I’ve always been an observer.  I watch what people do and don’t do.  I think about the things I want to learn from others.  I also think about things they do that I don’t want to do.  I am always noticing.

One thing I’ve noticed, as I’ve grown up, is that many of the older women that I’ve known most of my life…who were moms to kids around my age and have now become more of a friend level with me…is a lot of bitterness.  I have often been shocked at the amount of bitterness I see in some of these people I grew up admiring. 

Bitterness is like a rot.

The bitterness I’ve seen in some people has made it so I rarely want to speak with them anymore.  Being around bitterness is very repelling to me.  I have learned that I literally recoil when I come around a bitter person.  It’s like my spirit feels that and wants nothing to do with it.  It’s almost like reaching a hand out and touching something really hot, and you yank your hand back and think, “I’m never touching that again.”  Have you ever felt this way?

Being led by bitterness will only lead you deeper into the grave.  This year we want to see God resurrect our dead or stagnant places.  In order to experience that life, you must cut off all bitter roots.

Bitter roots are like the stakes and rope holding down a hot air balloon.  Until those are removed, it cannot really fly.  The best hot air balloon experience is the one when you are freely floating around, high in the air.  Experiencing, what I imagine, would be such freedom. 

We must become untethered. 

Bitterness is also like a poison.  You drink it and slowly die.  It comes on slow and lingers.  Bitterness is death.

Today, I encourage you to take an honest inventory of yourself.  Have you unknowingly developed some bitterness in your life? 

Take a moment, close your eyes, and ask God to show you if you have any bitter places.  Remember, He turns the bitter waters sweet…so don’t be afraid of this process.

Once you’ve asked, if there was anything He brought to mind, don’t question it or try to make excuses…instead, hand it to the Lord…ask Him to forgive you, while you forgive whoever you’re feeling bitter towards, then ask God to fill that space inside of you with His healing honey. 

And don’t sin by letting anger control you.  Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.  Ephesians 4:26-27

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God.  Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.  Hebrews 12:15

This morning, while spending time with God, I started having memories of things I had not thought about in a while.  It seemed like a strange thing to think about, but I was remembering a meeting I attended.  This meeting was for leaders at the church we attended.  It was a series of meetings where we were supposed to read material beforehand, then meet to discuss, be taught, and grow as leaders.  In this particular meeting we were all in one room at a large table and the teacher asked, “What is your best attribute or asset as a leader?”  The room was quiet for a minute, then people began to respond.  When I took a turn to answer, I said, “Vulnerability is a strong asset for me.  I think people trust me because I don’t act like I have it all together.  I offer some vulnerability to them by being honest, then they know they’re safe to offer it to me in return.”  The room was silent and immediately I knew I had somehow answered wrong.  There was a disdain toward that answer.

It was so strange.  But it was also revealing and showed me that I wasn’t interested in what they were considering leadership.  I want to lead with truth and trust in Holy Spirit.  I don’t need to “have it all together”, I need Jesus.  I don’t need to be showy; I want Holy Spirit. 

I had noticed pretty quickly, in my time there, that I was after something completely opposite of most of them.  They were building their kingdoms, I wanted to build God’s. 

Furthermore, they wanted me to just go along and stay the standard.  To be plaid.  But, as God revealed to me this morning, He had called me to be paisley.  You may think this is a strange thought, but it is exactly what I heard God say when I had the above memory today.  He said, “You are paisley, and they were plaid.”

At first, I chuckled, then I saw plaid in my mind…a series of straight lines…no deviation, all moving in a series of horizontal and vertical straight lines.  Then I saw paisley.  A bunch of separate shapes that work together to make a beautiful pattern.  A different type of team that allows for each person to hear and respond to Holy Spirit’s leadership above all else.  It’s much the same way I lead people in the Six-Month Journey of the Heart classes that I teach.  My objective is that they would become so connected and in tune with Holy Spirit that they grow away from needing me.  I want to truly disciple.  Lead people to Jesus and help them establish their own walk with Him.  In essence, be paisley.  Individual yet connected in a beautiful pattern.  That’s really what I am all about.  It’s so fascinating the way God breaks down ideas sometimes. 

I know we are to work together in the body of Christ, but it’s in our uniqueness that we create the biggest impact.  We work together best when each person is allowed to and is appreciated for bringing their strengths to the team.  God has given each of us different strengths, which means when we walk together, we don’t have weak spots…everything is covered.  We become a force.

Plaid is safe and orderly and reminds me of the religious spirit.  Paisley is valuing the individual walk with Jesus and allowing growth while remaining orderly in the design. 

God is a God of order.  Yes.  But not of conformity, over relationship.  He wants us to follow Him. 

I want to interject for a moment…there are non-negotiables in scripture.  There are standards that never change.  I’m not talking about these things.  I’m talking about allowing people to grow in God, even if that means they eventually outgrow your leadership and need to move on. 

In our current western church culture, I believe there’s been too much weight given to pastor lead church.  One man above all.  His family revered above everyone else’s family. 

We are all valuable in the body of Christ.  We aren’t called to be celebrities; we are called to be servants.  We are to remain under God’s leadership first. 

I know churches have probably been hesitant to allow people freedom to grow in Holy Spirit because it can be messy.  Or misunderstood.  But real discipleship doesn’t seek to control others, it seeks to aid others in meeting, knowing, and growing in their own individual relationship with God. 

We must have the courage to trust God to iron out certain details within people’s hearts, rather than simply seeking to control them so it’s less messy.  I can’t be saved for you.  You can’t be saved for me.  We each need Jesus.  There is so much freedom to be found in allowing our lives to witness to people and letting God convict and change them.

For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  2 Corinthians 3:17

Here are some of the parts God has appointed for the church; first are apostles, second are prophets, third are teachers, then those who do miracles, those who have the gift of healing, those who can help others, those who have the gift of leadership, those who speak in unknown languages.  Are we all apostles?  Are we all prophets?  Are we all teachers?  Do we all have the power to do miracles?  Do we all have the gift of healing?  Do we all have the ability to speak in unknown languages?  Do we all have the ability to interpret unknown languages?  Of course not!  So, you should earnestly desire the most helpful gifts.  But now let me show you a way of life that is best of all.  1 Corinthian 12:28-31

So, my dear brothers and sisters, be eager to prophesy, and don’t forbid speaking in tongues.  But be sure that everything is done properly and in order.  1 Corinthians 14:39-40

Do you ever feel angry? Of course, you do.  We all do. 

Sometimes I look at the world around us; the injustices, the violence, the Godlessness, and I feel angry.  Sometimes I look at our government and feel incensed with their abject irresponsibility and unwillingness to consider actual people, over money.  I see the border flooding and feel so angry with the injustice of a government who is there to serve and protect us, allowing it to happen for their own political and financial gain.  I see one party accusing the other party of being the cause of all our problems, and I feel angry.  I see the media machine out right lying and then pretending we shouldn’t notice, just blindly believe them because “they have our best in mind.” All the lying makes me livid.

Other times I think about personal injustice.  Things that have happened to me or those I love that are obviously unjust.  Those instances really get me riled up.  When a person is unjust toward a loved one, it’s beyond difficult to endure.  Not to mention, injustices placed upon myself.  That is equally challenging.

Just typing all of that made me feel angry.  I have a justice personality, so I have an acute awareness of what I perceive as lack of justice, and it makes a warrior rise within me.  I also have discernment, so I see through the lies, into the truth…as a result, watching people fall for a lie is particularly angering to me.

But what are we to do with all of this? 

“In your anger do not sin.”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.  Ephesian 4:26-27

Anger is a breeding ground for bitterness.  When left unresolved it becomes a rot inside of our hearts and minds. 

We will get angry, but what we do with that anger is what matters the most.  Remember this verse…

Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay.” says the Lord.   Romans 12:17-19

We must leave room for God’s wrath.  When we choose to remain angry and hold a grudge, we interfere with God’s wrath.  Instead, we must leave room for it.  We must get out of the way and allow God to do what He will. 

When I feel the temptation to become angry, I tell God I’m angry then I ask Him to come and be Justice in that situation.  I allow Him to defend me and others because I can’t do it anyway. 

I encourage you, if you struggle with anger, meet with God…share that anger with Him, don’t hide from it.  Hold it before Him.  Go scream about it, somewhere you can be alone, and then let Him have the room to move.  He’s not afraid of your anger.  We don’t have to hide it.  If we instead, give it a voice and release it to Him…there’s no telling what He might do on our behalf.

Recently God provoked me with a thought.

But first, for context…When my kids are feeling the stretch of wanting to fill space with busyness because it’s uncomfortable to have down time…I tell them, “I am giving you the gift of boredom and you’ll thank me one day.”  I allow these quieter times in their lives because it gives them time to think.  Then suddenly they’re doing something creative…whether it’s drawing or playing pretend or building something…it’s amazing how quickly boredom leads to creation.  I felt good about this plan, then one day when I was feeling bored, God said, “I am giving you the gift of boredom and you’ll thank Me one day.”  What a novel idea.  God was using my own words to my children to convict my heart. 

Kids aren’t the only ones who need the opportunity to be bored.  We all need a space to allow creativity to begin to flow again. 

It was then I realized that most of us adults really miss out on this idea.  I am not the only parent who believes boredom produces the fruit of creativity, but I have NEVER heard any adult celebrate that same thing for themselves.  Until now. 

Even though it is awkward and uncomfortable, I have been practicing the art of leaning into boredom.  What does it stir me toward?  Most often I do, in fact, feel more creative when I reach that point.  Many times, I’ll end up at the piano worshiping.  Other times, I grab a book.  And sometimes I begin writing.  But another thing I’ve been doing is sitting still and closing my eyes and letting my mind wander. 

What thoughts do you find when you give yourself the time and space to think?  I have both stumbled upon areas of needed healing within my heart and found the joy of creating. 

Boredom can be a gift, especially in a world so chock full of distraction.  I believe this distraction is one of the enemy’s favorite weapons of warfare.  If that is true, then leaning into boredom is a great counter measure.

When is the last time that you just sat in the quiet and let yourself move past the initial peace of the quiet and into the discomfort of boredom…to find the sparks of creativity reignited?!

I heard someone say, “You can’t create when you are constantly consuming.”  That statement was a sharp sword in my gut.  It’s true.  It’s hard for something to come out of you when you’re constantly stuffing yourself. 

The bottom line is that we need space.  Just like when we talked about quiet the other day, we can take it a step farther and really begin to move creatively.  The world needs the creativity that God has stored within you.  Why not lean in and release it?!

I think of David when I think of boredom.  He was a shepherd, out alone all the time.  There were no cell phones at the time.  No iPad or tv.  No video games.  No, it was just him, the sheep, and God.  From that place he found himself to be a man after God’s own heart.  Now that’s worth it!

But now your kingdom will not endure; the Lord has sought out a man after His own heart and appointed him ruler of His people, because you have not kept the Lord’s commands.    1 Samuel 13:14

(Note: This was spoken while David was still just a shepherd.  It was his heart that gave him access to the throne.)

“After removing Saul, He made David their king.  God testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’”   Acts 13:22

In this season of my life, I’m still waiting on many things to unfold.  As a married couple, Chris and I started with nothing…built a business, sold it…built another business, and when our industry was shut down, we lost it.  It was a devastating blow.

We were reeling, to have lost something we’d been building for a decade.  All our income vanished, and the drought lasted longer than our carefully planned savings.  All our plans for the future were put on hold.  Grief came crashing in like a flood.  Wave after wave came, and at times, it has felt like it will never end. 

This part of our story has lasted way longer than we anticipated.

Did we do something wrong to end up here?  Have we failed God?  Has He failed us?  Were we irresponsible with the abundance we were given?  What on earth is happening?

In intimate moments God has answered all those questions and more.  He has been so kind. 

One day when the crushing felt particularly heavy, He spoke to me, “Lisa, I am not punishing you.”  Since that moment, I’ve clung to those words like a life raft out in the middle of the ocean.  They have buoyed me and helped me to be able to see a pleasant future for us after all of this.  Hope is a powerful thing.

As we’ve walked out these years of trials, I’ve discovered so much about God.  I’ve seen parts of His heart and loving kindness that I’m sure I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.  I’ve been humbled and found what is truly important in life.  We’ve discovered who our true friends are and who they aren’t.  And, in the end, we’ve found out what is truly important and what isn’t.

It’s been difficult.  Wildly disappointing.  But endlessly refining.  We’ve grown and matured so much.  And on this side of things, while still trying to rebuild our lives, I am grateful.

I’ve always been told to measure things by the fruit it produces.  The fruit from this season has been so sweet, juicy, and abundant.  Our family has been forged together in this fire of adversity.  My husband and I have found a depth to our marriage that didn’t previously exist.  We’ve learned much more about true commitment.  We’ve been found by each other.  Our kids have blossomed in ways I could never have imagined.  Yes, even in the midst of our trials, I would say I am completely grateful.

But recently, God began to speak to me about one thing. 

I mentioned grief at the beginning, and navigating that grief has led me to ponder the past a lot.  At times, I physically ache for what once was.  I have longed for a restoration so deeply that at a point it was hindering me from moving on.  It was then that I heard the Lord say, “Lisa, I want you to live forward, not backward.”

Like a knife to the heart of my dreams, I knew I had to die to them again.  Sometimes we die to something one time and that’s it.  Other times dying to something comes in layers.  This has been multi-layered…but when God spoke those words to me, I knew it was the final countdown.  The last time to put those dreams to rest because change is coming. 

It was time for me to believe that God has something new for us.  Something far better than what was.  I do believe that. 

Yesterday, I heard something that really moved my heart…this lady said, “When God closes one door, He opens two.”  Now, I had never heard that before, but when I did, something beautiful rose up inside of me.  A cry of victory came out of my mouth, and I felt revitalized.  I now, believe in this, and will speak it over my life.  “Where God has closed one door in our lives, He will now open two.”

“Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.  The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for Myself that they may proclaim my praise.”  Isaiah 43:18-21

Do you often think about love?

I do.

I wonder what it really looks like.  I wonder if many people know real love.  I wonder why it can be so difficult to give and receive.  I wonder why the world gets it wrong, so often.

What is love?  Real love.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.  Now remain in My love.  If you keep my commands, you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commands and remain in His love.  I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.  My command is this:  Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.”  John 15:9-14

From these verses it appears that true love is tethered to obedience to Christ.  And interestingly, we also find joy and love, hand in hand.  We remain in His love so our joy may be complete.

Love isn’t found apart from God, rather it’s found in Him…as we also remember these verses…

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  1 John 4:7-8

God is love.

This makes me pause and really question those who insist God doesn’t exist, or if He does, He shouldn’t be trusted.  If God is love, then how can a person who doesn’t believe in Him know love at all?  One thing I’ve noticed is that nobody likes to tell believers what our love should look like, more than those who claim not to believe in God at all.  

Worldly love is a demand.  Worldly love is self-serving.  Worldly love is conditional upon getting one’s way.  Worldly love insists that to be loved or loving you must agree with that person, no matter what. 

That’s simply not true.

If God is love, as scripture states, then I suppose we should look at God for the answer.  What is He like?  How does He show love to us?

His love challenges us.  As we read earlier this week, He allows trials so we can be complete.  His love is joyful.  We read above that when we are in His love then His joy is in us.  His love is sacrificial.  We also read above that the greatest love lays down it’s life for a friend.  Yesterday we read that we share the truth in love.  Love is honest, not harsh, but truthful.

The “love” the world offers is like a black hole of ambiguity.  God’s love is concrete.  Solid, if you will.  Something you can rely on.  It doesn’t change.  It never fails.

I encourage you to meditate on the following verses today…and forevermore.  When you have a question as to what love should look like in any given situation, think about these words…

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Do you feel like a steady person?  One who can face life’s challenges with a steady heart?

For many years I felt like the person this verse described…

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.  Ephesians 4:14

I felt like an infant.  I didn’t know how to ground myself in the Truth.  I certainly didn’t know how to do what these next verses describe…

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him Who is the head, that is, Christ.  From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows, and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.  Ephesians 4:15-16

Then I began to pray…

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within Me.  Do not cast me from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.  Psalm 51:10-12

I began to realize that I must always remember the joy of salvation if I want to be steady.  I must also maintain a willing spirit to be sustained.  Willing to do what? You may be asking.  Willing to listen.  Willing to obey.  Willing to forgive.  Willing to always follow God in a childlike trust.  The worst thing I could ever do is believe that I have somehow outgrown utter and complete dependence upon God. 

Yes, we should mature in Him.  But what I’ve discovered is the more I mature in Him, the more I realize how much I need Him.  He is my focus.  He is my constant Confidant.  He is the ear Who needs to hear my complaints.  He is my very best Friend.

When we allow God access to our entire life and invite Him into every part of every day, then we become steady.

Is it important to be steady?  Yes, it is if you want to be lacking in nothing. 

Consider these verses…

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  James 1:2-4

I wonder, when is the last time you counted it joy when you faced a problem?  Have you ever thanked God for the troubles in your life?

I never would have considered it before, but a few years ago, while pondering these verses and living through a tidal wave of one problem after another, I began to thank God.  I would thank Him for the troubles and thank Him for already having a solution waiting to be found by me.  I began to thank Him for loving me enough to allow these trials to mature me.  I thanked Him for creating ways for me to be made perfect and complete, lacking nothing.  I still consistently thank Him for all these things.

I wonder how this perspective might also change your life.  It has revolutionized mine…and it also turned what the enemy was using as weapons against me, into weapons I use against him.  Now that is a true victory. 

For the last couple of years, I’ve been consistently drawn to quiet. 

Layer after layer, God has pulled off the busyness…and once it’s gone there is an emptiness…and in the emptiness, I’ve found true quiet.  Quiet is not only about a lack of noise, because sometimes things feel quiet. 

Quietness is having an open space, whether it’s through free time, space to focus, your mind being clear of the clutter of thoughts, being alone, or freedom to be a family.  Quiet comes in a variety of ways. 

God has brought quiet to my life right in the middle of a homeschooling, family focused environment.  While having a home with 3 teenagers bustling around, and a 21-year-old learning how to build his own life, and my husband working out of town all week long, we’ve found a beautiful quiet.  It’s something that looks a lot like contentment.

Early on, as a wife and mother, I felt so grounded and content in the home.  It was comforting to have the rhythms of home life.  I found security in creating a stable and steady home environment.  But, as I allowed my friend group (at the time) to influence me, I began to be pulled out of our home and into foreign rhythms.  Suddenly, I gave into lots of demands and expectations from others.  It was a mistake.  My insecurities and desire to fit in superseded the God given desire to cultivate home.  Years passed and God allowed time to unwind me to the point of realizing what I had forfeited…and in His lovingkindness, He drew me back to His original plan for our family…to be based in the home.  To make all my decisions after first considering the entire family, not just what I want and not to please others outside the home.   

Culturally, there has been a draw to neglect family for years and years.  It was a slow pull out of family life and into everything else.  Years were spent allowing the family unit to fall apart.  But I’m so relieved and excited that the current revolution is focused on the restoration of family. 

When family is cultivated, quiet ensues.  And where quiet exists creativity, wisdom, growth, and many other beautiful attributes burst forth like flowers that had been hiding under the snow fallen ground just waiting for spring.

God is in the quiet spaces.

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.”  Isaiah 30:15

If you are having trouble hearing His voice or sensing His presence around you, then my first question would be, “How often are you quiet?”  If you struggle to feel God’s peace, I would ask, “What kind of home environment are you cultivating?”

We are each responsible for the home environment we have.  Especially if you are a mom.  Moms establish the temperature and tempo of the home.  No matter what your family dynamic is, you can transform it, if you are intentional. 

I decided that since I grew up in a home where I felt unwelcome and nervous, I wanted to create a safe home.  A place where friends are welcome and my kids feel tended to, listened to, and valued.  A place where we all felt safe to bloom…try new things…become who God intended us to be.  The most surprising part of this was how easy it was to do when I was simply intentional.  A home that carries these values, is a quiet home.  Remember, I am talking about something much deeper than actual noise…I’m talking about a quiet body, mind, and spirit.

But I have stilled and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.  Psalm 131:2

I don’t know exactly when it happened, or why, but I feel like many of us have lost strength…and even the desire to be strong. 

Our current culture glorifies weakness to the point of making almost everyone a victim.  It seems like victimhood is worn as a badge of honor.  I am 100 percent certain that God never intended this to be so.

It’s true that He says, in our weakness He is strong…but there’s a HUGE difference between being a victim and allowing God to be strong in your weakness.  One of those is set on certain defeat, while the other is focused on victory through the Lord.

We are called to be strong and courageous.  We are victors, not victims.  So, where did our strength go?

I’m going to challenge you with this concept…I believe our strength has waned because we’ve lost so much joy.

Yes, you read that right, JOY.

Remember this scripture?

Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared.  This day is holy to our Lord.  Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”  Nehemiah 8:10

That’s right, the joy of the Lord is our strength.  So, what would happen if people lost joy?  Weakness. 

The times when I have struggled the most, were the times that I lost joy.  Fortunately, this point in my life, I have found a deep, abiding joy.  I feel it every day and even when I’m struggling with big issues.  That internal and irrevocable joy carries me.  It does this because it is strength from God.  Real joy is not based upon circumstances.  It’s a deep certainty in our soul.  A knowing.  A faith that everything will always work out for good. 

This joyful mindset is what grants us enormous strength.  It separates us from unbelievers and gives them a reason to wonder if we might just know something that they don’t.  Our joy can absolutely draw them to the cross of Jesus.  Isn’t that a wonderful thought?!

Strength from the Lord isn’t pushy, like the world.  Strength from the Lord is a solid, steady sureness.  It doesn’t have to be forced or forceful.  True strength is often quiet and still because it’s so certain.  Jesus displayed the greatest strength we will ever see, in His quietness, as He allowed them to taunt, beat, and crucify Him.

It’s breath taking to imagine that level of strength.

And why did He do it? 

For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider Him Who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.  Hebrews 12:2b-3

Circles right back around to joy.  For the JOY set before Him, He endured.

Today is a great day to put on joy. 

If you’ve been feeling weary, just ask for joy.  Ask and He will listen to you…He wants your joy to be full.

I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.     John 15:11

Praise be to the Lord, for He is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me.  My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him.  Psalm 28:6-7

Distracted. 

I don’t know a single person who is not constantly distracted.  It’s become a rare treasure to find someone who doesn’t live a life distracted by all the things.  Distracted by busyness, social media, phones, striving, all the problems in our country, problems abroad, ungratefulness, comparison, fear…the list could go on forever.

We’ve become one nation distracted. 

What a brilliant tactic of the enemy…well, not really brilliant, but easy.

As the Lord has been consistently changing me and reprioritizing my life, I find myself constantly praying, “Lord, I want my mind back.  I want to know what I think and how I feel, not how others think I should.”  As I hold my phone in my hand, I hate it.  I despise the fact that at the current moment, I can hardly go through a couple of hours, much less the day without my phone…partly because where we live, there is no possibility of internet, so I must use my hot spot to do school with the kids and any research.  My life feels tethered to this small rectangle that feels like it’s ruining my ability to have undistracted time. 

This year, I want to break up with my phone.  I’m praying we finally get to move this year, and in doing so, can have internet at our home.  I’m also wanting to find other ways to fill the gaps that a phone so easily seems to fill.  My phone is not my friend.  Social media doesn’t make me less lonely, no, it amplifies loneliness.  I want real life.  Real connection.  I want to sit at our dinner table with people and talk about something or nothing for hours while we eat good food and laugh a lot.  I want to sit at my piano and worship, both alone and with others, and host the Presence of God through undistracted times of worship.  I want to know people…and be known by them.  I want to know myself. 

As a child, born in the 70’s, I never imagined a world like we have today.  It was a slow fade, that’s for certain.  Once we were riding bikes all over creation, now kids hardly go outdoors.  Partly due to safety, partly due to being tethered to devices and partly due to convenience.  I want to see my children restored.  When we step away from all the devices, it’s amazing how quickly creativity begins to re-emerge within them. 

It’s like the power struggle of the ages…holding onto real life, while the world is cramming counterfeits down our throat at a breakneck speed.

It’s time to resurrect wholeness.

God, restore wholeness to my life.  Remove all distraction from within me, that I may be fully devoted to You.  Forgive me for giving parts of myself to these distractions.  Protect me, even from myself.  Lead me into creativity and imagination.  Restore my family’s connections.  Restore all of our views of what real life is supposed to be.  Lead us into wholeness with You, both now and forevermore.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Teach me Your way, Lord, that I may rely on Your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name.  I will praise You, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your name forever.  For great is Your love toward me; You have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead.  Psalm 86:11-13