Deeper Day 126: Just Be

There have been so many times in my life that I’ve been afraid of being successful. You may be thinking, “What?! Why would anyone be afraid of that?” Well, there are a few reasons, but here are a few, first of all in the past I have fought this fear of having success one time and then not being able to maintain it. You know the saying, “She’s a one trick pony.”? I’m not sure where or when that lie rooted within me, but I would literally hear that saying in my head sometimes when I tasted a moment of success. Then instead of savoring the joy of success, I was stuck fighting off the insecurity of letting everyone down. That’s sad, I know. Sad or pathetic, I’m not sure which one.

The good news is, I’ve grown to a place where I no longer cower to that. When I hear that phrase in my head now, I just say, “Well, I may be but God’s not and He’s the One Who gave me the idea in the first place.” Like with these devotionals, when I did my first 365, I had moments early in the process when I would fear running out of things to say, but everything I write is inspired by Holy Spirit and over time I realized that I would never run out of content because Holy Spirit is infinite and this devotional writing endeavor was God’s idea in the first place. Since I live a life led by the Holy Spirit, I have a safety net in everything I do. I know I cannot fail. Even if I have a moment of let down, I know success will follow over time, because He never fails.

Second, I have battled a fear of others despising my success. I am so sensitive to other’s feelings and emotions, as a discerner, that at times it’s crippled my willingness to outshine others because I didn’t want them to feel bad. I now know how completely unhealthy that is, and I no longer feel this way, but in a moment of honesty I wanted to share this just in case someone else struggled with it too.

Now I know that my success will encourage others. I have found that people are always there to champion me. My husband is my first and foremost encourager. He is always behind the scenes, helping me filter through ideas and thoughts. He is a sounding board for all that I do. I also have one specific sister that listens and helps me process every plan or idea that I have. She is a natural encourager and since we are sisters, I feel freedom to tell her everything because she knows my heart better than most and she sees me through what she knows of my heart, not through suspicion. Which leads me to a final hindrance of mine when it comes to walking out success.

As a child I have very clear memories of my grandmother telling me you shouldn’t compliment people straight to their face because they could get the “big head”. This rooted a very damaging lie in my heart and mind for many years. Pulling that thing out has required a lot of prayer and releasing. I’ve done the severing of the lie and reinforcing of the truth, but if I’m honest (which I always try to be with you) I would tell you that to this day I still struggle with this one. I’ve become so afraid of arrogance that instead I will default to stepping aside for others. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I’m still learning and emerging, but now you know that in my head this is what I’m battling.

Prayer Moment: Take a moment today and ask God to show you if anything is standing between you and experiencing success in your life. It is a worthwhile exercise to make sure that you’ve done everything in your power to allow a steady flow of blessings into your life. He desires so much for you, don’t you want to taste and see His goodness? Take this time today to listen to Him and journal anything He says so you can return to it and monitor your deliverance from the lies. I love you and pray for a full measure of release over you today.

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations. Psalm 33:11

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6