under attack by the enemy, Holy Spirit brings the steady peace that we need to see clearly. 

Steadiness is required to see clearly. 

Walking in peace is a decision.

When we partner with Holy Spirit then we become stable.

One of my favorite verses is:

Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty.  I don’t concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me to grasp.  Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for milk.  Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.  Psalm 131:1-2

I even have a painting of this in my home. 

I speak this verse to myself when I feel I need to be grounded again.  When I want to choose stability. 

Most things in life are a choice.  Walking in maturity is a decision.  Being a person who is led by peace is a decision.  Remaining calm in all things is a choice. 

God provides each of us a foundation to lean upon, it’s our choice whether we use it or not. 

The world has glorified victimhood.  The world has glorified all sorts of mental illness and celebrates it.  The need to cling to the cross and separate ourselves from these things is greater than ever.  We are called to be light in the darkness.  One way we can do this is by offering ourselves as a stable influence in the midst of rolling turmoil. 

On Christ the solid rock we stand, all other ground is sinking sand.  All other ground is sinking sand. 

Today you get to choose.  Will you be led by peace or surrender to turmoil?  Will you choose to lean into Holy Spirit and allow Him to be your “pacemaker” or will you succumb to the enemy’s turbulence?  The decision is yours.

“Anyone who listens to My teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock.  Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against the house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.  But anyone who hears My teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.  When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against the house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”  Matthew 7:24-27

Another thing I’ve spent ample time considering lately is, believing.

The Bible tells us that if we ask for anything in Jesus’ name, He will do it.  So why have I seemingly had so many unanswered requests?

We are also told that if we believe and do not doubt then we can even tell a mountain to move, and it will.  This strikes the heart of believing.

Where is the doubt?  It must be there, whether we admit it or not.

Faith the size of a mustard seed doesn’t seem to be a large order.  Where is that kind of faith.  What am I missing?  What are you missing?  How do we get from here to there?

Have you ever seen a miracle happen?  I have.  I have prayed specific things and have seen those things occur with no external prompting.  It’s amazing.  It’s like touching the heart of God. 

I believe that’s why I long to live in that place.  The place where heaven touches earth.  It’s impossible to witness a miracle and not feel close to God.  That’s one reason I love it so much…that feeling of closeness.  I long for it actually.  Every moment I’ve spent in that closeness just drives me to desire more. 

To see God’s glory displayed on this earth is a great honor.  I believe we should be partnering with Him to this end far more than we do.

So, where exactly is the bridge from doubt to belief? 

We have faith in accordance with the measure that God gives us.  That’s an intriguing thought.  We need faith…the One we have faith in, give it. 

He truly is our everything.

What I’m beginning to see is that if I focus on loving Jesus, then I will meander into the miraculous more and more. 

Just recently when our family had a breakthrough and then a need, I handed that need squarely to Jesus and told Him that I knew He was our Provider.  I said, “You gave us (this thing) now I know it’s Your place to provide in the meantime, so do it.”  Like a butterfly leaping off my arm and flying away, that request went straight to the Father and in a matter or no time, we received a couple of miracles that more than took care of our need.

You see, lately I don’t pray for just enough…no…I pray for more than enough.  That’s because my God is a God of more than enough, so that’s become my expectation. 

Every day I’m working toward pushing my own emotional and intellectual boundaries, so I can experience a greater measure of Him.  Pushing past my known world and accessing the spiritual things.  The place where His glory dwells.  That’s where you’ll find me.

Won’t you join me there?

Then Jesus told them, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more.  You can even say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen.  You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it.”  Matthew 21:21-22

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires.  Psalm 37:4

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them.  “I tell you the truth, if you have faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move.  Nothing would be impossible.”  Matthew 17:20-21

I’ve given hearing God a lot of consideration lately.  Honestly, I think about it all the time…but lately, I’ve mulled it over a little extra.

When I reflect on the story of my walk with Jesus, I see that many pivotal moments happened after hearing God speak specific things.  It’s like the words He’s spoken over me and my family have stood as a fence.  A boundary, so to speak, and nothing is allowed to breach those walls. 

Ever since I gave myself to God…ever since I surrendered fully to His hand…He’s been marking my life. 

I’ve said many times that I was saved at 8 years old, but I didn’t surrender to God until 26.  I know that concept is hard for some to understand, but God has confirmed to me that it’s true.  I’ve been His since I was 8 years old.  When I made all the bad decisions and toyed with all kinds of bad behavior and ideas, I was just a secretly wounded person trying to find my way forward.

Sanctification looks different for each person.  I had no idea what that even was or that I even needed it.  Nobody in my life taught about it at all.  I was simply in God’s hand trying to figure it out.  I had come into the world wounded, and He knew that, and had enormous amounts of patience with me.  He knew what it would take for me to finally turn to Him.  He knew the exact moment that I would begin to cry out for Him every night.  He knew that I would eventually become a voice for Him.  The wait was worth it for Him.  And I believe the process was inevitable.  I came out of the womb in dire circumstances, that were obviously out of my control.  He knew He would spend years protecting me from being destroyed by the enemy of my soul.  The enemy of my voice.  The enemy of my heart.  The enemy of my testimony.  He also knew He would win.

Finally, I surrendered.

The weight of that surrender felt enormous but became light.  The threat of the enemy breathed down my neck at every pivot point. 

He lied to me incessantly.  He threatened me constantly.  He placed his voice in other “believers” to assault me consistently. 

But I clung to belief.

“You’re too much.”  “That’s not how we do it.”  “Submit to me.”  “Worship can only be 20 mins on a Sunday morning.”  “People at church aren’t comfortable with that.”

All the lies I heard on repeat.  Now…at this point in life, I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I will never compromise the voice of God in my life again.  No matter the cost.  No matter who opposes.  If a church doesn’t have room for Holy Spirit, then they don’t have room for me either.  I just can’t do it anymore.  Compromise riddles every part of church as we know it and I just can’t abide by it any longer.

I need Jesus.  I can’t pretend I don’t feel His Presence.  I can’t pretend I’m not led by Holy Spirit. 

When I learned I could hear God’s voice, and not only that…but that I’d been hearing it since I was 8 years old…that transformed my life.  Suddenly, so many things made sense. 

I can still recount moments when I heard a voice warn me about something, and when I listened, I avoided problems.  Then when I ignored it, trouble came quickly.  I can still remember times when my spirit felt moved and I knew something was dangerous.  Holy Spirit has been the most faithful companion to me, practically my whole life. 

All of this to say, when people doubt that we can still hear from God, I know they are sorely mistaken…because my life has literally been led by His voice.  I didn’t always realize it, but I have been hearing His voice since I was at least 8 years old. 

The best gift that “church” could’ve given me was an understanding that God speaks.  I often wonder why I wasn’t taught how to listen.

That’s why I am bound and determined to lead others into this truth.  God speaks.  His children will know His voice. 

Today I ask you, “Are you familiar with God’s voice?”.  If not, then I encourage you to take a moment and sit in the quiet and simply ask God to speak to you in a way that you can hear.  Then believe Him.  Believe the Voice you’ve been hearing all your life.  Believe that He would want to speak to His children.  What Father wouldn’t want to speak to His children?  Of course He does.

Sit and listen until you can move past your vigorous thoughts and tune into that still small voice that’s been attempting to guide you all your life.  I promise, it’s worth it.

Jesus replied, “I have already told you, and you don’t believe Me.  The proof is the work I do in My Father’s name.  But you don’t believe Me because you are not My sheep.  My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me.  I give them eternal life, and they will never perish.  No one can snatch them away from Me, for My Father has given them to Me, and He is more powerful than anyone else.  No one can snatch them from the Father’s hand.  The Father and I are one.  John 10:25-30

It can be human nature to try to forget difficult things.  I know that in my own life, as a child, things happened to me and my brain blocked those things for a long time…but even so, I had a lingering feeling of “knowing” something but not knowing it.  The memories resided in the sub-conscious part of my brain.  Now that those memories have been brought up by God for the purpose of healing, I am very grateful.

Now that I’ve received healing from so much, I hope I never forget. 

“Never forget?”, you may be thinking.  Yes, I never want to forget the way God has moved in my life.  I never want to forget how He revealed to me that He was present in all the bad moments of my life.  I don’t want to forget that He has healed me.  I don’t want to forget that I have forgiven those who trespassed against me. 

On the other hand, when God has blessed us, we should never forget.  We should recount our blessings frequently, so that we remember what He’s done for us.  We remember so we don’t forget that He is the way maker…not us.  It’s a huge thing to keep our lives in true perspective.  God makes our way.  We won’t be likely to forget if we keep a record of remembrance in our hearts.

You see?  We should never forget.

When we remember Who got us where we are, then we are far less likely to fall away.  If we remember Him Who made our way, then we are far less likely to grumble and complain. 

This is why they used to set up altars in certain prominent locations…so they and the generations to follow would remember God.  We must intentionally remember. 

Today, I encourage you to remember.  Write down the many times that God has been faithful in your life.  Write down the story of God pulling you out of the muck and mire.  Return to that and re-read it frequently so you won’t forget.  We must remember.  We must never forget.

Remember how the Lord you God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and find out whether or not you would obey His commands.  Yes, He humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors.  He did it to teach you that people do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.  For all these forty years your clothes didn’t wear out, and your feet didn’t blister and swell.  Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the Lord your God disciplines you for your own good.  So, obey the commands of the Lord your God by walking in His ways and fearing Him.  For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land of flowing streams and pools of water, with fountains and springs that gush out in the valleys and hills.  It is a land of wheat and barley; of grapevines, fig trees, and pomegranates; of olive oil and honey.  It is a land where food is plentiful, and nothing is lacking.  It is a land where iron is as common as stone, and copper is abundant in the hills.  When you have eaten your fill, be sure to praise the Lord your God for the good land He has given you.  Deuteronomy 8:2-10

When I was younger, the church would often showcase people who’ve always lived “holy” lives and didn’t get off track; and they deserved the best because of it.  I believed it whole heartedly as a young person.  So, I believed that my life would always be difficult because I’d made poor choices.  It just seemed like a glaring fact, supported by the “I kissed dating goodbye” community that was so prevalent in my early twenties.  That book served to further solidify my second-class station in the group of believers.  Additionally, I had interactions with churches that wouldn’t allow a divorced and remarried person to be a pastor.  I personally witnessed a really great man be denied a pastorate because he’d previously been married…even though he was now re-married.  So, clearly forgiveness wasn’t complete.  I’d always have a scarlet letter hanging around my neck.  This definitely made it seem that some sins were just too big for God to forgive.  It’s such hypocrisy.

Now that I’ve matured in the Lord, I can see these are blatant lies and tricks of the enemy.  He loves to contort God’s word and lie to God’s people, so they become toxic toward one another.  A perverted sense of righteousness ensues, and everyone feels like crap all the time. 

All of this stood in glaring contradiction to a God Who forgiveness stretches as far as the east is from the west.  I guess nobody really considered the sea of forgiveness back then. 

As I have gotten older, I’ve witnessed many of those people (the ones who never faltered and did it all correctly) be pretty shallow.  They seem to struggle with disappointment more than most.  They wrestle with forgiveness in a deeper way because they think they deserve the best…I mean, they did earn it…right?.

Then I considered this scripture…

Then Jesus told him this story: “A man loaned money to two people- 500 pieces of silver to one and 50 pieces to the other.  But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts.  Who do you suppose loved him more after that?”  Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he canceled the larger debt.”  “That’s right,” Jesus said.  Luke 7:41-43

There’s a reason a prostitute washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and expensive perfume.  There’s a reason I won’t compromise and attempt to remain so close to God.  There’s a reason people give up everything to follow Jesus.

We understand what it is to walk in wickedness and have the Creator of the Universe come and offer His hand to us.  For Him to pull us out of that muck and clean us with His forgiveness.  We are not less than.  We appreciate even more.

If God didn’t want to use the broken, he never would’ve redeemed David and Bathsheba, letting the fruit of their marriage birth the next king…Solomon.  If God didn’t use the formerly screwed up as much as the eternally righteous, he’d never have brought Moses back to free His people from Egypt after he’d murdered someone.  If God didn’t desire to redeem hearts, He never would’ve met Saul on the road to Damascus and brought forth Paul.  God uses the broken. 

We don’t receive less. 

He desires to use all of us, no matter how we started.  We are all valuable to Him.  We are all worth it to Him.  It’s time to stop pretending any of us is righteous without His covering.  Even our best attempts at righteousness are folly to Him.  We need Him.  He wants us.  Now that’s something to be grateful for…deeply grateful.