This morning I’ve been contemplating exactly what it is that has hurt my heart so much, regarding some women I’ve had friendship with that ended. None of these relationships had any sort of blow-up or problem that I knew of, but each ended, none the less. For years I was baffled and just hurt. Then I realized that what happened was they saw the friendship to have no value and cast it off. I see every relationship as valuable, so simply casting things off is rare for me. I am wired for deep relationship with people. I’m not a surface friend. When I forge a friendship, I give myself to it. This is both a blessing and a risk…but it’s a risk I continue to take. I honestly don’t know how to do life differently. I am an honest and open person, so that’s how I build relationship with others…with openness and honesty, and I expect that in return. I have come to realize that in friendship, I am very trusting and believe the best of people. Sometimes, to a fault.
I have come across one woman after another who seem to have no idea how to be open and honest. Self-protection and looking good seems to be the name of the game in a large chunk of Christian women. I crave honesty and real connection. I love the give and take of conversation and life shared together. I love comfortable friends. People who know they are welcome in my home and welcome me into theirs without pretention. Unfortunately, that’s not the way many others see things.
I’m still longing for what I’m describing. Once or twice, I have had really comfortable friendships. They are rare. A real treasure.
Years ago, I had a friendship and they rejected one of my children…using that child as an excuse to distance from us. I will never forget the pain of it all. But right in that moment, God spoke, “The stone the builders rejected will become the cornerstone.” I know that scripture describes Jesus, but in that moment, it was a promise straight from God to me, that my child would be very useful to His kingdom one day.
People won’t always value you. Not everyone is meant to be a friend to you. But I know one thing…Our value never changes with God. He is meant to be a friend to all. People will let us down, but our God is our best Friend.
When the world casts you off, and acts like you don’t matter…look up. See the Father’s eyes fully focused on you and remember where your value comes from.
The stone the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone. Psalm 118:22
“Didn’t you ever read this in the Scriptures? ‘The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone. This is the Lord’s doing, and it is wonderful to see.’” Mark 12:10-11