On the morning of the day that Chris and I renewed our vows, I sat with God and was thinking about my love for Chris and my love for God.  I was reminiscing about how my love for Chris and his for me has grown as I’ve grown nearer to God.  Then I realized that as I grow in my love toward Chris, I always feel closer and more deeply in love with God.

I was struck by the wonder of it all.

Then God showed me a circle, and He showed me that the thoughts I’d been pondering were a part of His plan for marriage.  Marriage is meant to be an exclusive circle.  A circle including one man, one woman, and God…and as each pursues the other, they grow closer to all.

What a beautiful revelation.  A beautiful truth.  Marriage was always meant to bring us closer to God. 

We really dumb marriage down and take away it’s beauty when we make if about being happy.  It’s not about being happy, it’s about growing.  Growing in our love toward God and each other, constantly.

There’s a reason that the Bible tells us a man must leave his family and cleave to his wife. 

It doesn’t say, cleave to her family.  No, it’s just her. 

Two become one…and the fruit of it overflows to create another family.  Then that family grows, and each will leave and cleave and create another family.  What a beautiful thing.  God is truly a wonder.

I’ve received a lot of marital advice over the years.  But none compares to what God has taught me.  He teaches me everything I need to know.  He is responsible for creating a bond between Chris and me.  He is the One Who holds us together. 

It’s funny, every time I boil life down, I realize yet again that we are best advised when we walk closely with God.  Taking our advice from the only One Who truly knows best.  Laying aside our earthly ideas, concepts, perceived rights, etc. and clinging to the Father. 

I didn’t see this devotional going this way, but it must be said…

If we are to successfully navigate this life, we must learn to hear and respond to God’s voice.  All wisdom is found there.  All peace is found there. 

He is everything. 

The beginning and the end…and of course, the middle. 

I’ve been given some good advice by people, but that is often few and far between, if I’m honest.  The best advice I receive from people is from others who take time to sit at His feet.  Those who spend their lives growing.  Learning.  Living with God in every moment. 

Take heed who you take advice from.  Observe others and learn from their wins and losses.  Don’t do things just because that’s all you’ve ever known.  Look to God in all things.  All.

That’s where you’ll find wisdom…and eat the fruit of JOY.

Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction.  The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.  Proverbs 18:20-21

But you have received the Holy Spirit, and He lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true.  For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what He teaches is true- it is not a lie.  So just as He has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.  1 John 2:27

I mentioned that last week, Chris and I renewed our vows, but I didn’t mention that two days before that we celebrated Naomi’s graduation.  Back-to-back parties.  It was equal parts amazing and exhausting.

When we were in the planning stages, I really practiced walking in the blessings of God.  Each preparation came as a blessing.  So many purchases that I made were at a steep discount.  Most of the money needed for our vow renewal came from someone tithing to it, as a blessing. 

When I sit back and consider all the things that fell into place for these events, it’s quite obvious that God was ever-present. 

He truly is so beyond faithful that it’s overwhelming.

There’s a concept that keeps showing itself to be true.  Whatever we are doing, everything works best when we move in the timing of God and allow Him to let things fall into place.

That’s the way I moved through all of our planning.  I only went shopping for things when I felt God moving in that direction.  I asked for help when God prompted me.  I stayed in His timing…and suddenly everything fell into place.  We did just what He directed and called it enough.  Then instead of adding to our trouble, we remained in a position of peace.

These two events were my favorites, so far. 

The funny thing is that I say that after every event I plan.

Learning to follow God’s leading in all things makes things better and better.

These past events make me more certain than ever that at the exact right time, God will move us onto our farm.  My confidence is bolstered, once again.  I’ve been refreshed in this most interesting way.

Life can be like this all the time.  We can stay in God’s timing all the time.  We can be refreshed by each instance.  It’s our choice.

He is our ever-present help in trouble.  Our faithful Shepherd.

 Direct my footsteps according to our word; let no sin rule over me.  Psalm 119:133

The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul.  He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake.  Psalm 23:1-3

I’ve noticed there’s a trend.  A trend of believing that wealth makes us safe.  That somehow our wealth can buffer us from disaster.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Yes, wealth can be used as a weapon, but it could never protect you from God.  Wealth could never buy your way into heaven. 

I recently saw an article about a church that was selling lots in heaven…I’m sorry, what?  Why on earth would anyone fall for that scam?  It seems impossible that anyone would be so naïve, but alas, they appear to be.  Honestly, I believe it’s laziness that leads to this type of gullibility. 

“Laziness?”, you may scoff.  Yes, Laziness.

The people have grown so dependent upon pastors and leaders, even celebrities, that they don’t know how to make simple decisions on their own.  The majority of people don’t read the Bible for themselves.  Most don’t worship God on their own, they only attend a weekly service and count that worship as their own.  Many, if not most, worship leaders aren’t actually worshiping God when they lead…so where are they leading us?  Self-worship. 

Love of self is the idol of the day. 

The pastors love themselves, to the point of idolizing.  The worship leaders love themselves, to the point of idolizing.  The children’s pastors and youth pastors love themselves, to the point of idolizing.  So why wouldn’t the body be following suit?

We must die to ourselves.  Daily.  Die to the spotlight.  Die to always feeling comfortable.  Die to self, that God may live through us.  

Jesus is the only way to heaven.  That has never and will never change. 

No pastor can sell you real estate in heaven.  It’s almost too hilarious to even think about.  A real dumbing down has occurred in the church.  That’s from a spirit friends.  The deaf and dumb spirit…

This spirit is openly operating within the church.  In the last church I was a part of, I literally felt that deaf and dumb spirit trying to descend upon me.  Fortunately, God wouldn’t allow it and He pulled me out of it.  I had wondered why I had felt so numb and was struggling to feel depth anymore, then suddenly I saw it for what it was.  I believe now that God allowed me to be in that so I would see that this is a prevalent problem in most churches these days.  I’d never experienced anything like that before.  A church full of people who seem involved, yet in most of their eyes I saw a void.  An emptiness.  I couldn’t figure it out for the longest time.  I couldn’t understand it until He gave me revelation.

We all need to see and understand.  We must be sharp in this hour.  We must be fully aware of what is true. 

Wealth doesn’t bring knowledge or wisdom.  It also doesn’t bring safety.  Most importantly, it cannot save your soul.  Remember these things when you decide who to follow and who to take advice from.  If you believe someone is smarter merely because they are wealthy or famous…you are going to be easily led astray.

Read your Bible.  Surrender to God.  Follow Jesus.  Listen to Holy Spirit. 

The rich think of their wealth as a strong defense; they imagine it to be a high wall of safety.  Proverbs 18:11

What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit Who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us.  This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.  1 Corinthians 2:12-13

Herald: An official messenger bringing news.  A person or thing viewed as a sign that something is about to happen.  Be a sign that something is about to happen.

We are in a season of heralds.  We must pay attention to voices, but we must also be discerning.  There will always be voices of truth…there will also always be voices of liars. 

Discernment is a key in the life of every believer.  We must operate in discernment.  God gives us discernment and the Holy Spirit as counselor.  You see, we are equipped with everything we need.  We are capable, as spirit filled believers, to discern with the help of Holy Spirit, what is true.  What is good.  What is beneficial.  What is holy.  What is evil dressed as goodness. 

It’s almost like we have a superpower…that superpower is Holy Spirit!  We have the one true defense, the wisdom of Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit came upon the apostles and suddenly they had power. 

It’s a season for believers when we can no longer tolerate walking in ignorance of Holy Spirit.  Do you remember what happened as soon as the apostles became baptized in the Holy Spirit?  From then on, they made sure every other believers knew of this baptism.  It’s time to stop fighting over whether or not the Holy Spirit still moves on the earth…what nonsense is it to say that Holy Spirit was released for a moment, when Jesus said, “I am going so another can come.”  He didn’t say, so another can come for a time.  He knew we would all need Holy Spirit to make it through times steeped in deception and lies. 

Holy Spirit’s guidance is necessary for the body of Christ. 

I have grown up around many people who are cessationists.  Because I loved them, I avoided talking about any of that.  I was such a coward.  I don’t want to be a coward anymore.  Holy Spirit is my best Friend…why would I hide that?  Am I ashamed?  Certainly not. 

Are you ashamed of the gospel?  Are you ashamed of the power of Holy Spirit? 

It’s time to rise up!! Rise up and stop being bullied into silence by the church.  Stop being bullied into silence by the lost.  Rise up and live in power!  The world needs Jesus.  We must be willing to share Him with them…and then the baptism of water and Holy Spirit.

While Apollos was at Corinth, Paul took the road through the interior and arrived at Ephesus.  There he found some disciples and asked them, “Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?”  They answered, “No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit.”  So Paul asked, “Then what baptism did you receive?”  “John’s baptism,” they replied.  Paul said, “John’s baptism was a baptism of repentance.  He told the people to believe in the one coming after him, that is, in Jesus.”  On hearing this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.  When Paul placed his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they spoke in tongues and prophesied.  Acts 19:1-6

Today, I feel like leaning into the theme we began yesterday, just a little more. 

As we allow ourselves to feel more holy emotion, we also can more aptly let go and just love.  Have you ever felt yourself hold back love for someone? 

I have. 

I have felt love come over me as a tidal wave, and then turned away from it because I was afraid of how it might be perceived. 

What is the greatest love?  To lay down one’s life for a friend.  That’s pretty big, right?

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  John 15:12-13

We all desire to be more Christ-like.  But do we even know what it means to lay down our life for a friend?

I don’t believe we really do.  But I believe we can grow in this.  But first, we must allow ourselves to love others, and stop being ashamed or afraid of it. 

I know that sometimes I hold back my love for others because I’m afraid they’ll feel overwhelmed by me.  That they will misunderstand my heart and could hurt me.  That’s a risk I see Jesus taking all the time, don’t you?  We can’t be constantly counting the cost…otherwise, we’ll never spend our love. 

When one rejects our demonstration of love, they are not necessarily rejecting us.  They are rejecting God’s manifestation of love through us.  That’s not our offense to carry.  Let’s consider what true love looks like by re-reading that old standard verse from Corinthians…

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8

If we walk in this holy type of love, we have nothing to fear.  God will keep us as we offer what He’s lavished upon us all.  That holy love.  Unselfish.  Humble.  Honoring.  Trusting.  True love. 

Chris and I renewed our vows last week.  On the third we celebrated our 20th anniversary, and that same day some friends and family met on our property to witness our renewed commitment to each other.  It was a beautiful and intimate time for our little family.  The kids were part of everything.  They joined us in the wedding party, we did a family dance surprise, they set off a ton of fireworks for us all at the end.  It was everything I dreamed, and more. 

As we were leading up to this event, I kept feeling myself overcome with the symbolism and beauty of the whole thing.  Tears would well up and I’d almost sob.  The kids kept talking about how excited they were, and tears would come up and go again, unreleased.  Then I began to wonder, why do we hold back our emotions so much?

Of course, I know we don’t want to be led by emotions.  But I’m talking about letting others know how much they mean to us.  I am also talking about letting our families know exactly what they mean to us.

One thing I’ve worked really hard to do is just that.  Letting my husband and children know how deeply I love them, how much I appreciate them, and how special they each are to not only me, but to God. 

With all of this in mind, I stopped holding back.  I cried multiple times the day of our renewal.  I cried during it, as well as my children.  I watched my stoic husband break down in tears while telling me how he feels about me, in front of our witnesses.  It should be emotional.  It’s ok.  I’m proud to love him.  I’m proud to love my kids.  I’m proud to love each friend that I’m really close with.  I’m tired of holding that back.

I’m not too much.  The world is just too afraid of showing true feelings. 

I have decided that from now on I want to let my loved ones know they are loved far more often than I have in the past.  And I’ve also decided that the people I feel unsafe around, well, I’ll not feel bad about allowing more distance to come between us.  Codependency has held me captive for far too long. 

God, please break off my need for approval from those who don’t even care for me.  Help me to let those people go.  Help me to embrace people that do truly care for me.  Teach me to walk in love that is not codependent.  Teach me to stop trying to fight for approval from those who have no desire to give it to me.  Make me secure in You, and You alone.  You are my everything.  I adore You.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Ephesians 3:16-19

Recently, I was thinking about making decisions with God.  I always look for Him, or wait for Him, or listen for Him, etc.  I was asking how I proceed with the anointings He’s put on my life.  I really wanted to know how to not make mistakes and get swept away the wrong direction.

Suddenly, I saw an artist’s paint pallet.  I was holding it, and God was showing me that in our lives He gives each of us colors to paint with, then we paint as He holds our hands and guides us.  That is, if we let Him.  Some yank their hands away from Him and insist on painting their own way.  Others never paint at all because of fear, disappointment, or a myriad of other things.

Then I knew.  He isn’t afraid of me being bold and painting away.  Because I’ve asked Him to guide and protect me.  So, everything I paint will be in the realm of beauty. 

Imagine it this way.  As I paint the broad strokes, His hand isn’t on mine.  Instead, it’s giving me an area to make choices safely.  Then, in the detailed parts, He gently comes and places His hand over mine as He guides and directs.

We do get to make choices on our own.  And yes, of course, He already knows what we will choose.  It’s a beautiful dance between our Sovereign God and His children. 

I suppose the whole point of today’s writing is to say, don’t be so worried about making mistakes that you never even put paint on the pallet of your life.  Likewise, don’t be so willful that you refuse to allow your heavenly Father to guide and direct your path.  Instead, use the fruit of self-control and live a joyful and peaceful life.  A life full of adventure and satisfaction.  A life well lived with God.

I encourage you to lean into God today and ask Him to show you the paint pallet of your life.  What are the paints He’s given to you?  How will you choose to use them?  The possibilities are so unique, if we will simply allow Him to be a part of our process.  We are each so unique, that He can meet and exceed every need our world could have if His children would simply lean in and listen.  And not be afraid to be used in different ways.

God, come and use me in a unique way.  Teach me to paint well with the pallet You’ve given me.  Show me new things.  Teach me new ways.  I trust You.  More than that though, I long to be used by You.  Please don’t let any of the paints You’ve entrusted me with, be wasted.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Yet You, Lord, are our Father.  We are the clay, You are the Potter; we are all the work of Your hand.  Isaiah 64:8

He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.  Ecclesiastes 3:11

I was busy the other day.  Several big events are happening in our lives this week.  We’re having to coordinate with our family, extended family, and friends to finish out this week with two parties at our home.  We’re excited.  We’re also tired.  You know that living regular life and adding big events creates a busyness that we don’t often experience.  It’s so good though.  It’s been a true bonding experience for our family, so far.

As I tried to sit with God at the beginning of the day though, I felt a busy bee buzzing around inside my entire being.  My mind was whirly, my body felt antsy, my emotions were beginning to feel flustered.

I saw down to steady myself and find God in the moment…and immediately, I saw a cup.  Then suddenly, I was sitting next to a calm stream of water.  I dipped the cup in to this crisp, cool water and heard God say, “Take a drink of Me.”  I drank and felt that feeling when you’ve been really hot and thirsty, and you can feel the water refreshing your entire body.  That super exhilarating feeling of refreshment. 

Not surprisingly, I immediately felt calm.  I thanked God and took His hand as we went out to embrace the day.

Today, I want to invite you to this still water.  God is the water to our souls.  He refreshes those who will draw near to Him. 

A glorious throne, exalted from the beginning, is the place of our sanctuary.  Lord, You are the hope of Israel; all who forsake You will be put to shame.  Those who turn away from You will be written in the dust because they have forsaken the Lord, the spring of living water.  Jeremiah 17:12-13

On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to Me and drink.  Whoever believes in Me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”  By this He meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were later to receive.  John 7:37-39a

He is our water.  Come to the stream of Living Water.  Come and dip your toes in and be refreshed.  Lean into His chest and hear His heartbeat.  Dip your cup in the stream and drink of Him.  Be refreshed and truly live.

Have you ever been apart of any type of production that had a green room backstage?  The place where all the performers, speakers, actors, whoever is involved can relax and visit privately outside of the purview of everyone else.

I believe that sometimes we have green room seasons.  Times when we are not seen much publicly.  Times to focus most on the main “actors” in our life.  Times of being set apart so we can connect fully with those in our “cast”. 

Like a couple that just gets married, there’s always a season when those two hideaway because they are enraptured in loving each other and the newness of married life.  They need the green room to protect them as they learn to navigate life as two, instead of one. 

Does this all make sense?

I feel like far too many are more worried about missing out on the big production, therefore missing the honor and blessing of the green room.  The hidden place.  The exclusive spot. 

None of us should be driven by the need to be seen…by anyone but God.  I do want Him to see me.  I do want to feel seen by Him.  But that is a totally different thing than longing to be seen by man.

Being seen by God requires vulnerability.  Willingness to not appear perfect.  Actively pursuing Him privately. 

He sees us.  We know that.  But you also know, if you’re honest, that there are different ways of being seen. 

My husband sees me.  That means, he notices me and all my nuance, and draws near to meet me or gives me space accordingly.  Being seen by Chris means that he sees me now, but in the reflection of all our years together too. 

That’s a lot like what it is to be seen by God.  He sees you…now, then, and in the future.  It’s a wonderful thing. 

I challenge you to be seen today.  Ask God to come and look upon you as you look upon Him.

I call on You, my God, for You will answer me; turn Your ear to me and hear my prayer.  Show me the wonders of Your great love, You Who save by Your right hand those who take refuge in You from their foes.  Keep me as the apple of Your eye; hide me in the shadow of Your wings.  Psalm 17:6-8

I know God has been giving me an opportunity to grow in some of my weakest places lately.  You know, we all have those places where we wish we could change.  Places that feel immature.  Broken places. 

He’s been using life circumstances to agitate those places within me.  To agitate them to a place where I can begin to choose more wisely.  I’ve had multiple opportunities to simply be quiet.  To be quiet in times that I would normally try to defend myself or explain myself.  God keeps whispering to me, “You don’t owe them anything.  You don’t have to explain yourself to people who have no interest in understanding you in the first place.  You don’t have to defend what I am doing in you.  Holy Spirit bears witness to Himself.  I will defend what I am doing in you…you only need to let Me.”

Burn it off, Jesus.  Burn off my desire to be understood by every single person I come in contact with.  Burn off my fear of man.  Burn off my desire to look good to others.  Burn off everything except my desire to know You more.

Burn off the ways of the world.  Burn off the desires of my flesh.  Burn off the wrongs I’ve held onto.  Burn off all resentment and bitterness.  Root out the things of this world and lead me into Your presence. 

Burn off everything that isn’t You, Jesus.

Burn off every wrong expectation.  Burn off everything that isn’t of You.  Burn off every memory that haunts me and makes me feel I need to make excuses for myself.  Burn off all shame. 

Burn off everything that isn’t You, Jesus.

It’s no coincidence that the world has the burning man concert…satan always manufactures counterfeits of You, Jesus.  Let the fragrance and incense of our lives be holy.  We burn for You and You alone.  We worship You.  No devil worship can exist within us, Jesus.  We worship only You. 

Burn it off, Jesus.  Make us holy.  In Your holiness, we become holy.  You alone make us holy.

Teach us to stand in the waterfall of Your presence, every day.  To commune with You daily.  To include You in our whole lives, not just part.  You alone are worthy.

Come Jesus. 

Burn off everything that isn’t You, Jesus.

God gave Paul the power to perform unusual miracles.  When handkerchiefs or aprons that had merely touched his skin were placed on sick people, they were healed of their diseases, and evil spirits were expelled.  Acts 19:11-12

Then Elisha died and was buried.  Groups of Moabite raiders used to invade the land each spring.  Once when some Israelites were burying a man, they spied a band of these raiders.  So, they hastily threw the corpse into the tomb of Elisha and fled.  But as soon as the body touched Elisha’s bones, the dead man revived and jumped to his feet!  2 Kings 13:20-21

These two men lived lives that allowed God to burn off everything but His Presence and power.  I want to be like that.