Day 19: The deep well (January 19)

In my soul I have a deep, deep well.  I’ve seen it many times.  It once was covered and impenetrable until God came and touched my heart in a way that brought the first wave of freedom to it.  The touch that gave access.  Some parts of our hearts have guardians over them….unholy guardians.  Some parts of our hearts need to hear God’s truth before the guardian can lose its foothold within us.  This was such a place for me.

When the well was finally uncovered, I saw nothing but a darkness inside.  Darkness and a lot of pain.  This was definitely not the release for which I had so desperately hoped.  Something about myself that I still don’t fully understand is, when I have been faced with very difficult situations in the past a part of me would block that memory from my mind.  For a person who has devoted herself to being healed and set free, this is very challenging.  But over time, I realized it was God’s grace over me.  His grace held a hand over places I couldn’t bear to face without Him, and then when I was ready, He would show me only what I needed to know in order to walk out healing, and then protect me from the rest.  What a loving Father.  It’s no wonder I trust Him with my heart so much!

This deep, deep well should be filled with Holy Spirit and instead had been like the water wells of old.  It hadn’t been used in such a long time that a bunch of, for lack of a better word, gunk had been dumped on top.  Life had been heaping lie after lie into the deep well of my soul, and I, unable to defend myself and decipher the truth from the lies, had been battered and war torn and left depleted and empty.  Oh how much we need Jesus.  We need to seek open ears to Him and to become well acquainted with our Fathers voice.  How can we joyfully and successfully navigate this life without constant communication and affirmation from our Daddy?

My life’s purpose during that season was to be healed and to know His voice.  To build a real relationship with the Lover of my soul.  God is so tender.  He is so patient. What is time to Him anyway? Our measure of a day and His are so strikingly different.  I once complained to God that I had prayed for something for a whole decade.  His response “Is that all its been?”  Ha!  We have no concept of eternity on this poor rock on which we live.  My God Who spent years and years gently wooing me to His heart.  He followed me to the utter depths and still just stood there letting His light show me the way out.  No condemnation came from Him, only loving affection.  Only tender kindness.  His love is something I have no doubt about.  He loves me alright, with a driving passion and fire that consumes all of my sinfulness and selfishness and leaves me with arms stretched toward Heaven and a mouth shouting out His praises.  In His presence is the only place I find fulfillment in life.  It’s my goal every day to be in His presence and praise Him with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength.  To be a reflection of the love of Heaven to the earth.  I want to reflect His glory on the earth.  I want to leave snail trails of Holy Spirit wherever I go.  I want my life to leave a fragrance of Heaven everywhere I go.

God make me fragrant.  Bathe me in the perfume of Heaven and let anyone who comes close to me feel Holy Spirit inside as they drink in the fragrance You have poured out on me, in Jesus Name.

 

 

“But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” John 4:14

 

“He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.” John 7:38

 

Then he showed me a river of the water of life, clear as crystal, coming from the throne of God and of the Lamb, in the middle of its street On either side of the river was the tree of life, bearing twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit every month; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. Revelations 22:1-2

 

Be imitators of God, therefore, as beloved children, and walk in love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant sacrificial offering to God.  Ephesians 5:1-2

 

For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. 2 Corinthians 2:15

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