At church recently, I was reminded of the story of Gideon.  I have often thought about the strange ways God reveals Himself in battle.  I want to ask you this morning, how do you fight your battles? Do you fight battles on autopilot?  Do you fight the only way you’ve ever known whether it works or not simply because it’s what you’ve always done?  Or do you lean into God at each obstacle you face and ask Him how He wants you to approach it?

There is a way to face life’s daily challenges that won’t leave you distraught and exhausted.  There is a way to approach things that will leave you feeling full and loved instead of empty and defeated.  But it takes an effort.  It takes a choice.  You chose each day Whom you will serve.  You also chose each day Whom you will trust.

As you step into the day ahead, I challenge you to take a minute and press into God’s heart and ask Him to equip you for every instance and/or challenge that you will face today.  Do you see sorrow coming your way?  Ask Him for joy.  Do you feel overwhelmed already before your feet even hit the floor?  Ask Him for peace and be still in His presence until you feel a shift in your spirit so you can face the day from the perspective of victory and abundance.

If you have Jesus in your heart, you’ve already been born into victory.  God’s goodness and mercy CAN be found in any situation.  Yes, I truly believe this.  His goodness can be found in ANY and EVERY situation.  If you use this truth as an anchor for each day of your life, then imagine how things will change!

I feel like there are some reading this who struggle to find a mindset of victory.  Some of you have only ever felt defeated.  God wants to remove that cinderblock stronghold from you right now.  He is breaking generational curses of defeat and poverty right now, in Jesus name.  God, I thank You for Your grace.  I thank You that none of us have to walk with a limp….Nobody has a generational sin or curse in their life that You cannot break off.  I know You are eager to do so.  Thank You.  God stir the hearts that need to be free and open their eyes to the true victory of the cross.  Our Savior died and rose again.  Jesus thank You that You died for our sins so we could walk out a life of victory!  I worship You this morning, and embrace the fullest measure of Your freedom.  In Jesus name, Amen.

 

For the Lord your God is the One Who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.  Deuteronomy 20:4

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.  And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.  I Corinthians 10:13

“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33

Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Ephesians 6:13

Recently, while watching TV, all of a sudden I heard God speak to me, “Excellence”. I was slightly startled and He repeated, “Excellence”, and then I felt a lifting in my spirit, and a swell of His Presence wash over me as He spoke promises over me, and fear melted off of me as the fire of the Holy Spirit sparked inside my heart.

This was a very significant moment for me because for years I held back excellence because of some strange concern with making others think I thought I was better than them, or so people didn’t think I was irritating or “too much”.  I suppressed my zeal and enthusiasm in worshiping the One publicly because I didn’t want to call attention to myself or make others uncomfortable.  (Now as I think over that last statement, I am more convinced than ever, that sometimes people need to be made uncomfortable….so maybe they will start wanting more of Him too.)

One day while standing on stage as a part of a worship team, God poured a vision over me.  I saw Him holding a baby wrapped in a blanket like a newborn.  He then, with full pleasure and excitement, held that baby out so everyone around could see, and with great joy in His voice He said, “Look at this one!! Look at my precious one! This one is mine!”  I realized I was that baby!!  From that day forward, I released myself to worship with full enthusiasm no matter what.  No matter where I worship, or who is watching.  Honestly I don’t care anymore, because worship was never meant to be focused on them anyway.  It’s all about Him.  It’s all from the overflow of love for Him that I carry deep in my heart.  I worship as one who is deeply  and passionately in love and totally unashamed of public displays of affection. That was the day He released me to worship Him publicly, just like I do in the secret place, with total abandon.

If the God of all the earth created me…..why not shine brightly for His glory?

Should a diamond hold back its brilliance so the emeralds don’t feel inferior?  Or should a sapphire remain dull so the topaz doesn’t get envious?  NO! Each jewel has a beauty all its own, and when each shines brightly it actually increases the brilliance of those around it!

Imagine a world where we all discovered how to shine brilliantly for His glory?!  He is glorious and He lives inside of me.  I should shine.  You should shine.

Shine bright! Not for your own glory, but for His!  He IS glorified when we are exactly who He created us to be.

I want to be all He created me to be.  Not one part wasted.

 

Take a minute and think about how you are meant to shine for His glory.  We all have something special to share with the world.  Ask God to shine His light into your heart, so you can see any areas where you may be holding back a light that was meant to be shared!  None of this is about being the center of attention or feeling self-important.  Actually, it’s about discovering the true humility of walking out your place in His Kingdom boldly.  Some of my most powerful moments don’t actually come with a loud voice or a super public display, often times the moments I feel Him move most are when I quietly surrender and give Him permission to move freely without me trying to control it.

Lord, hold me close so I can shine brightly for You.  I am Yours.  Let every fear of man inside me melt off like wax that I might shine without hindrance before You!  No matter what my calling or anointing or gifting is, I know You created me to shine for You.

 

Twinkle, twinkle little star!  Shine brightly by discovering who you are!  Shining like a light on a hill.  Guiding others closer to the heart of the King. Twinkle, twinkle little star! Shine for Him just as you are.

You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its savor, how can it be made salty again?  It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.  You are the light of the world.  A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a basket.  Instead, they set it on a lampstand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven.  Matthew 5:13-16

 

But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines brighter and brighter until the full day.  Proverbs 4:18

 

Once again, Jesus spoke to the people and said, “I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows Me will never walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life.”  John 8:12

 

I remember it like it was yesterday, I stood at the mirror in my bathroom with a knife to my throat.  I remember looking at myself and crying and saying, “I hate myself! I hate you!!!” I remember looking straight into my own eyes and seeing nothing good at all looking straight back at me.  I pressed the knife a little harder against my throat and thought, “If I do this, I will do it right and won’t fail.”

That’s the last thing I remember before waking up safe in my bed the next morning.  There was no sign of the knife that I had just held to my own throat the night before.  I didn’t have any idea how I got to bed.  As I continued to shake off the grogginess that was over my mind that morning, I realized that God had put me to bed.  That He had sent an angel to attend to me and I remembered a promise I had once heard from someone, and also read in the Bible.  The thief enters only to steal, kill, and destroy. I came so that they could have life—indeed, so that they could live life to the fullest. John 10:10

I realized that the moment I gave my heart to the King of kings, He placed a protective hedge around me that would not allow the enemy to kill me.  My life had been spared by God alone.  I rose from bed, called my mom and asked if I could move back home, packed a bag, and left.  I drove the 4 hours home to my parent’s home and came into the house and just sat on the floor.  I was numb. I had fallen to my lowest point,  I had nowhere to go from there.  A life of rebellious revelry had led me to this moment of emptiness and I didn’t know how to move forward.

In the days that followed, I began to realize that I needed heart healing and I didn’t even know what I needed healing from, I only knew that I needed it.  At my parents church they were just starting a class to train people in Theophostic prayer and I immediately signed up, not really because I wanted to pray with others, but because I knew by signing up I would be able to receive the prayer.

For that season, I had no job and I spent all the time I could at church.  I only focused on getting to know God and receiving His healing for my heart.

After only one or two Theophostic prayer sessions, the Lord revealed the “big one” to me.  That big life changing moment that had happened that was beyond my control, but none the less had served as a pivot point and unfortunately a compass point in my life.  The incident had been so damaging and impossible for me to process as a child, that I had blocked it out of my conscious mind.  There it hid, tucked away in the subconscious part of me.  It’s presence in my heart and mind kept hindering me from truly growing and becoming the me that God intended.  No matter how much I had tried to change and grow as a younger person, I had been incapable and now I realized that it was because I needed this moment in my history to be fully revealed to me and for God to take His place in that memory to bring healing.

When God revealed this incident to me during prayer session, it was excruciating for all the people in my group.  Partly because they were not allowed to hug and comfort me…not out of unkindness, but rather so God alone would come and comfort me and fill me and tell me THE truth.  Sometimes, I imagine the grief and sadness that those in the room with me felt as they watched the curtain in my mind rise as the Lord very gently and mercifully showed me the sin committed against me.  In His great mercy, many details were not shown, simply because they were unnecessary, but I knew all that needed to be known in order for healing to occur.  I love how God, in His unfathomable mercy, can show me something terrible and still wrap it so tightly in His love that I am not destroyed, but rather leave feeling His love stronger and more certainly than I ever had previously.

This was the new pivot point in my life.  The moment when I began to truly live!  The moment when the enemy lost the luxury of having a hiding place in my heart and mind.  God began to restore my mind that day.

 

Take a moment and ask God if there is any hidden pain in your heart.  Give Him permission, if you will, to show you anything that is blocking your heart from fully receiving His love and healing and freedom.  Have you been sinned against?  Is there any part of your heart that you have kept closed and out of His view?  I promise that you will not regret letting Him tenderly remove the band-aid and begin to bring His light to your wound.  Part of learning to live in His Presence is to make our whole heart available to Him.  There is no pain so great that our loving Father can’t heal.  There is no mind that He cannot renew.

I know this may be a difficult day for you to walk through, but it’s also exciting because once you allow God to have unhindered access to ALL of our heart, then you can truly begin to be formed into a new creation!

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 3:13-14

 

See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.  Isaiah 43:19

 

And no one puts new wine into old wineskins.  For the old skins would burst from the pressure, spilling the wine and ruining the skins.  New wine is stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved.  Matthew 9:17

 

This morning while I was running, I was worshiping to “Good Good Father” and “Reckless Love”.  Both were being played during a previously recorded church worship service and had a lot of strings playing.  As I heard the strings playing, I felt stirred and I saw myself ice skating.  I was skating all around the rink and leaping beautifully and dancing on the ice for my King.  It was a beautiful and innocent moment.

Then I heard God saying to me, “You can dance before me like that because you know that I dance over you like that every day.”

It’s true.  I see God dancing over me all the time.  Throughout any given day, a smile that starts from inside my heart, will spread across my face because suddenly I will become aware that my Father is smiling over me!

Every time I see God’s face, He’s smiling or laughing.  His delight over my very existence is so intimate and loving and affirming, and I try to take time each time I see that and let it soak into my soul.

I wonder this morning, how do you see God?  Have you discovered the joy of the Father?  Have you seen Him delighting over you too?  Do you know that He approves of you simply because you are alive?  There is no striving in His love, and it does indeed cast out all fear.

Once my life was covered in the blood of Jesus, I moved forward into the depth of His Presence to begin to really have relationship with the Father, Son, and Spirit.  It has undoubtedly been the best decision I’ve ever made.

Life ends at the cross, only to begin again.  The old is laid there, but we are to then move forward, having been reborn, into discovering how deep and how wide the love of God is for us.

I challenge you today, to find a quiet moment and simply ask God to show you how much He delights over you!…….and then, believe it!!!!!  It’s truth. It’s Who He is…..God is love.  Then take it a step further and lean into the Lord to see life after the cross….The life of victory.

Jesus, thank You for Your sacrifice.  I could never imagine the depth of Your devotion to us.  God, I ask that You would release me to walk out a life in the fullness of the victory that You alone could achieve through the cross.  Never let me forget that all I ever have or will be is because of that sacrifice.  Let that thought lead me to live in a place of gratitude and joy! In Jesus name, Amen.

For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the afflicted ones with salvation.           Psalm 147:4

The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you; He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.              Zeph. 3:17

“Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”   Psalm 46:10

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – Not by works, so that no one can boast.  Ephesians 2:8-9

 

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.  He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever!!!  Psalm 23

 

I can’t get that Psalm out of my mind…..Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil….

I feel like right now I am facing a thousand deaths.  The death of dreams.  What feels like the death of my future.  But what I am realizing is that I am really only facing the death of my control.  I feel like I keep taking a few steps forward and then I have to stop again and light a fire and burn the next level of my control as God is taking me to deeper and deeper places in Him.  Places where I choose to either flail about while trying to find my footing in impossibly deep waters, or I surrender to His undertow and I drown in His love again and again.  Because I am an adventurer, I feel as if I’m constantly putting myself and my heart in situations where my only choice is to drown in Him.  I’m not the thrill ride, roller coaster type, but in the spirit I am an adventurer into all things God. J  I have this deep thing inside that refuses to let me settle for the ordinary.  I don’t know why, but I am determined to live a life deeper than the masses choose to lead.  I feel a stubbornness deep down inside….a holy stubbornness.

Each time I stop to burn off my control, I discover another Ebenezer…you know?  A place where I reflect on all of the other times God has come through for me in miraculous ways.  I hear the word Ebenezer echo through my mind all throughout the day. No joke.  I am in such a sticky season that I am needing constant reminder that we WILL make it through.

Where have you found yourself today?  Are you in a hard season?  Are you in a season of ease, but feel God calling you out into something new?  Are you plowing or reaping?  I encourage you today to ask God if you are where He has called you to be.  Have you settled into the routine you are in because it’s comfortable, or the opposite, are you making life more complicated than it needs to be?  Give God an honest moment to speak His truth and reality to your heart.

He knows your heart.  He knows what walk through life will draw you nearer to Him.  He knows what will make Him your only option, deepening your love and dependence upon His voice.

 

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.  Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen.  He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.”  I Samuel 7:12

 

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.  He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever!!!  Psalm 23

 

I can’t stop thinking about birth this morning.  I have experienced 3 births, and labored a total of 102 hours to bring those 3 lives into the world.  Looking at that number in total….102 hours….is completely overwhelming, but what I am struck by right now is that I didn’t experience all that in one fail swoop.  That truly may have been impossible for me.  No, God in His graciousness, spread out the time over 3 separate births and each birth was experienced one minute at a time.  One contraction at a time.  One breath at a time.

During my first labor process I totally lost control.  After my water broke, the flood of hormones, etc completely surprised me. From that point until my precious daughter was delivered, I blacked out repeatedly and nobody knew that was happening to me.  I lost my peace.  I didn’t realize exactly what was happening, so I didn’t know how to tell them I was blacking out.  It was a hard, hard experience.

Then when Naomi had crowned for an hour and a half, they decided to cut me so she would just come out.  I will never forget hearing the nurse ask, “Are you going to numb her first?”. To which the midwife replied, “No, she’s probably numb there already.”      Then there was a cut.  And I absolutely felt it.  I began to say, “I felt it! I felt it!”  The birth process up until that point had been hard, but not traumatic, but the unnatural cut by the midwife was so traumatic.  Then my baby came into the world and the experience and processing was cut short only to find myself a day later sitting in the bathtub sobbing because I was so traumatized. My husband sitting on the floor beside me wondering how to help me put myself back together.  All the while, this sweet new life needed everything I had to give her.  So I had to move forward.  Wounded.  Compartmentalized.  And oddly feeling like I must have done something wrong because why else would labor have been so hard and long?  On the flip side, I had this extravagant gift of Naomi Selah.  My beautiful song.  Her very presence brings me joy and I see God’s beauty every time I look into her eyes or hear her sing or watch her create anything.  So much creativity inside that beautiful princess.

During my second delivery I really began to find strength.  It was a completely different experience.  With every contraction I felt Holy Spirit and I felt peace.  Where in the first birth process I felt out of control, this time I felt solid.  One of the ladies that God told me to invite to my home birth prayed in tongues quietly every time I had a contraction.  A contraction would begin and I would crouch down and breathe deep and peacefully center myself in Holy Spirit and I would focus on my friend’s quiet utterance of prayers in languages that I didn’t consciously know, but my spirit knew and Holy Spirit inside of me knew.  Her presence there brought immeasurable peace during that time.  Isn’t that how God works?  He brings just who we need for exactly the time they are needed, especially if we are listening. When Micah was ready to be displayed to the world, God flung me to my knees and I immediately started trying to leave that position because it hurt so much, but my midwife said, “No stay that way.  That’s a good position for you to be in”.  So I stayed and he began to immerge.  Then my midwife said, “Stand up.  The cord is wrapped around his neck twice.”  In a brief moment the craziest things happened.  As if my midwife and I had rehearsed this moment many times, I stood up and she instructed me to hike up one leg so she could summersault him out so he didn’t get strangled or rip the cord from the placenta.  It was like a smooth dance we engaged in when he came out easily and almost gracefully to my midwife who then delivered him.  But there was no sound.  He wasn’t crying.  My midwife laid him on the bed in front of me and said, “Momma talk to him.  He needs to hear your voice.”  And she went back to work on me because, I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was bleeding….ALOT. All of my focus was on this new life laying in front of me and I let out a pathetic sounding, “Micah!” Then another while I rubbed his body with hands that longed to hold him.  All of the 27 hours of labor had culminated in this moment when, however brief it was, I didn’t know if Micah would live. It’s amazing how time can stop and the world cease to move around you when something so monumental is occurring. Praise Jesus, moments later he let out a good wail!

Micah was born on a Sunday morning.  This one who already had the Spirit over him while in my womb.  He is special.  He hears things.  Many times he prays over me exactly what I have been privately praying.  It’s so amazing.

My third birth process was covered from start to finish.  In the middle of that pregnancy we moved 2 hours away from my midwife.  We had a plan to head her way as soon as contractions started, but God’s graciousness is so much larger than that.  One day the whole family got into the car to head to the midwifes home for an appointment and as soon as we got on the road, the contractions started.  I love how He covers every detail, especially when we choose to live in peace.

We hoped labor would be shorter, but it wasn’t to be.  Chris and I spent the next 52 hours engaged in a long and exhausting and painful labor.  One where we tried many different positions and methods to get things moving forward, but to no avail.  Eventually, we began to discuss whether or not to go to the hospital.  My water had broken 24 hours earlier and I had been pushing for hours and hours. We had a group discussion about all of the options, then my midwife gave us privacy to talk and pray and decide.  Chris always left these decisions mostly to me…I am so grateful for that.  I prayed and felt like I needed to give it one more try and then if nothing had progressed, we would go to the hospital.  So we started one more round of it.  It was so hard and painful and at the end, Chris looked me straight in the eyes with compassion that seemed to rise from his very soul, and said, “I can’t watch you go through this anymore.”  Few times in my life have I felt as loved as I did in that moment.  He didn’t know it, but I had been waiting for “permission” to go to the hospital.  Going to the hospital and letting them intervene was absolutely the last thing I wanted, but in that moment I knew it was right.

When we arrived they informed me that a c-section was my only option.  If you are a “natural birth” mom then you know this is usually the last thing you want to hear, but at that moment I felt Holy Spirit peace all over me.  Chris, however, had gone through a c-section when Noah was born and it wasn’t pretty.  In fact, the experience had traumatized him, so when they said that, all of the color drained from his face and I saw something in him that I have never seen before and hope to never see again.  He was terrified.  Family gathered near him and prayed and he was able to rise to the occasion and during the whole process he stood as a guard by my left shoulder, all the while keeping a watchful eye on every move of the doctor and nurses as they brought our beloved Hannah Faith out of my womb.  That first cry from her lungs was the most beautiful moment.  They cleaned her up and handed her to Chris and he brought her to me for a quick kiss before he proudly walked out of the room to present her to our family.  What beauty.  God was even in the night that I had to spend at the hospital to recover.  Our nurse knew Chris from their hometown, so she was especially gracious to us.  They took Hannah to NICU because she needed a little extra attention.  I asked when I could go see her, and they said that I could as soon as I could feel my legs.  At midnight, I woke up and could feel my legs….but not my feet.  I called the nurse and said, “I can feel my legs.”  She asked, “Do you think you can walk down there on your own?” To which I replied, “No, I can’t feel my feet, but you said I only needed to feel my legs.”  To the chagrin of the other nurses, she relented and let me go to my baby.  I think she knew that I would accept nothing less.  I was kind about it all, but I am a momma, and a momma needs her baby. J   This was such a different experience, but it was so obviously covered and well within the realm of God’s plans for my life.  I just needed to surrender to whatever His process looked like, even though it was so very different from what I had in mind.

After Naomi’s birth broke me in, so to speak, I was able to find God in the following labors.  I almost think I needed to walk through it blindly before I could walk through it in God’s light, or maybe it just shows where I was in my walk with God during each birth.  An ever deepening walk that I will never reach the end of, this side of Heaven. In the middle of contractions, a woman must center her spirit.  I had to find my peace (God) in every contraction.  I felt my insides reaching down deep to find God’s peace inside of me, like a plant letting its roots stretch deeper into the earth so it receives full nourishment. Lately, I have felt life giving us strong contractions as God is birthing some great things in and around and through us.  I have felt myself reaching down really deep to establish a connection with the roots of Holy Spirit and to maintain that Peace that surpasses all understanding.

When I asked Jesus into my heart He gave me the gift of Holy Spirit and when I unwrapped the gift of Holy Spirit by receiving the second baptism I received the ability to “be still and know God” in a much deeper way and from right inside of myself.  Holy Spirit lives inside of me so I have constant access to all Holy Spirits resources at any time.  This is not only for physical birth processes, but also for spiritual births!  I am noticing a strong correlation between what is currently happening in our life and all of these birth stories.  There was a moment during the labor process for Micah’s birth that I was so so tired, and I was sitting down and talking and maybe complaining to God about it.  All of a sudden, I saw Jesus on the cross and God showed me that I wasn’t experiencing anything that He hadn’t experienced.  He showed me that I had to walk through this.  He reminded me that He didn’t stop Jesus from having to go through that painful process, but that process also brought life!  That moment gave me the courage to continue.  Right now, our family and business is going through a very intense birth process and at times I have felt like I didn’t know if I could endure it.  At other times, Chris has felt like he might not make it.  We’ve had to dig deep.  We’ve had to stretch our roots down deeper into His Spirit to endure times that, to our earthly eyes, seem impossible…but to our spirits God is calling us to something larger than settling.  Something bigger than being “like” everybody else.  God is calling us into the purpose or calling that He has on our lives and we are unwilling to not see it through.  We will not abort this “baby” that God is working to deliver into our lives, but we realize that (just as in actual labor) you don’t always see anything happening.  Sometimes during labor, you only know something is happening because of discomfort.  In life, it can be just like that sometimes.  I know God is doing something, but I don’t know fully what it is and sometimes the only way I know He is still working right now is because of our level of discomfort. Sometimes, things are only moving in the spirit and not in the physical world.  Those are the times when we must cling to God’s promises and any direction He has given us.  That is what sustains us.  That’s what can keep us moving in the right direction.  Knowing and believing His promises for me is what has made me relentless and unwilling to compromise.  God is a God of hope and dreams and life!  What are you hoping and dreaming and living for?  If you don’t know, then take some time and let yourself wander off into a dream and see where God takes you.  What do you have to lose?

 

Has life looked very different than you thought it would?  Do you feel the suffocation of disappointment?  Take a minute and reflect on the moments that you feel have defined your life.  If those are disappointing moments, then I encourage you….no I challenge you, to find God’s grace over that moment.  Look around that memory and ask Him to show you where He was when it happened and how He protected you.  I guarantee He was there.  I guarantee He was watching over you.  Without fail.  He is always attending to us.  Let go of disappointment and embrace the Father.  Let go of loss and failure and receive the One Who always succeeds.  When life looked most out of control, find His hand.  Walk into your memories and look for the calm in that storm.  He was there.  He is there still.  His watchful eye is on you.  He has never lost sight of you.

 

Keep me as the apple of you eye Psalm 17:8

 

The Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.  Psalm 1:6

 

My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on Your promises.            

Psalm 119:148

As I have spent time reflecting on the vision I had of the waters being parted, I saw myself there again but this time I began to look at the waters on either side of me.   I began to see the inhabitants of the waters that God had parted for me.  There were a lot of things inside the parted waters.  My walking out into His forgiveness had not only parted waters for me, but had also removed certain obstacles that accompany unforgiveness…..like fear, panic, doubt, stumbling blocks of insignificance, certain relationships with people who would’ve been drawn to an unforgiving person (like speaks to like…if we are bitter, then we draw other bitter people to us).  I also saw replays of some of my most sinful moments floating there in the waters.  Moments I’d rather forget, but if I held onto unforgiveness toward myself and others, then those memories would’ve plagued me.

As I walk out life with Jesus, more and more I see how truly complete His covering is over me.  He holds the entire world in His hands and never overlooks a single person.  He counts me all joy!  Why would I deny Him the pleasure of seeing me walk in the freedom of forgiveness and restoration?!  Think about that for a minute.  Let it soak into your heart.  When we decide to hold onto bitterness and unforgiveness, we are actually denying God the pleasure of seeing us live in the freedom that He sent His only Son to die for.  I can’t live with that thought.  I not only will forgive, I MUST forgive because I love Him so much.  I wouldn’t want to deny Him any type of pleasure that He could possibly receive from my life being lived out in fullness and freedom.  Don’t we see He is not religion?  He is relationship.  He is love.  He is my Father, Mother, Brother, Lover and Friend.  He is everything, and because I am so enraptured in my love for Him, I want Him to receive all the glory that my life lived out well could release to Him.

And then again, to bring it back into perspective…..We love Him because He first loved us.  Stop.  Re-read that.  We love because He first loved us.  Every bit of love that I feel for Him comes from a place inside where I first received His love.  You cannot give what you do not have.  When is the last time you stopped and just let the Father love you?  When was the last time that you stopped trying to love Him and instead first let Him come in and lavish His love upon you?  The only way that I have found my love and affection deepen for Him was to first receive the fullness of His love for me.

Today my hope is, you will take some time and let Him wash away all unforgiveness in your life and that you will receive a greater measure of His affection for you, and then in turn, that would draw you into a time of truly authentic and unashamed worship of Him.  Whether you worship to music or drawing or dancing or whatever you like to do as worship, I pray that today you would be released to do that in a more passionate and unashamed way than you ever have experienced before.

Meditate on this scripture:

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love.  We love because He first loved us.  I John 4:18-19

Sing, Daughter Zion; shout aloud, Israel!  Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, Daughter Jerusalem!
The Lord has taken away your punishment, He has turned back your enemy.  The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm.  On that day they will say to Jerusalem,
“Do not fear, Zion; do not let your hands hang limp.  The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.  He will take great delight in you; in His love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”                Zephaniah 3:14-17

I release over you a revelation of the Father’s love for you in Jesus name.  I pray that all pretense and any hindrance between you and His love would melt away right now as Holy Spirit releases the breath of life over your heart.  Awaken heart!  Awaken to the Lover of you soul!  Awaken to the One Who has been watching over you through the watches of the night.  Receive the love of the One Who truly knows your heart.  The Creator of all is looking down on you in love.  This is your moment.  Now is the time to let true loves first kiss come and rest on your lips.  We thank You Abba.  We receive it in Jesus name, Amen.

While running and worshiping one morning, I had a very clear vision.

I saw God split the sea and make it dry land before me, then as I walked through….Like Moses, I saw the water crash back in behind me, but without getting me wet at all and He said, “When you choose to step out into my sea of forgiveness, I will wash all remembrance of those sins away.  You only need to keep moving forward.”

Then I saw a group of people standing on the shore at the edge of the sea where He had parted the waters and they were afraid to step into it.  They were not trusting that it was as good as it “appeared”.  They were afraid the waters would crash in on them if they walked out.  Then I saw behind those people, Pharoah and his many troops.  He and his troops had no power over the people, but were behind them in a threatening manner trying to evoke fear.

WOW!  This is so accurate, I believe.  So many of us struggle with the idea that Christ forgives all of our sins, so we stay in fear….of our own accord.  What a glorious day it is when we choose to trust God is as good as He appears to be!!! He is all He has said He is and will do ALL that He said He would do.  We just need to move toward Him.

(I actually typed the words above 5 months before I wrote the rest of this)

I was summoned for jury duty earlier this year.  On that Monday I went to the courthouse for the selection process.  On the way, God made it very clear I would be chosen.  I just walked in agreement although I was very curious as to why He would be doing that.  Just as He said, I was chosen and told to report for the trial on Wednesday.

The responsibility of being partially responsible for issuing justice was a huge and sobering feeling.  I tossed and turned the night before, speaking to God about it all and wanting to make sure I would know what was true.  Throughout the day, as I listened and observed all of the proceedings, I kept having glimpses of Heaven.  I could see our accuser (satan) bringing his case before the King and listing out our many crimes.  I could see him weaving manipulation to try and deceive the One Who can never be deceived.  I saw him trying to force us into submission by piling on one after another reason for us to be unworthy of a pardon.  Then I saw the swift and clear hand of Justice sweep over the room. I saw that even in earthly court proceedings, we behave with reverence, and honor the system and God. How much more then will we respond at the throne of Heaven?  It was awe inspiring, to say the least.

Late in the day, after many testimonies and tiring hours I asked God again, “Why am I here? What did You want to show me?”

Then He showed me…..I saw the judgment day.  I saw the unbelievers being judged and then I saw the believers judgment come.  Then He said to me, “Lisa, I forgave your sins and then kept no recollection of them.  How then could you be held in judgment of something I have forgotten?”  In a flash, I began to refocus all that I see through this new clarity.

Jesus died for ALL of my sins way before I was even born.  How arrogant of me to keep feeling burdened by the past and afraid of making mistakes in the future when Jesus died for ALL of it in advance.  Now, I am walking redeemed!  I am like a child learning to walk and run and I don’t need to fear the falls!  I only need to trust He will continually set me on the right path.  If I veer off the wrong way, I can trust He will reset me.  I only need to continually come into His Presence and allow Him access to my heart.  I hide nothing from Him.  I tell Him every day that I give Him full access to all of me.  When I make a mistake, I bring it straight to Him and show it to Him.  Doing this has brought me so much freedom and has really helped me to further understand the grace that I live under.  I am only to remain childlike before Him….Trusting Him.

Today, I ask you if you have truly absorbed the fullness of forgiveness that Jesus paid for at the cross.  Have you come to a place where you are so confident in the height, width and depth of His love and forgiveness that you have stopped striving for His love and have surrendered to knowing that He has never been looking for perfection He only wants your heart.  He’s looking for willingness.  He’s looking for those who can fully recognize that on our own we can do nothing, but in partnership with Him there is NOTHING we cannot do!  He alone is the key.  He alone is Judge.  Who are you to even judge yourself?  No, He alone is Judge.  The only requirement for full forgiveness of sins is surrendering to Jesus and giving Him a home in your heart.  There is no striving in His love.

Take a moment and search your heart.  Are there any stones of unforgiveness that have been left to create a blockage in your heart?  If you have accepted Jesus into your heart, then you also have His Holy Spirit inside, and stones of unforgiveness (even unforgiveness toward yourself) can block Him from moving freely inside and through you.

Lord, right now I ask that You would show me if I have any stones of unforgiveness blocking Your Spirit from moving freely in me.  I pray You would teach me how to forgive, especially myself.  Don’t ever let me have a blind eye to unforgiveness in my life lest bitterness take root.  Let me walk in the freedom of the fullness of your love now and forevermore. In Jesus name, Amen.

But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt?  For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. Romans 14:10

And I saw Heaven opened, and behold, a white horse, and He who sat on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and wages war.  Revelation 19:11

And Jesus said, “For judgment I came into this world, so that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may become blind.  John 9:39

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.  Psalm 103:12

 

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.  Matthew 7:13-14

I have been thinking about this verse a lot lately.  I was watching the way different types of believers interact with each other and wondering why some feel they must force everyone around them to believe exactly as they do and follow them in submission to any whim of their thinking.  It’s actually shocking and very disturbing behavior. It’s not unique, however, it’s something I have encountered during my entire walk with God.

One day while considering this behavior I had a vision.  I saw those types of believers criticizing others who follow Holy Spirit and then I saw the far left liberals criticizing the same group and from both sides I felt pressed…..All of the sudden God said, “This is one thing that makes the road narrow”

Those who don’t believe in God have never really changed.  They are doing the same things and using the same tactics.  They are loud and forceful and brazen.  The controlling pharisee believers are also still the same.  The same behavior that led the pharisees to crucify Jesus, is the same behavior they use today to try to end moves of the Holy Spirit.  They are loud and forceful and controlling.  That is NOT Holy Spirit.

Holy Spirit, in my experience has been very gentle, and has always given me free will. Holy Spirit has always led me with peace, and when I surrender to Holy Spirit, I die to my need to be right.  I instead walk in the shadow of His wings and let Him validate what I do.

I follow a God Who wants to have a one on one, personal relationship with me.  He wants me to learn to listen to His voice.  I endeavor to speak out only when He prompts me to do so.  To use self control and not interfere when He is working in someone else’s life.

I often see this when I am dealing with my children.  One way I am currently growing, is in allowing my kids to have more freedom to make mistakes and more opportunities to learn how to listen to His voice.  They need to know Him.  This world is so noisy, and I must equip my children with the wisdom to stop, listen to God, and learn how to discern a truth from a lie.  I see this as a large part of my role as a parent.  I also see that I cannot step into every disappointment or hard time that my kids experience. In fact, God has told me in several circumstances to not interfere when they are wronged by someone.  He did allow me to encourage them privately, and then pray with them, but He wanted them to learn how to deal with negativity on their own.  It is a hard thing to do, but I have seen the fruit of Him using each instance to speak His truth to their heart!  How humbling it was to see that He was trying to use a bad situation in their lives in order to bring them closer to Him. (And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28)

Imagine if I had not listened and instead done what comes easy…..step in and “make it right”….It wouldn’t have been right at all!  These are lessons that I will NEVER forget.

God has repeatedly reminded me that I am to be NO ONES Holy Spirit….HE alone is Holy Spirit.

It is so important to frequently assess our own hearts and our true motives.  That can only be done in the quiet place.

Take some time today and ask God to examine your heart.  Invite Him in to see if there is any offensive way in you.  Be willing to see.  Don’t let condemnation come in.  When His light shines, even on our faults, it is filled with peace, and true repentance feels like joyful release.  Let Him soak into that deep, deep place that His light has been unwelcome to enter and begin to feel Him transforming you.  Look for peace. Once you have reset, ask Him what He likes about you.  And when He begins to gush about His affection for you…..believe it.  Write it down and leave your secret place with renewed perspective of the Father’s heart for you.

(It’s so good to ask God to show you any ugliness inside of you….but it’s equally important to ask Him to show you the good too.)

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.                        Psalm 139: 23-24

Most mornings I wake up before the sun is up, which gives me the privilege of witnessing the glory of the sunrise!  Every time I see it coming up looking like a red ball of fire, I think/hear “His love burns for me”.  That thought is like a blanket to my heart.  His love DOES burn for me.

When my day begins with recognizing the magnitude of His affection for me, it really gives me a strong foundation to walk out the day with love in my heart for others, and confidence in whatever I do because it’s from a foundation of love.  Our whole lives can be built around the absolute knowledge of His affection for us.  We can actually find rest in knowing His love better, and it leads us to love Him better because, the strangely wonderful thing about God, is that He gives us the love we have….even our love toward Him.  We love because He first loved us! I John 4:19

How humbling and awe inspiring is it to realize that the amount of love we have toward the Father actually comes from Him first loving us?! Is it just me, or is that not really cool?

I know that to some, this may sound way too basic, but what I’ve discovered in my journey with Abba is that it’s all basic.  Meaning, our lives and walk with Him could be so much easier than we make it because He’s already done it all! He chose us.  He loved us first. He forgave us. He died for us to be close to Him. He walked the earth as a man. He knows. He’s done all the heavy lifting and only asks that we rest in Him and the wonder of His love.

We are the ones who try to work ourselves into a frenzy to become worthy enough for Him…..But we don’t need to be “worthy”, He already chose us.  He already died.  He made the decision before we were even born to love us unconditionally and no amount of work could enhance or change that.  In fact, the times I feel His love most, are the times that I let go and stop trying and am still and surrender to feeling loved.

That’s it!  Our biggest challenge is to surrender to letting Him near our hearts to fully love us.  Right now, I see that some of you prickle at the thought of letting Him or anyone, for that matter, come close to you.  To let anyone hug you or hold you or whisper words of love into your ear.  Some of you have been so wounded or misinformed about Him that you actually (without realizing it) brush away His hand of affection when it tries to come and draw you near.  If that’s you, then I challenge you today.  I challenge you to take time in a quiet place…I see you sitting on the floor and then reaching out your arms to Heaven, as a child reaches up to be held by a father.  Our Father in Heaven wants to respond to you.  He’s waiting for the invitation to respond to you.  Ask Him, “Daddy, will you hold me?”  I see His arms reaching out for you now.  Oh, how He’s longed to hear those words.  No one could measure the height or depth or width of His love for you! What delight He took in creating you in the secret place.  What delight He has taken watching you grow into the person you are today, but He has longed for intimacy with you.  If you will, then ask Him to show you what true intimacy looks like.  I have asked this question, and it began the greatest journey into the heart of Love that I could’ve ever imagined.

Will you start that journey today?

 

Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love or God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:39

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.   You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.  Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.  If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.  How precious to me are your thoughts, God!  How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.  Psalm 139:1-18