A couple of nights ago, I woke in the middle of the night and felt a tug. In my spirit I felt God encouraging me to fast the following day, so I committed to doing that. I then realized I wanted to fast in order to regain connection with Him. Life has become so busy now that school is back in session and even though I am home alone while the kids are there, that time goes quickly and is very full. I’m busy with many good things right now, not bad things, but still I so easily get caught in the whirlwind of busyness if I’m not careful. I am a close guardian of my relationship with Him, and I needed a day of fasting to put a full stop to my mind and heart and to refocus on what’s most important. Him.

The morning of the fast God rolled out the day as an invitation. I could feel a special warmth in the atmosphere of the day. My insides felt cozy. The house was peaceful. He was ready for me too.

If there’s one thing I hope you begin to realize from all of my honesty, it’s this. God is always so ready to love on you. He’s creating invitation and opportunity in every day you live. The only question is, are you listening? Are you noticing? Will you respond?

My fast was me saying, “I don’t want to become numb to the tug of God in my life.”

When you receive an invitation from God, the worst thing you can do is to bring an agenda. The best thing you can do is to simply show up and let Him move as He pleases. Lay aside your expectation and receive His Presence.

Prayer Moment: God, let me hunger and thirst for You. Let all of my being be focused on knowing You more and hearing You more clearly. God, my heart always longs for more of You. You alone satisfy the longings of my heart. You alone can make my life fill full. You alone give me vision and courage for the future. You alone. Draw me closer every day. Help my life to draw others closer to You as well. Here I am, my heart wide open. Fill me. Know me. I love You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? Psalm 42:1-2

Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of You, “Seek His face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide Your face from me, do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Teach me Your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing violence. I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:7-14

Who is this King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle. Lift up your heads, O you gates; lift them up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in. Who is He, this King of glory? The Lord Almighty- He is the King of glory. Psalm 24:8-10

I love the house where you live, O Lord, the place where Your glory dwells. Psalm 26:8

I want to share something with you today…a secret. Lean in and listen and I’ll tell you…I intentionally ask God to search me. I invite Him on a regular basis to examine my heart and mind to test my anxious thoughts. Yes, I really do.

All my adult life I’ve been told, “Never ask God for patience because then He’ll give you ample opportunity to develop it.” I understand why people say that, I truly do. It’s a scary thing to ask for something that you know will sometimes cause discomfort or even pain, but the truth is, we need such discomfort and pain if we are to fully grow.

Likewise, if we never ask God to examine us and to test our anxious thoughts, then we risk far more than we potentially “lose”.

Yes, when God searches me, it sometimes brings great discomfort and even situations that cause me to stretch much farther than I would like, but I never regret it in the end. I always end up grateful for the growth and the reset to my mind. When I allow God to test my anxious thoughts, then I can discover places where I believe lies and then He can release truth to me. The Bible gives us more than one example of another (David) asking for this very thing…

Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for Your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in Your truth. Psalm 26:2-3

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

It was from the promptings of Psalms that I desired to pray this way in the first place. If it’s good enough for David, then it’s good enough for me.

In a world full of anxiety medicine and diagnoses…it’s good to remember that we don’t want to medicate that which God wants to heal. Don’t numb what He’s longing to expose and restore. In other words, don’t hide from His tender touch because you fear discomfort.

I’ll defer to the “man after God’s own heart” on this one and trust that being searched is of great benefit. Are you willing to as well?

Prayer Moment: God, search me and know me. Test my anxious thoughts. Remove all offensive ways within me. Hold me close so I can release my anxiety and inhale Your presence. God, You know me better than I know myself, so I will trust what You show me and give You continual and full access to me. I want to be known by You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Today, as I sat covered by this quilt, I realized something. My life is much like this quilt. A quilt is many different patches sewn together to make a beautiful covering. Similarly, my life is many different seasons and situations sewn together to make something beautiful. And much like this quilt, I can pass part of it down to my children when they grow up, my legacy.

One thing that I find so beautiful about quilts is that they are rarely perfect. They are by nature a patchwork. Their design and the fabrics used, often tell a story. They become more valuable as they age. Many people love to have them laid around their homes as adornment. They can serve as a conversation piece or just a warm touch to the décor of a room.

My history, my legacy can be much the same. The experiences I’ve walked through, increase in value as I share their testimony over the years. My life is a patchwork of experiences and most definitely not perfect. My life tells a story. It reads of brokenness and redemption, of love and surrender. Now that I’m growing older, my life and testimony has grown to be a source of comfort and encouragement to those it’s shared with. It’s good to continue to share it and never forget how far I’ve come.

A quilt hidden away in a drawer or a box serves no purpose, but if it’s displayed and used then it has fullness. Our lives and testimonies are the same.

I wonder, what does the quilt of your life have to say? Do you keep it packed away in a box so nobody can see it, or do you share it openly and allow God to make it beautiful? We don’t share our testimony to boast of our sin, no we share it to show His strength. Our testimonies point to Jesus. Never be ashamed to use it, and for heaven’s sake, never come to the point when you feel you are “too good” now to share it anymore. It’s important to remember where we’ve come from.

Prayer Moment: God, thank You for the tapestry of my life. I know that You have redeemed me from so much. Thank You. Help me never grow so arrogant as to ignore or deny the depths from which You have rescued me. You alone came into my darkness and brought light. You alone led me into fullness. I am redeemed. You are the redeemer. I pray that You would give power to my testimony. Let freedom ring every time I speak of all You’ve done for me. Thank You for loving me. In Jesus name, Amen.

Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”- and You forgave the guilt of my sin. Psalm 32:1-5

Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and He will have mercy on Him, and to our God, for He will freely pardon. “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is My word that goes out from My mouth: It will not return to Me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thorn bush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an everlasting sign which will not be destroyed. Isaiah 55:6-13

The beginning of this portion of scripture always makes me feel a sense of urgency. Not panic, but a call to deliberately seek God’s face while I can. We do have a finite amount of time to find Him. It’s a fact that all will die, unless the Lord returns first. Both are endings though. Whether we die or God comes back, we’d better know Him before either happens. This is the privilege and burden of sharing the gospel. We love to share, but we also feel the urgency attached to it. It’s truly eternal life or death.

The next part of this is also amazing.

God’s thoughts are something that leave me feeling a sense of wonder. We could never even comprehend the vastness of One Who has always been and knows all things from beginning to end. Why would I even want to attempt to “out think God”? I am comfortable leaving the wonderful to Him. The things too great for me to understand.

Then the last part…

His word will NOT return void. I love the solidity of this statement. Nothing He says can be cast aside. His word accomplishes what it’s meant to accomplish without fail.

Have you ever heard people lamenting how they missed God, or made a decision contrary to His direction for their life and it leaves them in an utter tailspin? Well, if we truly believe that His word will accomplish all it is set to accomplish, then what are we worrying about? He is a redeeming God. He will give other opportunities, in fact, I’ve found God to be rather “fool proof”. He sets me up constantly. This whole concept tangles in with not trying to be smarter than God…if we realize He is Who He says He is and nothing less…Then we will admit that He is smart enough to lead us where we need to go.   

Sure, we can make choices along the way that make it more complicated or painful for ourselves, but He will get us where He wants us to be. And why would He do this? For the Lord’s renown.

We will go out in joy and be led by peace. What more is there to say?

Prayer Moment: God, help me to always go out in joy and be led by peace. Never let fear or discontent be my guide. Keep me steadfast. Guard my heart and mind. Restore the hope I had in my youth. Anoint my head with oil. Let my cup run over. I will dance in Your goodness the rest of my days. In Jesus’ name, amen.

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple. For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling; He will hide me in the shelter of His tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at His tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord. Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of You, “Seek His face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide Your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; You have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Teach me Your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence. I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:4-14

There are reasons that I do not fear a lot of things that others fear. This verse begins to uncover it…

My greatest and deepest desire is to dwell in the house of the Lord. I pray for it all the time. I long to not be on the outskirts of anything, no, I want to be right at God’s feet. I want to be “in the thick of it”, as they say.

Because of this desire and living a life intentionally focused upon His face, I don’t fear calamity. I am calamities foe. When a negative report or mandate of any sort comes, I immediately feel the protection of God and realize that He will give me a way out. That’s truly my default.

When taxes are raised or the oil field is seemingly destroyed, I begin to look around for the next way that God will provide exceedingly, abundantly more than I could ask or imagine.

Does this mean I never feel the stretch of circumstances? Well, I’ve been pretty honest to reveal that it doesn’t. But it does mean that I am unwilling to surrender the greatness of God’s calling on my life and the lives of my family members, due to circumstances.

See, even when we feel pressed and almost crushed, I’m still looking into the future and seeing success and blessing. The now, is just a time of waiting for them to unfold. The discomfort of today is just the growing of character to support the magnitude of the calling God’s placed upon my life.

Everything has purpose. Ever circumstance can be transformed into an opportunity.

I refuse to compromise with fear. I will stand firm on the promise. I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Prayer Moment: God, thank You for renewing my mind so I can see You everywhere I look. Thank You for constantly reminding me of the greater things to come. Thank You for repeatedly delivering me and my family from the evil one. We know we are secure in You. Thank You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Yet I am always with You; You hold me by my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel, and afterward You will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Those who are far from You will perish; You destroy all who are unfaithful to You. But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all Your deeds. Psalm 73:23-28

I love the promises in this portion of scripture. The whole thing is great, but for a moment look at the last two sentences…

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all Your deeds.

Where will you find me? As near to God as possible. He is my safe place. He has proven to be a refuge for my life, over and over again.

How do you maintain a positive attitude when walking through an uncertain world? Be as near to God as possible. How else can you hide in the shadow of His wings. So many of the verses about His protection and provision make it clear that the best way to receive that is to be near to Him.

That’s what is so amazing about the entire portion of scripture I typed at the start…I have nothing but God. It’s not like He’s my last resort, He’s my first choice. I choose to be near to Him. I decide to walk under His wings. I set my life up to be in step with Him.

When you do these things, it is far easier to know when you may step off course a little. I am so familiar with His presence and His closeness, that I immediately feel it if I take a step away. I am so accustomed to hearing His voice that I begin to feel disconnected if I go even part of a day without hearing Him. This familiarity keeps me so close. It guards my life, my heart and mind. It brings a steadiness to my life. It draws others to want Him more too, and isn’t that the ultimate goal? To live a life that draws others closer to Him?

Prayer Moment: God, in everything I do and in every way I respond to life, let others be led to Your heart. Help me live a life that serves as a beacon of Your presence. Hold me near. Never let me stray. Keep me as the apple of Your eye. Hide me in the shadow of Your wings. I am Yours. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I will give thanks to Him in song. The Lord is the strength of His people, a fortress of salvation for His anointed one. Save Your people and bless Your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever. Psalm 28:7-9

The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace. Psalm 29:11

As most of you know, I had home births with my babies. Yes, with Hannah I ended up at the hospital, but only after laboring a couple of days at home. So, when one of my sisters asked me to be with her during her labor and delivery, I was more than excited.

This was a moment that I had quietly been waiting for. The opportunity to walk another woman through this process is not only a privilege, but an honor. When I received the “It’s time!” phone call, I swiftly threw a bag of things together and headed toward her town.

From the moment of arrival to the moment of delivery, I was shocked at how seamlessly things happened. God gave me insight into every need she had, and her husband looked to me for cues and was completely attentive and willing to serve her too. All through the first prayer I prayed over her upon my arrival, to climbing on the bed with her to ease her back discomfort with my fist during contractions, to standing at the foot of the bed and leading her through each contraction, to the glorious moment when we saw the life we had been waiting to lay eyes on, felt like a miracle.

When the baby arrived, my first response was a loud sob that came out like a huge exhale and then I quickly recovered to take the pictures that you’ll never be able to take again. The first hold. The first scream. The cleaning up. The look of relief on the momma’s face. The very first family photo. What a treasure and delight those memories are to my heart. I only hope to have this privilege again.

A few days ago, God reminded me of those events, and when I asked Him why I was thinking of it He said, “In the same way your instinct kicked in during her labor, your instinct is now kicking in to walk My people through this season…Because you’ve been here before.”

Wow. Another powerful moment washed over me.

I have been here before. Not this exact situation, but this struggle with so much being unknown. The strain of not knowing if work will continue or if we’re to start over…again. The struggle of standing on promises even when nothing looks like it will ever happen. Yes, I know this place well. Oh, that my struggle would mean that yours would be shortened, but who knows…Only God.

All believers should be helping the world walk this season out right now. We know the answer. We know where to find peace. We know how to stand. We know how to talk to and listen to God. We are the ones who should be leading the charge through this crazy moment, but are we?

Honestly, some are, and others are noticeably living subject to the spirit of fear and death. The day has come when this question must be answered. Choose this day whom you will serve.

Prayer Moment: God, give me the courage to walk out this season with the boldness You have placed inside of me. Help me to prop others up, not tear them down. Help me to be a light and encourager, not a pessimist. Help me to be filled with more faith than doubt. I can only walk through this with You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

“Now fear the Lord and serve Him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:14-15

Today I ran across this scripture. I’ve read it many times over, but it really resonated with me today.

We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. No, we speak to God’s secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. However, as it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him”- but God has revealed it to us by His Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit Who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man’s judgment: “For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him?” But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:6-16

There is so much truth in this portion of scripture, it’s hard to know what to focus upon.

I have frequently wondered why it seems that so many people are acting from a blatant lack of wisdom. But here I am reminded that wisdom comes from the Lord, and the lost see it as foolishness. They can’t understand many things, so what are we believers to do? Continue to cave into their earthly demands and chaos? Continue to placate them by just going along to get along?

Absolutely not! If we have any love for the lost then we will set ourselves in a firm foundation of the Truth, and let our lives serve as an example to the world. It’s not about picket signs and pointing out sin in everyone around us. On the contrary, it’s about letting your life speak the truth. God in you will draw others to His heart and eventually repentance. You shouting them down will never work. You standing haughtily above and declaring they are vipers going to hell, isn’t gonna save their souls. But, as God told us, it’s His kindness that leads to repentance.

When I was living a wayward life, it wasn’t the accusers that led me back to Jesus, it was the ones who loved me in spite of my sin. It truly was. I had several key people enter my life and stand next to me. They simply and practically loved me. They were a huge part of my transformation, and to them I will always be grateful.

How does your life speak? Does it draw others closer to His heart?

Prayer Moment: God, help me to live a life that draws others to Your heart. Teach me how to love in action. Help me to maintain a humble heart as I share with others. God, only You can transform a life. Continue to transform me. Help me draw others to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

The other day, I got some less than great news and when I heard it, I began to experience some physical responses and immediately felt anxiety. I was so irritated that I reacted this way, but the feeling was very real. Then I very clearly saw and heard the Lord say, “You need to turn your PTSD into FAITH”.

Such a shocking thing to hear. I don’t routinely use such language. I felt embarrassed to hear PTSD over myself, because I think it’s a very serious thing that mostly military personnel suffer from. How could my little life be likened to that?

Then I thought about it and realized that after years of walking out the same circle of struggle, I’ve developed a form of it. While walking out the minefield of life, we’ve had what’s felt like, an almost constant struggle with work related things. Uncertain employment, dry seasons of waiting, stretching times when working with challenging personalities, it’s all made me pause and ask, “Are we the problem or are You teaching us something?”

I would think it was us, except with every step we have listened to God and followed His prompting. We’ve asked Him to open the right doors and close the wrong ones. We’ve fasted, prayed, given and followed through every bit of it.

No, we aren’t perfect, but we have been willing to live a very different lifestyle than most. Completely dependent upon God and unwilling to take a step without His leading.

So, when God showed me the above vision, I realized that anyone can begin to believe a lie and when we do, it inevitably causes internal damage. My lie was that we will never get out of this season, and that we will never have a stable future.

Those are two untrue statements.

A while ago, God began to speak to me about Chris and he called him a “Joseph.” Not the Joseph that married Mary, but the Joseph who was sold into slavery by his siblings and was wrongfully thrown into prison before being called into his destined position of second in command of Egypt.

What I believe God was showing me was that Chris too, is destined for greatness, and we shouldn’t let the hard road there make us feel like that’s never going to happen.

There’s the truth. God is refining and working all things in His timing. When I lay hold of these promises, I can transition from PTSD to FAITH. That’s where I want to live, in FAITH. Don’t you?

Prayer Moment: God, please release the gift of faith over my life. Help me to transition from any trauma into full faith. Lead me to be victorious in all things and in all circumstances. I desire to be used by You and for Your purposes. I am Yours. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and He gives them to each one, just as He determines.   1 Corinthians 12:7-11

Can you hear it? The sound of dry bones coming back to life! Can you feel it? The sound of troops assembling for the holy fight!

The stage is being set.

I figure that nobody can deny that the atmosphere on earth has changed a lot, but we have nothing to fear. We should really be excited, not scared. Do you remember the saying, “All bark and no bite”? Well, that’s essentially the devil’s MO. He can only do as much as God allows, and he (along with everyone who’s read the Bible) already knows Who wins this in the end. So, his main tactic is to take as many captive as he can and to create turmoil and chaos wherever he can.

That, my friend, is why those dry bones have started rattling. It’s time for an army to raise up. An army to stand up to the taunts and manipulations of the enemy. An army to help rescue as many from his deathly grip as possible.

It’s time for the church to arise and take our place next to the Son of God and move boldly. It’s time to stop apologizing for offending the enemy of our souls and to realize what is most needed is a steady line to be drawn. A line in the sand, so to speak. “Thus far and no further,” we must say.

May God arise, may His enemies be scattered; may His foes flee before Him. As smoke is blown away by the wind, may you blow them away; as wax melts before the fire, may the wicked perish before God. But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful. Sing to God, sing praise to His name, extol Him Who rides on the clouds- His name is the Lord- and rejoice before Him. A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, He leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. When You went out before Your people, O God, when You marched through the wasteland, the earth shook, the heavens poured down rain, before God, the One of Sinai, before God, the God of Israel. You gave abundant showers, O God; You refreshed Your weary inheritance. Your people settled in it, and from Your bounty, O God; You provided for the poor.  Psalm 68:1-10

Prayer Moment: God, give me the courage that this hour requires. Teach me how to stand as You would have me stand. Let me not be led astray. Let me not be destroyed. Rather, let me rise and stand. You created me to be alive and walk through this day and time. Teach me how to not cower to the mob. Teach me how to stand firm upon Your word. Teach me how to respond and not react. Show me how to be strong. Show me how to be gentle and strong. I need You every hour. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

May God be gracious to us and bless us and make His face shine upon us, that Your ways may be known on earth, Your salvation among all nations. May the peoples praise You, O God; may all the peoples praise You. May the nations be glad and sing for joy, for You rule the peoples justly and guide the nations of the earth. May the peoples praise You, O God; may all the peoples praise You. Then the land will yield its harvest, and God, our God, will bless us. God will bless us, and all the ends of the earth will fear Him. Psalm 67