Day 116: Aching With Purpose (April 26)

Sometimes, the call I feel God has put on my life seems to swirl over me and all my smallness and I literally ache with purpose.  Some days, when I worship at home alone with God and I see glimpses of things that are unusual, I ache to share it with those I’m close to, but words fail to express the height and depth of those moments.

There have been moments in worship at home, where I have been singing with my eyes closed and have seen so many things.  One day while doing that, I suddenly was in a hospital room and saw a baby in an incubator and the parents were standing nearby desperate to hold their little one.  God moved me to begin to sing over that baby and I saw a cloud fill the incubator and knew Holy Spirit was holding that little baby.  Then suddenly, I wasn’t there anymore.  I looked up and saw a woman whose arms were empty.  I knew she’d recently lost a baby.  I sang and asked Holy Spirit to fill her arms with hope and saw a cloud come into her arms and peace release.  Next, I was swept away to a hut, in a foreign land.  The ground was dirt and it was dark inside and I felt fear was in that hut.  I saw a glimpse of a trafficked girl, not completely but I knew she was there.  I began to fill up from my toes to my head, with a song of freedom and redemption that seemed to consume my whole being as I sang out!  I sang until I couldn’t sing anymore.  And then I opened my eyes.  Suddenly, I was back in my music room.  It is weird to be abruptly brought back to my “real world” after an encounter like that.

How do I walk in the world while holding hands with eternity?  How do I live life while the song of heaven is playing over and through me? When I feel I am aching with purpose and want to share the God I meet in the quiet place, how do I live normal life?

I find myself asking this question over and over again.

God, how do I walk in this world while I see things many others don’t see?  Please guide me with every step.  Keep my heart humble as I walk with You.  Help me remember that it is ONLY through You that I receive anything I have.  Help my eyes be covered with Your love for humanity.  Break all measuring sticks in my life and teach me how to live and move and breathe in You exactly how You created me too, without any comparison to others.  Likewise, help me to never hold others to the measure You have poured over me, rather let me see how You have uniquely made them to thrive in Your Presence.  Lord, I want to be like You.  I want to be counted a faithful servant.  I am fully Yours.  I adore You, in Jesus name, Amen.

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes our from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.  Isaiah 55:10-11

He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.  Ecclesiastes 3:11

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