Recently as I was preparing to speak to a women’s group, I began to feel nervous.  Then I thought, “Why am I actually nervous? There’s no real reason for me to feel any of this.”  Then God said, “You feel nervous because you don’t want to disappoint Me.  What you don’t realize is, you could never disappoint Me.”

Then like a flood, I saw that God never feels disappointment like we do, because our disappointment is based on expecting one outcome and getting another.  God never experiences that feeling.  Before we are born He knows every day of our life so nothing we do is ever a surprise, and He knows exactly when our pivotal moments will occur.  He knows when we will succeed and when we will fail, and He’s already planned for it all.  That took a load of pressure off me! Do you feel relieved too?

As I typed this out, I was seeing another angle of this.  Sometimes, I really get upset with myself for feeling disappointed, but now that I’ve had the above revelation I can look at the feeling of my disappointment as another thing that reminds me that I am not god.  Often, disappointment floods over me and is out of my control.  I shouldn’t feel shame for that.  I can however determine how I respond to that feeling.  I don’t have to entertain it.  Just because a visitor comes knocking at the door, doesn’t mean they must be let in.  Sometimes, I can’t control the fact that disappointment is knocking at the door of my heart, but I can acknowledge it and then begin thanking God for all the good things He’s done in my life.  That is how we learn to dance upon disappointment.  It’s not about avoiding it, it’s about acknowledging and then taking command.

So how do you feel after looking at disappointment from these two angles?

Have you struggled with disappointment?  Do you feel like God is disappointed with you?  I assure you, He is not.  Do you feel the guilt of carrying disappointment around in your heart?

If either of these applies to you, then I encourage you to come to the Father today and lay down these negative and false thoughts.  Ask Jesus to introduce you to the Father and see His delight over you.  Ask Him to teach you how to dance upon disappointment.  Take some time and rejoice over all the blessings in your life.  He is good.  I will say it over and over again, He is good.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.  You are serving the Lord Christ.  Colossians 3:23-24

I lift my eyes up to the hills.  From where does my help come?  My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.  Psalm 121:1-3

I often think about, and have previously touched on, the importance of our “yes” to God.  This week has been full of opportunities for me to respond with “yeses” that are stretching for me.  Each time an opportunity would arise, I determined that I would push through the fear or discomfort and agree with whatever God wanted of me, right in the moment.  No, I did not hear the question and then go away to the Bible and search out examples of Him moving that way in the past.  No, I didn’t call people for confirmation.  Many times, I would do both things, and that’s so good, but what about the times when our “yes” needs to be immediate to be useful?  Are you prepared to do that?  Do you trust God enough to let Him guide you even when you feel blind?  Do you trust His covering over you so completely that you know He would never lead you astray and if you ever possibly “missed it” He wouldn’t be upset about it, rather He would later show you the error and help encourage you for the next time.

That’s the God I know.

That’s the God I trust to lead me where I have not yet gone.

That’s the God I trust to lead me when I can’t see anything ahead of me except His hand.

That is relationship.

Friend, God is not some stern disciplinarian Who is afraid of your mistakes.  We’ve already discussed how nothing surprises Him anyway.  I have grown to be more afraid of missing out than misinterpreting His voice.   Anyway, even if I did miss it, there’s growth in making mistakes and then making amends for them if necessary.

Can you finally let go and just respond to Him?  Can you say “no” to fear and “yes” to the subtle nudge of Holy Spirit?

If we truly want to see His Kingdom on earth as in heaven, then we must be a people of “yes”.  In a day and age where most things are scrutinized beyond necessity, let us come back to the simplicity of obedience to the gentlest nudge or tug on our hearts.

God, I am so grateful that You are present.  I am so glad that You are always nearer to me than my very breath.  This gives me great confidence.  You are a God Who is not afraid of me.  You are not afraid of my mistakes.  Thank You for that.  Thank You for valuing relationship so much that You would allow me to learn how to hear Your voice.  Thank You.  Open my ears to clearly hear You and quicken my responses.  I trust You to lead me.  I love You, in Jesus name, Amen.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.  Now remain in my love.  John 15:9

You are my friends if you do what I command.  John 15:14

“Am I only a God nearby,” declares the Lord, “and not a God far away?  Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?”  declares the Lord, “Do not I fill heaven and earth?” declares the Lord.  Jeremiah 23:24

Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord?  To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.  1 Samuel 15:7

I saw myself today in what reminded me of the center of the earth, but it was also like a drum.  I was laying on the ground in a crouched position with my ear to the “drum”, and I was hearing God’s heartbeat over the earth….It was like meeting Him in my secret place, simply to listen to the tempo of His heart.  How can I know what to do without remaining centered inside the heart of the Father?

It was an amazing and awe-inspiring moment.

I knew in that vision that I was receiving my “marching orders”.  The coolest part was how near Him I needed to be to receive them.  He wanted me fully centered and so near His heart.

I love the way God consistently speaks to me in such intimate analogies and visions.  He loves relationship.  He loves being near to us and He loves for us to learn how to be nearer to Him.

Take some time this morning and listen….First listen to your own heartbeat, then ask God to let you feel and hear His.  Doesn’t it bring you such a peaceful feeling?  The steadiness of His heart.  Confidence bursting with every beat.  He is magnificent.  He is a true picture of power and leadership, covered in gentleness and grace. He is our Abba, our Father.

God is really that good!  He is all He said He was, and He will do all He said He will do.

I feel in my spirit that some of you are so afraid of not hearing truth that you have brushed away the hand of the Holy Spirit.  Maybe you turn a deaf ear to His voice because you’re so afraid of being led astray by your own thoughts.  If that’s you, please take a moment and ask God to shine His light and Truth on those concerns.  I have learned, the best way for me to safe guard against responding to a false word in my mind is to always allow God full access to my thought life.  Many years ago, I was so afraid of being tricked into believing a lie, I would box God in…and sometimes box Him out.  I was so afraid to trust any part of myself that I was missing out on hearing God’s voice.

If you struggle with this, please know you’re not alone.  Please also know that you can trust God to protect you.  One day God opened my eyes to see He would protect me even from myself.

I often pray that God will protect me even from myself.  I am so passionate about walking near Him that I won’t even let myself stand in the way.

If you struggle with any of the above statements, then I encourage you to pray this prayer.

God, thank You for being trustworthy.  Lord, as I learn to recognize Your voice more and more please protect from being tricked or mis-led, even by myself.  I know You are an attentive Father, so I know I can trust You to teach me.  I know it’s ok if I make mistakes sometimes.  Thank You for being a gracious and patient Teacher.  Right now, I lean into You.  I am listening for Your heartbeat.  Establish my life in the tempo of Your heartbeat.  Lead me, not into temptation, but deliver me from evil.  I will trust You, in Jesus name, Amen.

And He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.”  For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.  Mark 6:31

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.  1 John 4:1

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.         Matthew 7:7

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.  2 Timothy 2:15

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32

Today while running, I saw a room open in front of me.  In that room I saw a whole bunch of instruments and each one was solid gold.  I looked around and asked God what He wanted me to see.  I wondered if I was to learn a new instrument, but then I saw a gold shofar and He said, “Be My shofar.”  The sound of the shofar has been called, the shout of God’s victory.  It’s also said that the custom was to blow the shofar every day beginning the second day of Rosh Chodesh Elul continuing until Ere Rosh Hashanah (except Shabbat), that this will encourage you to “return to the Lord and listen to His voice” (Deut. 30:2).  Could it be that the God of the universe wants to use me to sound the victory cry?  Well, one thing is for sure, no matter what He tells me….even if it seems too wonderful for me to comprehend…I believe Him.

We were all created for different purposes in life.  None is greater than the other, really.  They are all simply different.

What “sound” are you called to bring to the earth?  What “sound” are you to release into Heaven? Do you know?  Have you taken time to not only know God, but also dared to imagine that He truly created you to do something that no one else ever created will do?

Once, I asked God, “Who am I like, God?  Will I be like David or Moses or Deborah or Esther?”  He replied, “You will be like Lisa”

That struck me so deeply.  From that moment until this, I have been consistently pressing into His heart to only become Lisa.  I don’t need to be like you.  You already exist, and you are filling that space.  No, I want to be Lisa.  Once you settle inside that it’s ok to be unique and it is truly ok for God to use you however He pleases regardless of other’s opinions or “theologies”, a huge burden will lift off you and you will begin to feel a peace and significance that you never have before.

I challenge you today to meet with the Father and ask Him, “What part am I to play?”  “How am I to be used for Your Kingdom?”  Ask Him to take you into your instrument room and show you what sound you are to release into the earth.  And once He does, believe it!! Don’t shy away from a calling that seems larger than anything you feel you can complete because it should be bigger than ourselves, otherwise we wouldn’t need God to fulfill it for us.  Dreams are only big enough when God is the only one who can make them happen.  I believe that.  Do you?

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music; make music to the Lord with the harp, with the harp and the sound of singing, with trumpets and the blast of the ram’s horn (shofar)- Shout for joy before the Lord, the King.  Psalm 98:4-6

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.  1 Corinthians 12:27

For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness.  He is the head over every power and authority.  Colossians 2:9-10

Today while running and thinking about wrapping up Easter devos, I saw Jesus standing on top of a mountain.  He was wearing a long white robe and was carrying what I immediately knew was a walking stick.  He spoke to me, “Now that the work of the cross is finished, I want to walk through life with each of you.”  Then it struck me, before He was crucified He could only be in one place at a time, but now that He has ascended to Heaven He can be with all of us at once if He wants.

It then reminded me that part of the great resurrection plan was individual access.  God had been speaking to and through a few prophets here and there, and then there was silence for a time as all creation awaited the birth of the Savior.  Then He came and was so closely tuned into heaven that He set a great example of relationship with the Father for us to glean from.  But now that His walk on earth as a man is complete, He is ready to walk with each of us.  He is interceding on our behalf this very minute.  The Son of God and man has made a way for us to all enter the holy of holies.  In fact, I feel like we carry that inside of us when we accept Jesus as our Savior and receive the Holy Spirit.

How much attention are you paying to the One Who walks beside you?  Are you aware that His presence in your life is constant once you ask for Him to reside inside your heart?

Today, the challenge is simple, go to your quiet place and just ask….”Jesus, will you walk with me today?”  Ask Him to make you aware of His presence beside you throughout the day.  He is our ever-present help in times of trouble.

(The following “song” kept circling through my mind as I wrote the words above)

Jesus, walk with me.  Oh Jesus, walk with me.

Through the valleys and mountaintops remain my faithful guide

Oh Jesus, walk with me.

Jesus, walk with me.  Oh Jesus, walk with me.

Through all the triumphs, trials and toils

Oh Jesus, walk with me.

When the path seems cloudy and I cannot see a thing,

Oh Jesus, walk with me.

At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.  The earth shook, the rocks split apart and tombs broke open.  The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life.   They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and went into the holy city and appeared to many people.  When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “Surely He was the Son of God!”  Matthew 27:54

This morning we woke to another fresh snowfall.  As I sat in my piano room for quiet time and gazed out the window at the trees heavy laden with snow, I heard “Though my sins are scarlet, You have made me white as snow.”  (It’s also beautiful because I am writing this devotional strictly upon the move of Holy Spirit, and it’s 2 weeks from Easter, but day 91 will be Easter Sunday! How Sovereign is it since I don’t plan these, I simply write them as they come to me!)

I never truly tire of the beauty of snow.  Sure, it’s sometimes inconvenient, but isn’t it always beautiful?  It can cover the ground so thoroughly, and for so long up here in the north, that I forget what the ground looks like.  Doesn’t that remind you of God’s blood covering our sins?  His blood covers us so completely that sometimes, I can forget what life used to be before Him.  This is both a blessing and a concern.

It is truly a blessing to completely feel forgiven, it is not however, good to forget how much you needed forgiveness because as soon as you forget, you can become so harsh with others who are struggling through a different stage of their journey.  Sometimes we can lose grace for those who are walking through what we’ve already walked through.

So today, I want to challenge two different sides of the coin, so to speak.

First, if you have been redeemed by Jesus, then rejoice! Though your sins were scarlet, He’s made you white as snow.  When Jesus rose from that grave He took back the keys from death and offered us eternal life.  He alone made a way to heaven.  Thank You Jesus for this!!  Never let me forget the first moment I felt forgiven.  Let it always be on my mind.  Don’t ever let my heart become calloused to all the blessings I’ve received.  You are my constant Source.

Second, never forget that it was HE that made you white as snow, not any striving of your own.  Keep your life in clear perspective of Jesus.  Let Jesus be the lens with which you see the world.  If we continue to look at life through the eyes of one who knows how precious redemption is, then we will treat others with the grace necessary to draw them closer to their redemptive moment. Help me act in a way that will draw others to the redemption I’ve received.  Help me walk in a wholeness that releases wholeness over others.

I will never forget all You’ve done for me.  To God be the glory for the things He has done.

Jesus Has Risen:   On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb.  They found the stone rolled away from the tomb,  but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead?  He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ” Then they remembered his words. 

When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and to all the others.  It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the others with them who told this to the apostles. But they did not believe the women, because their words seemed to them like nonsense. Peter, however, got up and ran to the tomb. Bending over, he saw the strips of linen lying by themselves, and he went away, wondering to himself what had happened.

On the Road to Emmaus:  Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. They were talking with each other about everything that had happened.  As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him.

He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?” 

They stood still, their faces downcast.  One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?”

“What things?” he asked. 

“About Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place.  In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning but didn’t find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive.  Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see Jesus.”

He said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow to believe all that the prophets have spoken!  Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?”  And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.

As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus continued on as if he were going farther. But they urged him strongly, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.” So he went in to stay with them.

When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”

 They got up and returned at once to Jerusalem. There they found the Eleven and those with them, assembled together and saying, “It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon.” Then the two told what had happened on the way, and how Jesus was recognized by them when he broke the bread.

Jesus Appears to the Disciples:  While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.”

 They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost.  He said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds?  Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have.”

When he had said this, he showed them his hands and feet.  And while they still did not believe it because of joy and amazement, he asked them, “Do you have anything here to eat?”  They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate it in their presence.

He said to them, “This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms.”

Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. He told them, “This is what is written: The Messiah will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day,  and repentance for the forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.”

The Ascension of Jesus:  When he had led them out to the vicinity of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them.  While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven. Then they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God.   Luke 24

I keep seeing a person that looks like a marionette (puppet) with strings pulling each arm and leg, and a painted-on smile across their face.  Then I thought, “I am a marionette no more!”

When Jesus died on that cross, He conquered death.  When I asked Him into my heart, I was no longer a slave to my sin nature.  I am no longer a slave to fear.  I don’t have to hide behind the façade of the world.  I am a child of God.

You don’t have to be a slave to sin and fear anymore!  But are you walking free?

The enemy roams around, and tries to “pull our strings”, but we aren’t held by those strings anymore.  It’s like this, when we ask Jesus into our hearts we become free from the prison we’ve been living in.  Yet, some of us still sit in that same cell, even though the door is open.

Stand up friend!  Walk free!  Take the first step of freedom.  You are not held by those prison walls any longer, you are not safer in that small space.  No!  You are actually safer outside the prison of your heart walking with the Lord.  It’s that upside-down Kingdom we’ve talked about before.

I challenge you today, as a prophetic act of the freedom you have in Christ, share God’s love with someone you don’t know today.  Yes, I know that thought struck fear into some of your hearts, but don’t let those walls threaten to close you back in.  Stretch into the freedom of sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I once was lost, but now I’m found.  Was blind, but now I see.  Let the whole world know! We should be simply brimming to tell the good news of Jesus!

God, thank You for the cross.  Thank You for salvation.  I love walking in Your Presence.  Today, I ask You to infuse me with the boldness, courage and opportunity to share the gospel with those around me.  Cloak me in Your grace so I can deliver the message covered in Your gentleness and mercy.  Give me the opportunity to love You by sharing You with someone today.  Lord, if someone asks me hard questions, I pray you would quicken my mind and pour out right response over me and if I don’t know the answer, give me the humility to admit that.  I am Yours.  Use me.  I adore You, in Jesus name, Amen.

What I am saying is that as long as the heir is a child, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate.  He is subject to guardians and trustees until the time set by his father.  So also, when we were children, we were in slavery under the basic principles of the world.  But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman born under the law, that we might receive the full rights of sons.  Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.”  So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.  Galatians 4:1-7

“ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.  But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ “  Luke 15:31-32  (never forget who you are and where you’ve come from.)

When I was up spending time alone with God this morning, I looked out the window and saw a glorious red and orange sunrise coming up from the horizon.  I immediately had the thought of a Phoenix rising.  (A phoenix is a mythical creature, a long-living bird that cyclically regenerates or is otherwise born again.  It obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor.)

Immediately, I knew God wanted to speak through this in a devotional……and this message just “happens” to fall on Good Friday.  (It is astonishingly cool to partner with Holy Spirit and write just from obedience and find He is more aware of our calendar than I am!)

Jesus died on the cross so that we could be born again.  It makes me wonder if the mythical idea of the phoenix wasn’t loosely based on this transaction.  Jesus took our sins upon Himself on that glorious day and not even death could defeat Him as He determined to create a way for us to have unhindered access to Him.  It’s amazing.  It’s humbling.  We should remember this every day of our lives.

You, my friend, are like a phoenix rising from the ashes.  Did you notice in the explanation of the phoenix that it obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor.  Hmmmm.  I died to my sin nature and gave myself to Jesus to be re-born.  We trade our ashes in for beauty, as the song says.  The parallels seem to be unending.

What does a phoenix look like?  They are gloriously beautiful fiery creatures. When we are born again, we become full of the Light of Christ.  Essentially set on fire inside with the love of Christ.

You are a glorious sunrise.  You were meant to burn bright for the world to see.  Jesus didn’t sacrifice all He sacrificed so you could just get by.  No!  He laid His life down to become a bridge between you and heaven.  A gateway to the Father He is.

Let all this rest on you for a minute.  Soak in the beautiful imagery.  Imagine all the parallels.

The Light of the world died on the cross.  Then like a phoenix He rose again from the ashes to ascend to heaven where He sits at the right hand of the Father and intercedes on your behalf.  Wow.

Oh God, You alone are worthy of all glory and honor and praise.  Jesus, thank You for Your sacrifice.  Help me to live a life worthy of the sacrifice You made, by listening to and obeying Your voice.  Pour out a deeper understanding of the fullness of the gift of eternal life.  Show me how to access all You died for so I could receive it.  Let me never be afraid to shine.  Let me always be brimming over with the glory of the Lord.  Like a phoenix I will rise from the ashes of my flesh and embrace Your Spirit inside me, to Your glory.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged. The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed him in a purple robe and went up to him again and again, saying, “Hail, king of the Jews!” And they slapped him in the face.  Once more Pilate came out and said to the Jews gathered there, “Look, I am bringing him out to you to let you know that I find no basis for a charge against him.” When Jesus came out wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe, Pilate said to them, “Here is the man!”

As soon as the chief priests and their officials saw him, they shouted, “Crucify! Crucify!”  But Pilate answered, “You take him and crucify him. As for me, I find no basis for a charge against him.”  The Jewish leaders insisted, “We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God.” When Pilate heard this, he was even more afraid,  and he went back inside the palace. “Where do you come from?” he asked Jesus, but Jesus gave him no answer. “Do you refuse to speak to me?” Pilate said. “Don’t you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?”

Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.” From then on, Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jewish leaders kept shouting, “If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar. Anyone who claims to be a king opposes Caesar.”  When Pilate heard this, he brought Jesus out and sat down on the judge’s seat at a place known as the Stone Pavement (which in Aramaicis Gabbatha). It was the day of Preparation of the Passover; it was about noon.

“Here is your king,” Pilate said to the Jews. But they shouted, “Take him away! Take him away! Crucify him!”  “Shall I crucify your king?” Pilate asked.  “We have no king but Caesar,” the chief priests answered.   Finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified.

The Crucifixion of Jesus:  So the soldiers took charge of Jesus.  Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha).  There they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle.  Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read: jesus of nazareth, the king of the jews.  Many of the Jews read this sign, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and the sign was written in Aramaic, Latin and Greek.  The chief priests of the Jews protested to Pilate, “Do not write ‘The King of the Jews,’ but that this man claimed to be king of the Jews.”  Pilate answered, “What I have written, I have written.” 

When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom.  “Let’s not tear it,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.” This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled that said, “They divided my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.” So this is what the soldiers did.  Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

The Death of Jesus:  Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

 Now it was the day of Preparation, and the next day was to be a special Sabbath. Because the Jewish leaders did not want the bodies left on the crosses during the Sabbath, they asked Pilate to have the legs broken and the bodies taken down.  The soldiers therefore came and broke the legs of the first man who had been crucified with Jesus, and then those of the other. But when they came to Jesus and found that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water. The man who saw it has given testimony, and his testimony is true. He knows that he tells the truth, and he testifies so that you also may believe.  These things happened so that the scripture would be fulfilled: “Not one of his bones will be broken,” and, as another scripture says, “They will look on the one they have pierced.”

The Burial of Jesus:  Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jewish leaders. With Pilate’s permission, he came and took the body away. He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds. Taking Jesus’ body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs. At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.   John 19

At the beginning of my time, God pulled the idea of me out of His heart and set to work in my mother’s womb.  He knitted carefully into my spirit every detail.  When it came to all of my details from my eye color and hair color, to my personality and giftings He was there sculpting one part after another.  He knew every word that my tongue would speak and sing.  He knew my whole life.  He tended to my every detail in the secret place.  From my beginning until now, He has fully known me.

Today I pray that you feel known.

He knows you.  He made you on purpose and for a purpose.  Before the foundations of the earth were set, you were already on His mind.  He created every sunrise you would enjoy.  He knew all your favorite things before you did.  Isn’t that amazing?  Doesn’t it draw you to Him?

When He reached into your mother’s womb, He created the miracle of you! He created something from nothing.  It’s pretty amazing.

How can we ever feel insignificant or unloved while knowing what He’s done for us?

How can we look at ourselves and doubt our worthiness or our abilities?  He alone makes us worthy.  He gave us our abilities, so when we criticize ourselves, we criticize Him.  When we complain about ourselves we are saying He didn’t do a good enough job.  You wouldn’t really want to say that, would you?

Today, I want you to set aside all your self-criticism and simply thank God for how He made you.  Thank Him for your giftings and your heart and any other thing you think to mention.  Thank Him that you have life! That you can breathe.  Thank Him for creating you.  Then thank Him for all of the plans He has for you.  Thank Him for your future.  His ways are not our ways, so thank Him for the mystery of life and a walk with Him.  Spend some time sinking your fingers into the dirt and rooting yourself in His sovereignty in your life.

I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made!

Take a minute and read Psalm 139….

You have searched me, Lord, and You know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O Lord.  You hem me in- behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.  Where can I go from Your Spirit?  Where can I flee from Your Presence?  If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.  If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me” even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You.  For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.  How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.  When I awake, I am still with You.  If only You would slay the wicked, O God!  Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!  They speak of You with evil intent; Your adversaries misuse Your name.  Do I not hate those who hate You, O Lord, and abhor those who rise up against You?  I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.  Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.   Psalm 139

This morning, my heart woke up singing.  I woke up feeling as if I’m bubbling over with creativity.  I began to look around for an outlet for this and found myself here, writing to you.

Yesterday, I was listening to a podcast and they spoke about simply finding delight in our giftings, before anything else. I can honestly say, before I sang a note for someone else to hear, I found such a deep delight in just singing.  As a child I would sit in my parents room and stare out the window at things no one else could see and just sing my own songs.  Sometimes I would simply hum a tune straight from my heart and when I did I would always start to cry.  I was very young when this was happening and had no grid for it, but it continued into my college years.  One summer I worked for a door to door book sells company and when spending countless hours in the car alone, I began to return to myself.  I would hum these tunes from my heart again and would always tear up.  It was in that car, I started worshiping.  I had lived many prodigal years, and was still right in the middle of them, but two very intimate worship songs from my childhood kept playing in my mind.  It was as if those were the only two songs in the world and I would sing them over and over and over again.  They were “Holy and Anointed One” and “As the Deer”.  I would pour my heart out in these songs, while I had no real understanding of what was happening.  My gifting was colliding with my flesh and while I was alone in that car every day, my spirit won.  Unfortunately, those days ended and real life came crashing back and well, I’ve already told that story, but I believe those were some powerful worship moments for me and the King of kings.

I have always found sheer pleasure in singing.  Now, I find sheer joy in writing.

Everyday feels like I’m finding ideas like butterflies and catching them in my net to bring back here and turn them into a way to attempt to draw others closer to the Father.  Make no mistake, I know all the ideas come from Him, but He has given me the privilege of participating in His process.  I find that a deep honor.

What are your giftings?  Take a minute and think of the things that make your heart stir.  Let God possibly awaken the creative inside of you.

Do you simply delight in your gifts? It’s a deep question, and a simple question all in one.

Take time this morning and simply be grateful for the way He made you. Thank Him for your giftings and today take time to operate in them simply for the pleasure of doing so.  That simple act can unlock a deeper gifting.  Simply enjoying what He’s given you can actually increase what you have.  It’s an amazing process of growth.

Oh God, thank You for the giftings You’ve placed inside of me.  Only a loving Father would do what you do.  Lord, increase my abilities so I can express even deeper places inside of me that are longing to be unlocked.  I will never reach the end of delight in You.  I find constant pleasure and delight in the giftings You’ve placed inside of me.  You are so generous to each one of us.  Thank You, in Jesus name, Amen.

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.  Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Psalm 37:3-4

You crown the year with Your bounty, and Your carts overflow with abundance.  Psalm 65:11