Day 96: Worried about being a disappointment (April 6)

Recently as I was preparing to speak to a women’s group, I began to feel nervous.  Then I thought, “Why am I actually nervous? There’s no real reason for me to feel any of this.”  Then God said, “You feel nervous because you don’t want to disappoint Me.  What you don’t realize is, you could never disappoint Me.”

Then like a flood, I saw that God never feels disappointment like we do, because our disappointment is based on expecting one outcome and getting another.  God never experiences that feeling.  Before we are born He knows every day of our life so nothing we do is ever a surprise, and He knows exactly when our pivotal moments will occur.  He knows when we will succeed and when we will fail, and He’s already planned for it all.  That took a load of pressure off me! Do you feel relieved too?

As I typed this out, I was seeing another angle of this.  Sometimes, I really get upset with myself for feeling disappointed, but now that I’ve had the above revelation I can look at the feeling of my disappointment as another thing that reminds me that I am not god.  Often, disappointment floods over me and is out of my control.  I shouldn’t feel shame for that.  I can however determine how I respond to that feeling.  I don’t have to entertain it.  Just because a visitor comes knocking at the door, doesn’t mean they must be let in.  Sometimes, I can’t control the fact that disappointment is knocking at the door of my heart, but I can acknowledge it and then begin thanking God for all the good things He’s done in my life.  That is how we learn to dance upon disappointment.  It’s not about avoiding it, it’s about acknowledging and then taking command.

So how do you feel after looking at disappointment from these two angles?

Have you struggled with disappointment?  Do you feel like God is disappointed with you?  I assure you, He is not.  Do you feel the guilt of carrying disappointment around in your heart?

If either of these applies to you, then I encourage you to come to the Father today and lay down these negative and false thoughts.  Ask Jesus to introduce you to the Father and see His delight over you.  Ask Him to teach you how to dance upon disappointment.  Take some time and rejoice over all the blessings in your life.  He is good.  I will say it over and over again, He is good.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.  You are serving the Lord Christ.  Colossians 3:23-24

I lift my eyes up to the hills.  From where does my help come?  My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.  Psalm 121:1-3