After talking about a solid foundation yesterday, I thought I would build upon that thought today.

Often, I feel we are so eager to share with the world all we are and all we know, that we can overlook those nearest us.  Sometimes our eyes are focused so far into the distance or the wider surroundings, we fail to see those right in our home.

O Lord, please forgive me for any time I have overlooked the ones clinging to my legs.  Forgive me for any time I have made my family feel second best.  They are not second best.  They are the best.

I want to offer you a chance to once again re-focus, but this time take an inventory of those in your closest circle.  (Your spouse, kids, family…..If you are young and/or single…Your parents and siblings) How are their hearts thriving?  Take a close look at them.  Are they extra needy or withdrawn?  Or are they looking full and excited about life?  Ask God to show you any need they may have.  Ask Him to keep you very aware of your inner circle….your family.  If your married, look carefully at your spouse today.  Are you feeding that relationship?  Or are you only taking.  Is your marriage more focused on you or on both of you?  It’s a delicate balance.

Today, I challenge you to take from the healing that God’s been working into your heart and begin to pour out into those closest to you.  How can you serve a family member today?  How can you pray for them?  Encourage them?  Intentionally love on them?

If you choose to live out this challenge today, I believe that by the time you lay your head on your pillow tonight, you will fill fuller and more content than you have in a while.

God, help me to tend to the garden I live in today.  Help me to weed and water and affectionately tend to those who share day to day life with me.  Show me how to love on my family better today.  Help me to honor You by the way I serve them.  Open my eyes to their needs and let my prayers for them be full of Your unconditional love.  I love You Lord.  Let my love for You reflect onto those around me.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other.  Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven.  The Lord will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest.  Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps.  Psalm 85:10-13

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity.  It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down upon the collar of his robes.  It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion.  For there, the Lord bestows His blessing, even life forevermore.  Psalm 133:1-2

Close your eyes and quiet your spirit.  Calm your mind from the swirl of all the things that must be accomplished today.  Focus your heart on Jesus.  For a moment, just breathe in and out and speak His name, “Jesus”.  Then sit in the silence.

Do you hear it?  His heartbeat?  If not, then tarry a bit longer and let Him iron out the crinkles of worry and the bustle of life from your heart and mind.  He will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in You.  Isaiah 26:3

These are the moments that separate the worriers from the warriors.  The ability and willingness to find that quiet place.  The surrender to His presence in our lives.

So often we long for that Peace of God that surpasses all understanding. Philippians 4:7a…but are unwilling to stop and receive it.  You have to find yourself in a position of stillness and surrender in order to receive.  I have received messages from several of you about praying for your next step, and God’s prevailing answer is, “Be still and know that I am God”.  Stop searching and just be with Him.  That is ground zero.  That is step one.

You would never build a home on a foundation that had not dried yet.  No, you pour the foundation and then you must wait.  Once the foundation is set and without fault, then you are free to build upon it.  In the same way, we cannot forsake the benefit of establishing our firm foundation in the Lord.  But it requires something that is quite foreign to some of us…..being still.  Wait upon the Lord.

Once you have established peace in your heart, then no matter what happens in your day you can find that peace again much easier.  It’s like an athlete training.  A body builder would never just go compete, no, they spend countless hours working out and building strength, even eating a special diet.  All so they can operate at maximum capacity.

Shouldn’t we take equal care of our heart and mind?  I feel like every day I am training.  Training my heart and mind to seek His face first and above all others.  Training my first reaction to things to be drenched in godliness.  Training myself to not respond with anger when people say an offhanded and hurtful thing to me.  No, I’m not perfect in this, but does that really matter?  How will I ever improve if I don’t make it an intentional part of my life.

So today, my hope is that you will take one breath and then another and begin to smell and taste the sweetness of our Good Father, and from that place of peace you would head out to embrace this day that He has made for you! Blessings to you this day my friend.

Trust in the Lord forever for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal.  Isaiah 26:4

The path of the righteous is level;  O upright One, you make the way of the righteous smooth.  Isaiah 26:7

Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.  Let us come before Him with thanksgiving and extol Him with music and song.  Psalm 95:1-2

I seem to talk about running a lot, but it’s where God speaks to me so often……

One day while running, I saw myself running a long-distance race.  It was one of those 100 mile races where often the runners are running completely alone for long stretches.  During those races they have people called “pacers”.  Those are individuals whose sole purpose is to meet one of the runners in a stretch and for the next few miles they provide companionship and a good pace to run.  Anyone who runs much knows how truly valuable this would be on so many different levels.

Life feels like a long-distance race to me so often.  I am often alone and searching out God’s heart in the secret place.  I worship alone mostly, and I love it, but sometimes I yearn for companionship.  It seems at just those moments, God will draw someone to run alongside me for a stretch.

When we first moved up North it was hard because we didn’t know anyone, but over time I began to meet people who I really love, but still I longed for someone to worship with.  Out of the blue one day, I met my heart friend Laurel and we were kindred spirits from the start.  She’s a truly free spirit, so she travels and lives abroad frequently, but I know when we are together we will worship and talk about the deep things and it’s like water to my soul.  She understands me on a level that is so important to my heart.  I now have other friends who understand different parts of me and fill other places in my heart, each at the exact time I need.

While running this marathon of life, we must find people who can encourage us.  And people whom we will encourage and pour into.  We were created to fellowship.

We weren’t meant to run alone all our days.  We were made to grow with others.

My question for you this morning is. Are you allowing others to run alongside you when needed?  Have you shut yourself off from the world because of hurt and perceived rejection?  I offer you an invitation to relationship today.   God has created you to walk with a group.  To fellowship.  Are there people God has been nudging you to reach out to and connect with?  If so, make a move today.  Have you shut yourself off and said “Nobody understands me.”  I understand that feeling.  I’ve felt it many times, but it’s simply not true.  Ask God to open your eyes to friendship around you.  Then follow His lead in pursuing that.  If you follow His prompting and leading even in friendships, you will find fulfillment like never before.  Today is your day!  Will you do it?!

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize?  Run in such a way that you may win.  1 Corinthians 9:24

I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free.  Psalm 119:32

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40:31

The past several days, I have felt a deep, deep stirring.  One that I am becoming familiar with, but at the same time is always new.  It’s Holy Spirit breathing over me.  Breathing something new.  Stirring my spirit to begin to receive some new outpouring from the One.  My One true Love.

I am learning to begin to rest into that feeling.  When I begin to feel the stirring, I know that’s not the end of what is being said, but rather the beginning of fresh revelation and outpouring.  So, I have been soaking in Him a lot.  Spending all extra time worshiping and feeling the deepness.  Oh, how I love Him.  Oh, what a privilege it is to breathe in the breath of Life.

Recently, while running, I was worshiping and all of the sudden I saw myself.  As I was running, I started to sob, but immediately that broke off and I was surrounded in Light and full of joy. I could see a trail of golden light flowing from behind me as I ran.  I stretched my arms into the air and said, “Yes”.  God said, “Do you not know that I have already won this race you are running?. You are to enjoy running the victory lap”

He has turned my sorrow into JOY!

With a word from God, there is always an invitation.  Today He has invited me to run life as a victory lap!  Imagine if we all grasped that anything and everything we ever needed to see defeated, was already defeated at the Cross.  That moment in history that turned the whole world upside down and ripped the veil and Jesus took final victory over death.

Let that sink in a little bit.

We are running a “race” that’s already been won for us so in essence, if we just run in the draft of God we would be much less weary and increase in confidence in Him!  If that becomes our reality then I believe we would truly do the “greater things” that Jesus said we would do.

Yes, God is inviting me to step out further and further…..I won’t resist Him.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”  Isaiah 6:8

This verse keeps circling over my mind.  God has shown me my mission field and I accept! What shall I fear when You are leading me out!  What can mortal man do to me?

Oh God, You are my Redeemer, Lover and Friend. My Stronghold and Peace.  I commit myself to be fully Yours all over again.  Let my life be a delight for You.  Let me always delight IN You.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

What, then, shall we say in response to this?  If God is for us, who can be against us?  Romans 8:31

You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.  O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.  Psalm 30:11-12

I actually chuckled as God released this devotional to me.  We’ve walked through the warfare and now we’re into the breakthrough.

While running, I had a very clear vision of myself in, what looked like a placenta, and I was ripping it open to get out.  It was a struggle.  I immediately saw a butterfly and was reminded that the struggle of getting out of the cocoon was what gave strength to the wings of a butterfly, so it was completely unavoidable and necessary.

Some of you are also in the middle of this process.  Has a lot of your life seemed to take great amounts of energy and strength?  Do you feel like every step forward is met with some type of resistance?  If so, then it could be that God is strengthening your “wings”.  With that in mind, don’t shy away from that struggle or think it is an indicator that you are not headed in the right direction, rather lean into the Father and ask Him to strengthen you for the task at hand.  We know our victory comes from Him, but so does our strength.

I feel very strongly that some of us are right at the point of breakthrough in a variety of different things, but we need that one last boost of strength to come so we can burst through the cocoon.  Now is not the time to walk away.  Now is not the time to try a re-route.  No! Keep at it. This is your time! This is your season of breakthrough.  The darkest night comes right before the dawn.  You are there.  You will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

God, today I need the courage and strength to keep pushing forward.  Lord, I am tired and discouraged and need to you to confirm to me once again that I am headed in Your direction.  In my weakness let Your strength be magnified as You lead me into victory!  I praise You today in the trial and I will praise You in my shouts of victory! Thank You for being faithful and true.  I love You.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.  Ephesians 6:13-18

As I ran the other day, I kept seeing a mountain and hearing “Jericho Mountain”.  Now, I am fully aware that Jericho was a city that Joshua marched around until it fell, but when God says something unusual….I always lean in.

I saw myself marching around a mountain over and over again, and God reminded me that last season He had shown me a mountain very similar to this one.  I had been worshiping as I circled that mountain repeatedly and then when God instructed, I began to walk straight toward the mountain and when I did it split in two and I was able to walk through the middle on solid ground!  It was a powerful moment.

What God was showing me the other day was, I will have many Jericho mountains in my life.  Many places that I will only get through or see fall because of persistently circling them.  This is one of my weapons of warfare, a relentless and steadfast spirit and an unwillingness to give up.  If God said it, then it will happen.  This is a non-negotiable in my life.  The “when” is not up to me.  The “Amen” is…..

He showed me that He would use my relentless obedience to draw others to His heart.  So that makes me extra willing.  I hope I never shy away from an opportunity to help “pull back the curtain” and let someone have a better glimpse of the Father I so adore.  My greatest joy is to see others discovering new and more intimate places in Him.

The thing is, I still must remain focused on Him through all of this.  I must remain aware of how to march around the mountain of today.  Is it time to march silently?  Is it time to worship?  Is it the day to shout my victory cry and watch that mountain fall or move out of the way?

My question to you this morning is, what is your Jericho mountain today?  How is God instructing you to move around it?  Are you willing to do however much or little He is asking of you?  It’s important to see when to move aggressively or when to move softly because if you move aggressively out of season, then you may very well be exhausted when the truly aggressive time comes.  Likewise, don’t become complacent in your stillness and so stiff that you are unwilling to run out when the time comes.

I’m not sure what season we are all walking into, but I am certain that sensitivity to warfare is on God’s heart, big time.  So, I offer the above devo without a care of redundancy, rather I have a sense of urgency.  Be prepared.  Be victory ready!!

I have set the Lord always before me.  Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  Psalm 16:8

I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.  Psalm 34:4-5

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  Hebrews 11:1

In a previous devotional, I discussed allowing God to change the way you fight.  Letting Him change your tactics and letting yourself receive a new perspective.  Today, as I was running, I saw a cabinet of weapons.  I walked up and took up one but realized that I was to become proficient in all the weapons.  God spoke to my heart, “The most powerful warriors are those that can fight any battle because they have learned many different methods of warfare.” In a flash I saw a variety of professions, each made superior by a wealth of knowledge and variety of methods.  The best doctors are those that have a larger pool to draw from rather than one tried and true medicine for any ailment.  Life is the same.  In a different capacity, a chef is made elite by being trained to master many different techniques and being willing to work with a variety of ingredients, not just one vegetable or meat.  We would quickly become dissatisfied if we were served the same dish every single day.  Instead, we revel in variety and choice.

In much the same way, a warrior is best served when they are skilled in a variety of ways because you never know who your enemy will be or how they will fight.

More than once, I have been around someone who is known for being strong in the Lord, and God has spoken to me that He wanted to teach them something new.  More than once, I’ve then watched that person wrestle with this change.   God used these instances to show me how important it is for me to always be listening to Him and to always remain flexible to change my tactics.  I inclined my ear to listen for the change in tempo…so to speak.   I mean, you wouldn’t want to show up to a gun fight with a knife would you?

Our battle is not against flesh and blood.  And since we often cannot see the enemy in front of us, it is imperative that we learn to really listen to the Lord and be made aware of the real enemy.  Friends, can we agree that we have an enemy?  Then, can we also agree that there must be a world going on around us that we cannot see with our earthly eyes?  The first step to facing the fight is to actually acknowledge that it exists.  Then we can ask God to open our eyes to it and to give us wisdom.

Did you know that gentleness is a weapon?  Were you aware that peace is a powerful force?  Not every weapon is what you may think.  When the enemy tries to stir up our world with troubles, then often it is staying in the peace that surpasses all understanding that will run him off.  When someone attacks your character or is aggressively coming against you, did you know that gentleness will often halt that?  There is a time for aggressiveness, but there is also a time when remaining solidly founded in gentleness and peace is an extremely powerful weapon of warfare.  Never underestimate the power of a gentle response.

I challenge you again, just like the last time I discussed battle tactics, to ask God how you should be approaching the battle of today.  Have the courage to use self-control.  Have the courage to find joy and peace.  Learn the walk of gentleness.  Learn how to take your tempo back from the enemy and walk in God’s timing.  Have you ever watched a basketball game and heard them say that if the team can keep the game at their tempo they will do well.  Friend, get the “ball” back in your hands, stop and listen to your Coach and proceed forward at His instruction and you will succeed!  The battle belongs to the Lord!!

“See it is I who created the blacksmith who fans the coals into flame and forges a weapon fit for its work.  And it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc; no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.  This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me.” Declares the Lord.  Isaiah 54:17

This is what the Lord says to you; ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the vast army.  For the battle is not yours, but God’s.’  2 Chronicles 20:15b

All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and He will give all of you into our hands.  1 Samuel 17:47

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Ephesians 6:12

 

 

 

Today while running, I was listening to a sermon and started thinking about contending for things in prayer.  Some things take time.  Some prayers take a season to fully marinate and become an answered prayer.  But if God has put it on your heart to pray or contend for something, rest assured, if you will stick it out with Him then you WILL receive what was promised.

In an instant, I was reminded of the season when Chris and I really wanted to have a baby and so we were “trying” and praying to conceive.  I had a dream one day, and in it God told me that I would have a daughter and part of her name would be Selah.  It was so vivid.  I told Chris right away and it was settled in my heart, yet we still weren’t pregnant.

Time passed and I wrestled.  I longed to conceive.  I was desperate to have a baby, but not just any baby.  I longed deeply to have a daughter.  Daily I would petition God for a daughter.

Then one day I started to feel unwell.  Chris suggested I take a pregnancy test, and it was POSITIVE!  Immediately, I knew I would have a girl.  Others tried to tell me not to put too much hope in that, lest I be disappointed.  But I knew what God had said and I knew I was pregnant with a daughter.  When we were finally able to have an ultrasound to reveal gender, it was no shock to me that I was growing a baby girl inside of my body.  My heart was always certain.

What does this have to do with birthing the miraculous or contending in prayer?  Well, when God spoke to me today, He said that I should approach Him with the same intensity that I did when I longed to conceive…not just a baby….but specifically, a daughter.  He was giving me permission to not only pray and ask Him for the things I’ve been rolling around in my heart, but to be specific.  I can’t describe the release I felt when finally praying out specifics to Him.

It is often my default to pray in general terms and leave all details to Him…I mean, He knows what I really need.  But there have been a few times in life when He has released me to come before Him with exactly my heart’s desire. In those times, I have always received exactly what I prayed.  I also believe that in those moments I was actually praying what His heart already had in mind for me.

He doesn’t want us to walk out life as a beggar.  He wants us to fully realize that we are co-heirs with Christ.  That thought is so huge! But completely true.  Jesus never prayed from uncertainty.  He prayed from a place of knowing His true position.  I long to become more and more like that.

God, I pray that today You would give me a revelation of my position with You.  As a co-heir of Christ, show me how to walk out life.  Show me how to have faith bigger than a mustard seed.  Deliver me from the poverty spirit and walk me into the sonship I was created to live out.  Help me to take hold of all that Jesus died to share with me.  I want to be ever closer to Your heart.  Thank You for Your love and affection for me.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.  For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.  And by Him we cry, “Abba, Father.”  The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.  Now if we are children, then we are heirs–  heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory. Romans 8:14-17

Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea’, and it will be done.  If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”  Matthew 21:21-22

He replied, “Because you have so little faith.  I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.”  Matthew 17:20-21

This morning when I first woke up, I went for a run in my basement and then made my way to the trusty coffee pot.  When I looked out the window by my pantry, I could see the moon setting in a beautiful glow of white light falling behind the trees.  After I retrieved my steaming cup of coffee I moved into the den and noticed I could also see a magnificent pink and orange sunrise!  So, simultaneously I could stand in one spot in my kitchen and see the rising sun and the setting moon each shining in their unique glory.

I was taken back by this moment.  I immediately wondered what God would have to say about this, and then I felt that old familiar stirring.  He spoke, “There is beauty to be found in what you’re leaving behind, and beauty in your future.  It’s ok to acknowledge both.”

For a long time in my walk I felt when I left a season it was because it was no longer good enough.  Or when I needed to make a choice between two things, one had to be lesser.  What I’ve realized as I’ve walked into a deeper understanding of the Lord is that is not always true.  Sometimes we leave one great thing, to embark on another great thing!

On the other hand, I can’t be so enamored with the beauty of my present or past, that I’m unwilling to look for the beauty of the new season.  Does this make any sense?

I guess what I’m trying to muddle through is, it’s really good to have a firm reverence and appreciation for where you are, where you are going and where you’ve been.  It’s ok to acknowledge the pain of moving on.  It’s good to acknowledge the beauty of knowing we have a beautiful future.

Standing in my kitchen, I felt I was standing in an eclipse moment in my own life.  So much good has been happening, but I have very clearly heard God speaking of new things lately.  Things way outside of my comfort zone.  Things my mind has no grid for, so He has been gradually giving me vision of where we are headed.  Just enough to keep me focused and aware.  God knows each of us so well, He tailors our walk through life in such a specific way.  He knows I respond best to change that starts gradually in my heart before it makes it into the world around me.  If I stay close to His side, He always gives me a glimpse of what is to come so I have time to process it out before it really happens.

What a generous Father.  I love being known so well.  I love that life gets easier to walk out when I let Him know me.  When I acknowledge and respond to His forewarning.  Thank You God for loving me that way.

Are you feeling like you are in an eclipse season?  Are you ready to walk into a new thing?  Give yourself permission to grieve what you are leaving behind.  There is no shame in grieving.   I always give myself that opportunity.  Then let yourself be excited.  Have you ever felt challenged at the idea of being excited?  I have.  Sometimes the weight of past disappointments holds me back from truly delighting in the idea of a new blessing.  I make it my practice to walk straight through that now.  Not lingering in the valley of broken dreams, but instead believing in the hope of the future and knowing God has always planned to bless my life abundantly as I walk arm and Arm with Him.  My faithful Leader.  My eternal Friend.

(If it seems some of these devotionals are feeling a little redundant, please realize I have given God permission to speak one idea as many different times as necessary, and in as many different ways as He needs to so it soaks into the heart of any one who needs that word.  So, please be patient, and if you feel I’m repetitive at times, just know I am doing it at His prompting.  There is most often more than one perspective to discover.)

“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plant to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

I don’t know if I’ve ever written about loneliness, but regardless, today I am.  Several people have spoken to me about feeling lonely lately and as a person who has walked through lonely seasons, I know God can speak through me about this subject.  The sources of greatest pain or struggle become our most powerful healing voice if we let them.

When I was in college, I found myself 23 and divorced.  I had never considered that I would be divorced, ever.  I was pretty convinced no man would ever be interested in me again because of my baggage.  So much shame accompanied that, but loneliness was way worse.  In fact, it was loneliness that propelled me from one bad situation to the next for a season.  It was during this time that I realized loneliness is a spirit, and that spirit had attached itself to me.

No matter where I went during that time, I felt a loneliness that was so intense I felt it physically.  Whether in a group or alone, it was there.  Like a suffocating mask over my face and heart it tried to take my very breath.  Even talking about it now, I can really remember exactly how it felt before I became free.

The loneliness was so intense that when I would go to my house (I lived alone) I would instantly feel so completely and breath takingly lonely I would most often find any excuse to leave immediately again.  When I stayed at the house I would never be able to leave it quiet.  I required constant noise to be able to stand being there.  It was like my own prison.  And the worst part was…..the prison was inside of me so escaping it felt impossible.

I have made some very bad choices in my past.  I will never deny that.  I was reaping what I had sown in so many ways.  In other ways, I was so wounded, I didn’t know any other way to behave…..and only God knew that. But nobody deserves to be plagued by any ungodly spirit.  Especially loneliness.

After a time, I took a job as a church secretary.  I realize now that was part of God wooing me back to Himself.  It was the first time in my life I had realized that God had provided for me.  I had just begun going to church and found a body that I seemed to enjoy.  I needed a job and one Sunday I saw an advertisement in the bulletin for a secretary.  I somehow knew that job would be mine.  I believe that job was crucial in saving my life.  They loved me so well.  The pastor’s wife was one of the first people in my life that made me feel unconditional love. But still the loneliness was there.  (My parents have loved me unconditionally, but at that point I couldn’t receive it from them)

Many days with the heaviness on my chest, I would sneak off into the sanctuary and sit in the quiet with all the lights off and just beg God to help me.  I still didn’t know Him well back then, but I knew He could rescue me and that’s what I needed.  I cried so many tears.  I tried so hard to be good, but that loneliness would push me to one bad relationship after another.  I just couldn’t shake it.

In the middle of this struggle, was the night I almost killed myself.  And it was during the following heart healing process that I fully realized what loneliness was doing to me.  And then, one day…..it was gone.  Whatever place of wounding in my heart had given it footing, was healed and it could no longer stay.  This is my reality.  This is what I’ve learned.  If you struggle with loneliness, depression, anxiety….then I truly believe that is a good indicator that you have a wound in your heart that God wants to heal.

In the enemy’s effort to destroy us, he often gives us really good indicators of where we need Jesus to move in our hearts.  God wanted to become my Constant Companion, and He used all that turmoil to draw me to Him.  To draw me to healing.  He works all things together for our good.  I can count on Him, every time.

I wonder, do you struggle with loneliness, depression, or anxiety?  I have honestly been freed of all three and it was because of Jesus, alone.  In three separate occasions He came into my heart and mind and delivered me from those things. One at a time.  If you struggle with any or all of those, or something else, I challenge you to bring it before the Throne this morning.  Show it to God, and ask Him to show you if there is anything in your heart that has given footing to those things.  Do you have a long hidden wound that is giving voice to fear?  Do you have hurt that has become depression?  Do you have disappointment that has grown into anxiety?  Today is the day you can be free!

God, thank You for delivering me from loneliness, depression and anxiety.  I know You alone are the answer.  Thank You for being my Constant Companion.  God, right now I pray that You would show anyone reading this, if they are being held captive by anything.  And God, in Your loving kindness, please gently remove the band-aid from their heart and breathe Your healing into them.  In Jesus name, Amen.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Psalm 46:1

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.  John 10:10

But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.  Psalm 39:7