The other day while out for a walk, I saw myself crouched down as if I was enduring a contraction. I was holding in a squatted position and focusing on breathing regularly. Then I heard, “Take it one contraction at a time.” Then I saw this process of writing a year of devotionals.
For a while I thought the birth was coming at the beginning of this process, how naïve I was. I didn’t realize that God has spent years cultivating a steadfast spirit within me so I could weather a year of labor. I didn’t realize that as I write these devotionals I would face such challenges in life. But I suppose if everything was easy, anyone would do it, right?
This year has been glorious and so hard already. We are only in April and I feel like I’ve lived a year already. Right now, our family is facing huge changes and God spoke to me on multiple occasions that He is teaching me to trust Him in a new way.
So I face each day, one contraction at a time. I face writing each devotional, one contraction at a time.
You can’t skip the birth process. It’s impossible. Before I gave birth the first time, I walked out an adoption process (that ironically lasted 9 months) and discovered the commitment and bond that is created through this process. We bond with those for whom we fight. We need the bonding process to occur because once the “birth” happens, the story is only beginning. So much will be weathered. So many triumphs and failures and emotions. You need a solid foundation to weather so much life.
Having the commitment of writing a devotional for every day of 2018, is certainly a commitment. But it all started with trust. I had to trust, right from the start, God would give me things to say. This is led by His Spirit, so I knew I would need to remain intentionally connected.
Are you walking out a season of birth?
Are you challenged to continue as each contraction washes over you with intensity and purpose?
Don’t give up! Relax into it.
God, sometimes life is so uncomfortable and downright painful. Instead of pretending that it’s not, I commit to confessing my full heart to You, and allowing You to comfort me. I know You can handle the full scope of my emotions, so I won’t hide a single one. I know You can handle my disappointment, so I will confess it. You know when I struggle with anger, so I won’t pretend. Lord, I trust You enough to be myself right in front of You, and I know You love me enough to begin to change the things inside of me that need to be transformed. I also know You will not walk me through this labor process and deliver a still-born dream. No, I know I am laboring toward a dream that will be full of life and promise! Thank You. You are so faithful. In Jesus name, amen.
Therefore, we will not fear though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall. God will help her at break of day. Psalm 46:2-5