This morning as I pressed into the Lord, I came feeling desperate to meet with Him. Starting to walk out this year long devotional journey has been wonderful, but has also come with a cost. He has invited me into a partnership with Him that is unlike anything I’ve done before. I have always enjoyed the fact that so much of my walk with Abba is private. Now, He is taking our relationship public.
I didn’t realize it until just now, but that’s part of what makes this so incredibly stretching. I am by nature, really open and honest with people, but I hold my private things very sacred. I find delight in having secrets that only Chris and I know. I enjoy the intimacy I feel when he and I meet in the confines of our bedroom and we share the contact that no other person on earth gets to experience with either of us. It may sound weird, but I really like some sacred intimate secrets. I love that I know Chris better than any other person on this earth, and I love that he is the one that knows me best.
I am realizing that for every open part of me, there is a secret part. I worship very publicly, but I first worship privately. I love people very openly, but I love my family in the confines of our home first. Most people know that I am a runner, but I enjoy it most when I do it in the confines of my home. I love to teach and speak about God, but I first love to sit and listen and spend time in the secret place. I now love to write and share, but I first spent years and years journaling my heart and His words.
These thoughts bring me to the conclusion that, for me to “do” life well, I must first “do” home well.
Take a moment and evaluate your life. Are you well established in the secret place? Have you spent time cultivating a solid “home” foundation? It’s never too late. If you realize that you are living outward too much, then stop and take a breath and ask God to give you the courage to evaluate your commitments and motives, and be willing to make changes. It’s ok if others don’t like you stepping back and becoming more focused on the secret place. You are choosing the way of “Mary”. Sitting at Jesus’ feet is never a wrong answer.
As I walk through my days, I am constantly aware of all the “Martha’s” I see. People who are wearing themselves out, and for what? Who really benefits? If you are so over committed and exhausted that you cannot do any task well, then maybe you are doing too much. We all have busy seasons, but if you are honest with yourself then you will know the difference between having a busy season and living in busyness.
One important thing I have learned is, if I continue to do something (i.e. ministry, volunteering, etc.) that I’m not called to do, then I am standing in the way of the person who should be doing it. People won’t fill a position that is already filled. Sometimes, we need to go through the stretching discomfort of an empty position in order for another person’s heart to see the space and be moved by God to take action.
God, I invite You to speak to my heart. Is there anything I’m doing in vain? Have I over committed myself? I give You permission to weed out my schedule. Help me to never let go of Your guiding hand. And God, I pray you would doubly bless all of my efforts as I walk in obedience to Your voice. I love You Abba. I am Yours. In Jesus name, Amen.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
The eternal God is a dwelling place. Deuteronomy 33:27a
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42