Day 62: Finding my “why”(March 3)

For a long time I never considered my motivations in life.  I didn’t always see that “why” I am doing something is just as important as “what” I am doing.  Even when I began to walk closely with the Father, I would pursue Him without searching my motives.  Then in one instance after another, God began to show me some places where I was striving.  Since that moment I have frequently gone before God and asked Him to search my motives so that I remain pure of heart.  I want to want God simply because He is God and I love Him, not because I’m afraid He’ll stop loving me if I don’t behave properly.  I needed to experience unconditional love.  I truly believe we all do.

As a person who is very performance driven, I am now learning new ways of connecting with Him.  I constantly hear Him reminding me again, I don’t have to strive for His love.  Well, honestly, I’ve never known things that I didn’t have to strive for before.  So, the journey into His heart is a constant revelation for me.  Letting go and just receiving is so foreign to me.  Is it to you?  I was raised watching my mom be a very hard worker.  Day in and day out she served our family and my dad’s business and her parents and the list goes on and on.  So, when I became a woman and started a family, I carried on that dedication.  It’s not a bad thing at all.  I just need to keep it all in perspective.  The “why” for all my efforts needs to remain very clear.  My “why” should never be the feeling that if I don’t work hard then nobody will love me.  I’ve often felt that.  My “why” shouldn’t be the feeling that I have to work hard or nobody will think I’m valuable as a person.  I’ve also struggled with that thought a lot.  But now that I am constantly re-evaluating my “why” it is becoming….I work hard because I love.  I work hard because God loves me, and I just want to share that.  This is a very different motivation.  Now I search out God’s heart simply for the sake of relationship, not because I’m afraid of His punishment if I don’t.  Now I love Him from a different place in my heart.

What brings you to the Lord?  Take a minute, and even if you’ve never even considered that you are striving, ask God if you are.  Sometimes striving can cloak itself in something that looks like good deeds, but deep within it there is fear of rejection.  You will only see it if you take a moment and really let God search your heart.  There is no fear in perfect love.  Has His perfect love taken such a deep root in your heart that you can now grow from that solid foundation?  If not, it’s ok.  Today, you can ask Him to deepen your “love roots” and water you with affection.  It’s nothing we’ve ever deserved, but doesn’t that make it even better?!  Undeserved affection is the sweetest fruit.

Lord, I ask You to lavish me with Your love this morning.  God, my affection for You grows deeper and deeper every day.  I love to serve You from the foundation of that love.  Abba, search my heart and weed out any fear of rejection that may have crept in.  I want to love You with a pure and holy love.  Thank You for loving me so well.  Thank You for always having time for me.  Thank You for always being patient with me.  Thank You for being You.  I desperately love You.  In Jesus name, Amen.

And so, we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.  In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like Him.  There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  We love because He first loved us.  1 John 4:16-19

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